Dark Souls 3 – Otzdarva's Bizarre Adventure

Pinhead Larry? and Fatstein Oh my God That is the worst fucking cosplay I’ve ever seen We’re being very fat-positive today XD We’re only summon–no Look at that skinny shit–no dogs are for bones, guys only real summons get real curves and Zax oh he seems pretty ripped I guess we’ll get him lol Is he actually fucking snacking XD nom nom nom XD hey Fatorias ??? Alright, guys, come on Let’s take this seriously, shall we “Otz, make this a youtube video” Alright, but only because you said so OH! Wait a minute Fatorias is snacking in the corner?! He’s not even trying to kill me Alright, guys he just has an eating disorder let’s just leave hi– FUCKING kill him he tried to assassinate the president :/ When we’re down here, they cannot possible aim at us phantom:*Stay behind me* alright it’s not difficult to stay behind you 😛 NICE well done nom nom ah– NOOOO NOOOOOOO *aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh* you cheating bastards XD discount Edwad lol Phantom Kyle: *Who calls Kyle(?) a discount* * what? that’s not true 🙁 * *wat..* uhmmm *I have failed* no, you haven’t failed, I – look i’ve full health *am just a cheap discount :'( * NO, you’re not, you’re not a discount Edwad You’re a fully fledged, err Original character named.. Kissable phantom: * Get out there and shine :)* Thats right, Shine hang on Kyle: *Shine? I can do that. Hold on* phantom: *Alright, bitches, we gunn do it* *We gonna kick da ass* *We gonna go dat way* *If we don go dere an gunn say FLOH* Listen, to your heart, PlanetBumble and then listen to mine too if it’s stops beating, you’ve done it wrong Also, WHAT THE FUCK is wrong with that fucking gate? phantom: * My heart is telling you, that like you died already* Don’t listen to your heart XD WTF is going on? WAT WHAT :O You just-just have to- AH motherfucker wat da hell WHAT THE F- WHAT?! let’s go w-w-what what do your onion eyes see? WHAT i’ll make it >_< I'll make it I'll make..it there you go there you go I got---I'm dead LOL Chael, you son-of-a-bitch oh SHIT he's taken that spot again protect me, DeepFisting alright, wait the next time he shoots, he'll need a few --oh SHIT there' one inside here :O FUCK NOO GET OUT I need to get out! oh God they're getting smarter oh no zig-zag, zig-zag god fucking damn it no, not the great hammer ohh fuuckk Patokia's spirit, hello! Do you come in peace? Patokia's Spirit: *Otz...*

NO, NO, i’m sorry *I know wat u dun* NO no NO the ??? was too long, I couldn’t find it *You banneed mee* nooo noo I promise, Patokia *Otz..* noooo *There’s only one way…* I’M SORRY I didn’t mean it *YES!* cry Why don’t you heal me up a little bit, Maria you know, just a, just a suggestion? godam- FUCK MARIA, I need some- It’s hopeless We’re all morons wha- Kor- Fuck it, I’m getting Kormit This has to happen Kormit De Frog: *Am Gun protect Praasident Otz, yaayyyy 😀 * yay..? *yayyyyyy 😀 :D* yay *yayyyyyyyy* Yaay *So much funnn* *yayy* yayy *Why arnt u mooving , Sir?* errm I’m sorry, I’m getting used to having a stand *dun unnstan* No, you don’t understand It’s a ‘stand’ It’s a spirit that’s just behind me and it has monocles for some reason or *binoculars *It’s err it’s wirrdd. GO :D* It’s very weird We’ll go, don’t worry *We’ll haf an ‘dventure, yayy* I have to summon the people that are going to try to kill us *I’ll try to take a bullett for u, sir 😀 * Yeah, err I’m sure that you will deflect them all Harry Book: *LOL* *I’m sorry, I can’t XD* Harry *LOL* Why are you laughing? *???* Don’t worry, Kormit It’s- he just read a funny joke on the internet It’s nothing to do with you. You’re doing a great job, mister Kormit: *ledsss gooo* Harry: *What am I doing with my life…* Kormit:*yayyy* Harry: *omg, ok I’m sorry* Kormit:*ADVENTURE :D* Oh GOD What the hell Havel, you just came from the sky oh, he’s charging? Kill the Havel! Kormit:*oh noe* don’t worry, Kormit he will behave alright, guys, we are literally invincible let’s play our cards right, okay? Kormit: *immuvvable u know, lik a rock* *watch out for dat* d-don’t worry, Kormit *I will be ur rok* You’ll be my rock? *with my shield of—wat* WHAT BigDIckBazuso, what you doing here? Go on, go to your- Kormit: *encroaching on ur personnell speyce* *i won’ let ‘im* Yeah, that’s right Yes he is *GO* You cannot be part of this meme team don’t worry, we got ‘im oh, shit, watch out *ow :(* we got ‘im, we got ‘im we got him nearly dead *Nooo* Kormit, noooo *i’m sowwie :/* KORMIT nooo 🙁 oh SHIT no- NO protect me, my stand fall back did you kill him? we’ve done it finally but at what price–oh SHIT WATCH OUT, watch out, watch out KILL HIM I cannot roll Harry: *J-just pretend I did that with fists* OKAY XD ok, it’s alright it’s alright, we got this we got this alright, so errm – – shall we summon this guy? Kissable Kyle? Yeah, I think you made the right call, Harry Kyle:*alll arrroun me arre familar faacess* *worn out plaaaces, worn out faacess* *d’you lik ma song?* hey Kyle XD that’s-that’s pretty good erm we do support you in your, in your singing career I like, I like your pants, Kyle *alll arrroun me arre familar faacess*

*worn out plaaaces, worn out faacess* Should I tell him? Alright! Boys! It’s time to–err It’s time to make it no more slow walk, we’re gonna get destroyed in this area. RUN Quick! Run! I told you nooo, my stand Harry! Kyle, run! there’s no time oh God, there’s literally no time quick this is working it’s actually working we’re making it nothing else has worked, not even my stand but quietly dancing to Brazilian instrumental music that seemed to do the trick until now, I guess well, so much for that Twinkin P- OH MY GOD Way ahead of you, Cowctus Oh shit he’s coming the timing too XD omg oh shit he does no damage NOO ow that was “is that Peeve?” Backstep into another backstep no that was a roll, but a backstep and a backstep anndd backstep again ANND fuck you’ll have to basically aim it at an angle shit yep, that’s oh what, he SURVIVED? dafuq i only kicked the one behind me beautiful listen up, guys, this is this is gonna be the most spectacular thing you’re ever gonna witness so please oh I’m pretty sure someone in this stream wants me to go hollow but don’t worry back to what I was saying into backstep into backstep into backstep and that’s how you trick him and now you just quit the game Dasschezunn? yo, thank you so much for that donation now, now we have a score to settle backstep into anoth– WHAT THE F- Harry: *let me just scout the area first* yes yes.what do your bookish eyes see, Harry? *an ugly motherfucker* you should’ve looked the other way then you fucking idiot let’s fucking go one of the best? you mean i’m not THE best someone ban Sementhegreat let’s play erm a nocturne composed by Sementhegreat it’s a very happy piece, so yeah erm I’m sure it will lift our spirits up That was one hell of an experience “Will you play Putt Putt if I sub?” yeah why not

Patokia’s just subscribed!? You sonovvabitch *It says ‘free camera’* Oh no, don’t use the freecam, Putt Putt You’ll get banned *well, if it isn’t Putt Putt* *It’s going to be quite a day* *I can’t wait until the zoo opens* *I’ll have so many fine gift items to sell* *gorillas, salt and pepper shakers* (why am I typing this?!?!) *souvenir hubcaps* *even free cameras* *cool cameras Patty* *Take it Putt Putt, the cameras are free, one per customer* NO *after all, it’s opening day* *thanks Patty* Oh no break this shit for your president Lasket: *I do no damage :O* Wtf were you expecting with a broken sword? You fucking moron *It did more damage on my higher level >_<* *I can heal doe, right?* errr, NO that's against the rules. :D What are you talking about :P *Noo president* Oh shit your president is being cursed step it up but don't heal! *well, goodbye* you can heal, I was kidding you can heal *got dat bitch* you can heal me! come back I need you omg I'm never gonna make it oh shit alright i'm not, not supposed to fuck alright, alright, I'll join the meme Jesus Christ quickly oh shit fuck well done you protected your future pres- never mind oh WTF oh shit that ain't right what Wait a minute, Sern? I summoned him as white omg he's turned on us oh shit no that's not how it's supposed to happen oh shit that was close Billy, get your fucking ass in here oh God oh GOD NO this isn't right oh shit there's no way I'll survive this Billy Where dafuq are you thank you god fucking damn it no no jesus wait WHAT motherfuckers they pulled the boss outside the boss room wait a minute I see something there :O it's right o- FUCK oh Kormit, hello :/ what happened, Kormit? Did they not accept you at the Bloodshade covenant? *I'm very sad today :(* what's wrong, tell us we are listening *verry verry sad :/* but why *I* *I had to kill Miss Piggy* oh SHIT *gone hollow* noo XD it's okay I mean, it can't believe it or not I've done it to-- what the hell Maldron?! nevermind *over here* no, don't follow me I'll just- *there we go* oh, you got miracles? damn Kormit *there's a lodda thhings you duno bout me ;)* "Watching the Abyss" A film by M.Knight Otz Mulan okay, we're good, we're good oh FUCK, we're not good at all. They both die-- Simon:*How did you like it?*

were you just clapping at yourself? *Did you like it?* errrr *Are you proud of me dad? :D* yeah, that was that was great effort quite the improvement from last tim– WHO THE FUCK did that? *Who did that?* *I will avenge you* *Make sure you don’t get hit by da balls, Otz oh, don’t worry *dere dengerous* I-I’ve got this under control *DaD why didnt ya listen to mee? :(* *Noo dad* *not again* ?? ?? AH shit oh God Harry, please stop me, you’ve got a miracle you got miracles, you can heal me, come on *Hold on, stand still* I’m standing still I’m standing still *Watch out* You told me to stand still! I’m still standing still *oh shoot* *Are you focking kidding me?* How can y- How can you stop him Oh shit, hang on, I need that pyromancy Ok, we’re good. we’re good we’re just we’re safe now I just need to–how much health do I have? oh 2? that’s fin– Ephidel, please XD god fucking damn it I’ll never let a ball hit me phantom: *Watch out, it’s coming.* yeah, I got this, I got this oh Poisegod? and god? *oh gosh, no* NO, he’s not– GET AWAY you fucking moro– NO *let’s get out the way* omg “Otz, what do you think about the Ukrainian dub for Jojo?” pretty sub-par I always thought that the that the Bulgarian one was bett–fucking hell shit, he keeps attacking me he’s fixated on me :O Harry! Harry, you fucking moron KILL HARRY Kill him He killed the crab goodbye Harry hope that was worth it OH SHIT HE’s BEHIND M– noo phantom:*where is he going?* NO NO, guys, guys let him be, let him be we have another mission now phantom:*eh wat* Harry:*Brother :D* Br–? wtf what is George doing here?! phantom:*George?* Harry:*Hello George. 😀 my brother :D* *I summoned him* what *I can bring him to our side* You can? *Yeah I can summon him, wherever I go, I just summon him.* I-I don’t know I – I – ah, it doesn’t say on the wiki :S *he’s mining* that Rapport works on Georges *oh let me join ya* alright, guys, we need– just stay there, I’ll, I’ll bring in the crab there you go ok Harry get your ass down here, quickly *Otz, I don’t trust you by yourself* I did- I did just fine by myself now *is he here?* *the crab :O * our friend the crab Harry *I’m sorry* Present your apologies to the crab *Mr Crabs* *I’ve got something for you* you’ve got something for it? *can u feel it?* *I can feel it Mr Crabs* *oh fuck, he’s attacking me?* He’s angry at you, Harry he’s coming–look he’s not even chasing me he’s fixated on you, he knows he knows what you did last summer wtf *Mr Craaaabs* *I’m sooooo soorryy* *Mr Craabs* *I’m soOOoo sOOrrryyY* *when you died* *part of me died too* *Mr Craaabs* *I’m sorry* *MR CRAAABSS* *If you need anything, you just let me know*

*Mr CRAAABS* Kyle: *ok* WHAT NO KYLE Kyle, you fuck– everybody fucking Kyle kill him Robbie Rotten? well, that’s a powerful ally if I’ve ever seen one (?) Ciri from the Witcher? it’s Ciri from the Witcher 😀 😮 hitboxporn boys “now look at this net that I just found” “when I say go, be ready to throw” wow wtf I actually remember it I dunno if I wanna go into the boss fight with these fucking freaks phantom: *please heeelp mee* he’s pretty fucked XD *oh no, it’s the wild hunt :O* *the wild hunt, it’s going to catch meee* *please help mee >_<* *ahhh* *oh god, please heeelp* one like, one prayer (subs by Kuroneko28) :D