Are you depressed today mother fucker!? Ariel! “What?” Why are you saying what? Stand up and lean on me bro, stand up and lean on me, c’mon Are you washing your clothes? Use two tide pods for titties of your cousins, ok? And this is why nobody is allowed to buy me drinks So im gonna give you a disclaimer, there’s a lot that’s gonna go on in this vlog so please pay attention Cause there’s a lot that happens in this one hour vlog. I do not want to do anymore 10-part series. It’s annoying to upload each one of them Today is September 19, 2020. I’m preparing two days ahead of my pussy appointment, so that I can actually have time to breathe. I’ve been selling my hero 4 session with the battery and my gimbal osmo mobile for some time now and my cousin really wants to buy it But what he doesn’t know is that I’m actually gonna give it to him ahead of time And I have enough clothes to last me like 5 days and in case of emergency 5 days like in case I accidentally piss myself and I don’t wanna go out. This bag is goddamn huge. Even after all that packing, I ended up packing in the green bag Because at the end of the day, I had no idea if this ginormous pink bag was gonna fit in the carry-on or not The pink bag is going through the same issues I go through on the amusement parks Cause we’re both fat Today is September 20th. What time is it right now? It’s 7:43 at night. It doesn’t matter how fucking long ahead I plan for this, I’m always, I’m never prepared Honestly, it doesn’t matter if you prepare a day before, a week before, a month before, you’re never gonna be ready for the things that happen in life. My car was full of bird shit, and then it was late as hell because I had a lot of things to do before I went on this trip and I have a flat tire that I don’t know where the air is coming from. On top of that, I barely have any money. So this trip is going off to a great start You’re ready for some double bass? I’m currently in a long distance relationship with my drumset I sold my drumset to Mr. G and I wanted to really play it On top of that, I haven’t jammed out with this guy in a long time so why not? I’m pretty sure most of you graduates know you do.. (Mr. G sings) (laughs) Let me see ooooh.. “Here you go.” How are you gonna s-, are you just gonna send it like this or are you gonna take a picture and be like here you go… “I’m gonna scan it.” Who are we supposed to modify for this? (coughs) That’s not the engine, that’s in this real bike That’s what the bike looks like. “Yeah.” And it has a single engine? It’s a si-, it’s a two pistons but they’re facing this way. Side by side like that. “Yeah, and you had to make” Yeah this one’s a V twin and it’s called flathead, a Harley Davidson V twin So Mr. G also draws. Yes, you can make a living out of drawing. You can make a good amount of money drawing designs for engineers and a bunch of other stuff. Don’t give up artists DON’T GIVE UP Oh well I had a lot of fun. I’m gonna leave my flight in a few hours so I’m heading home. Unfortunately, I couldn’t wash my car. I hope my cousin can hook me up, and help me fix that tire cause that shit is flat all the fucking time Every fucking morning it’s so flat, I don’t know why! GUAT!? AH! So my birthday is coming up and my girlfriend is really into these watches. I don’t know what they’re for really cause I’m fat and I don’t do shit. But she really wanted one. It was half-off, I told her it’d be better if she just saves her money so that we can actually do stuff together instead of buying the thing so now what I did what she does not know about is that I actually ended up buying her the watch That she really wanted Now I can’t wait for the reaction that I’m gonna get “BRUH!” You have no idea how hard it was for me to not spoil this to her I usually end up spoiling a lot of things just because I want to see the reaction right there Like the way I spoil myself with food. “JUST GIVE ME IT RIGHT NOW! I WANNA SEE IT NOW!” It is the lovely time of early as shit I love how every time I go to these trips, it feels like I’m gonna go meet her for the first time all the fucking time But in any case, I just took a shower, I shaved, I ate breakfast, I have this ginormous bag as a carry on and this is my personal add-on So today commences the first day of the vacation birthday vlog. It’s not really a vacation, it’s just a week to celebrate my birthday Whatever. Today we have an extremely long day ahead of us. Especially with the fact that today I’m gonna actually go to the beach after I arrive to Florida so uh.. good luck eyes I only slept for four hours My face is so big that I actually don’t notice that I still have shaving cream on the side of my cheeks After having a complete and balanced breakfast, I have everything ready to go by the exit of my house, because when I double park, I really don’t want a ticket I also got Los’s care package inbound ETA, I have no fucking idea. I still have to do a lot of stuff before I even go on my flight. It is the lovely time of 4:49am
And my flight departs at 7:30 which means I should be there by 6 because it’s gonna take a while to get into that security I went to find my car in the lonely road of two blocks away because I don’t have a parking spot. I don’t have a garage like some of you guys do you fucking privileged bastards. If I come home too, I gotta find a parking spot with a meter and I have to pay for it, so good luck wallet And legit 14 miles until completely empty Like 1/4 14 my friend After heading to the bank and depositing all the saved money that I had for this trip, I went to the gas station to fill up this car and then I took my car to my cousin’s place. He would hold my car for me while I left The reason being is because where I live, you have to move the car on the specific days and I wouldn’t be here for an entire week, so I’m gonna get like 5 tickets if I don’t do this Help me dog, I’m a dog! Dog! I’m gonna hook him up with this box! Wait come back box! AHH!!! Here look To my nigga Los the most, with much love, from the GOAT NIGGA! Oz If you can’t read that shit, you’re illiterate as fuck If you’re watching this Carlitos, it’s in the back and I also have the fucking charging thing you wanted me to get because your girl’s car is dead as shit Like my career Waiting for my uber like a G6 With this plane, most of you know how this goes After flying there so many goddamn times, I should’ve just moved at this point They call us by rows, we go to our seats, we put our carry-on’s at the top section, then we sit down and wonder why the hell I got the old plane again. I paid good money (clap) for this shit! To get an old plane, that was a good 30 bucks So just like last time, there’s no contracts for us to have to quarantine so the law isn’t gonna be able to fuck us over like it usually does. So I know the entire musical montage of the sky is pretty long compared to the other videos but I don’t know. This time it just felt so nice and it looked lovely. But hold on, I feel like we forgot something This nigga Oz went to Florida and he says he left me a gift in the car so let’s go find out what it is To my nigga Los with the most With much love from the goat What the fuck is up with this key my mans? What the fuck is this? He gave me a broken light, look at that! Some lenses for the phone. My mans gave me a go-pro! Yo! My nigga Oz yo! Oh shit! The gimbal, imma be honest right now I’m getting very emotional. My nigga Oz yo! (crying) OZ!!! Somebody calling me? After getting out of my flight, walking to the monorails so I can get to the main part of the airport, I took the escalators downstairs as you know, to go to the car rental And guess who’s there? I don’t know if you remember me. “I do.” “From last week right?” No, like a month ago you were like wanting a fight, yeah. I thought (laughs) You were like “no, you’re not 25” I’m like yo! I am looking at it again bro (laughs) If you don’t know what I’m talking about, here’s a quick recap of what happened last time I rented from here. So as I give these guys my ID and my credit card, the employee was so shocked that first he thought my birthday was in August It’s in September. And then he was arguing with me saying that I’m not old enough to drive something along the lines of a Dodge Challenger. Bro I’m almost too old to drive a Dodge Challenger This, this time he didn’t have any problems figuring how old I was So uh, I guess they uh saw this video and trained him in Mathematics Where is it, where is it? There it is! We finally got the goddamn challenger. Now although it wasn’t as big as I thought it would be, it didn’t sound as boring as I thought I would. I mean at least it’s a goddamn challenger Goddamn (laughs) at this point, this car is a catfishing car. It’s V6 3.6 liter engine It provided me with 305 force power, 286lbs of twerk. It also has an 8-speed of automatic transmission, but it also can go to manual and I’ve done it before, it sounds badass! I mean look at the trunk. It’s big enough to hide like 3 bodies! I’M IN A FUCKIN CHALLENGER NIGGA! HOLY FUCK! So while test driving the shit out of this, I headed over to my girl’s place. I didn’t go up to my cousin’s house and took a photo in front of it, cause I’m not a dick anymore And as you can see from the video footage and all the hand signs that I’m doing, I’m actually really fucking happy!
But the one thing I’m extremely curious about right now, is what is her reaction to the watch I’ve bought her? First time. I feel like this is the fucking first time my, I’m nervous as shit! For no fucking reason. So she really wanted this She really wanted this, and I told her to save her money and not buy it But I decided to buy it. What was the point? I mean it’s a fucking gift now, it’s a surprise. Let’s see what happens You did not get the watch You gotta find it first You have no idea how badly I tried not to spoil this and shit As you can see from her reaction, she really likes it! And afterwards, we packed up our shit, went to the car, and drove all the way to Clearwater Beach. That’s like by Tampa, Florida It’s an hour and 30 minute drive but hey, when the water is much more than the air itself around you, why the fuck not? We parked in this parking garage that was like $18 a day or some shit or even more and I really don’t remember, which saved us from some Florida heat because honestly once we got out there, it felt like we were shedding like a lizard You know, usually when I get here on the first day it’s usually very hectic because the car rental and the hotel and all this stuff but today was actually pretty relaxing especially the beach temperature although it felt like we were in the gates of hell because of how hot it was, the water was really warm and it felt so rica One of the worst things about coming to the beach is when you have all that sand all over your body, especially the parts that create friction like in between your legs. And me being so ginormously huge, in between my legs I end up breaking down sand much better than my stomach breaks down food And when we had to go back to the shop, everything felt horrible because the air conditioning just made us even colder But hey at least they have indoor surfing After putting everything back to the car and getting changed, we drove home. But at the end of this road trip, we ended up coming across a fatal accident Well it wasn’t that fatal, it was just fatal to my patience You guys at Florida not know how to drive like? I get that you guys get your license at 15, but like look what happens when you guys get into these horrible accidents and it’s not like a rare occurrence it’s like.. “Miami’s daily traffic!” At this point, Florida is legally blind when it comes to driving While we parked and checked out the room they gave was usually like room 120, we started remembering the last one we were in the same hotel last time I was here. And while we were checking around a lot of different sections of this new room even this giant ass mirror, we kinda wanted our old room back. A decision I ended up regretting, I’m not gonna lie to you I’m about to pull a Karen right now but imma see what we can do. I ended up going back and asked them nicely for the room that we had last time and they ended up giving it to us. Just to clarify something, this is a resort, not a hotel I know it says hotel but it’s pretty much a resort And for the price of $30 a night, it was really good. At the time that we arrived, they even had the pool open and they were watching Jurassic Park for the kids so if you’re a fan, I really do recommend this resort (singing) Can I do it slower? “I’m sorry I am full right now.” Remember when I said I regret the decision to go back to this room? There we go. “EWWWWW” STOP! NOOOOO! “Don’t be surprised boy!” AY! DON’T CLOSE THE DOOR ON ME YOU CRAZY BOY! I mean on top of the fact that the refrigerator wasn’t even cooling yet and we had to get another one 3 days later, I mean it was okay I-we had a good time The last thing we did that put the icing on the cake on the first day is that we ended up eating at waffle house cause that thing is 24 hours We’re here at waffle house and bebe is hungry as shit And so am I I’m sunburned, look at this shit I look like that one girl from TikTok tho I was about to get some breakfast, I’m not gonna lie to you (laughs) “AH POW POW POW POW!” She actually thought I was gonna hit the pancake bro That woulda been hilarious It was a whole anime moment in my head
We are home, me and bebe can see if we can survive with $18 of shit for 9 days Alright so, we’re gonna go to fuckin’ sleep. I’m gonna just cuddle cause bebe’s tired as fuck. There’s apparently a gift la bebe got for me, made for me, and she even made the box! Did you make the box? WHY DID YOU LIE!? “I did.” It looks… beautiful Because you’re beautiful bebe That bow looks amazing Come here you beautiful bitch I think what my girlfriend is looking forward to right now is just cuddles and footrubs And just cuddles and footrubs That’s what I just said you stupid fuck I’m a black dog, she’s a black dog. Look at that black dog “Ooh.” Ooh, that’s right I heard a noise! Anyways Today we were supposed to go to Miami So we can see Abuelita, but that’s been cancelled One more vlog? What the fuck is that shit? “Soup.” (vomits) Meow “Bow wow.” Meow Today is September 22nd and we are going to do some stuff Originally we were going to go to Miami however, because we were so goddamn tired from yesterday going to Clearwater Beach, we decided to just cancel it Instead we decided to buy some food and stuff so we can survive for the next 8 days since I’m gonna be here. We can’t just constantly be going to McDonald’s every single day, 3 times a day. It’s gonna make me go more broke We’re gonna go to the Village the the, the hidden Spanish village I ended up spending like 80 bucks on Walmart on food. I still survived until I left She ended up taking most of it home after I went home Since we weren’t gonna do anything important tonight, and we weren’t gonna do anything major tomorrow, I decided to buy us a lot of alcohol so we can get hammered. You ever seen a couple do never have I ever while getting drunk as fuck? Meow My girlfriend knows me as a man of my word and I always keep my promises But sometimes keeping my promise to let her drive the very fancy car seems to be a mistake I keep doing Bebe finally drove the fucking car And everybody’s probably wondering how much trust I have in you. I’m letting you drive a rental Babe I thought I told you to look good What do you mean? I thought I told you to look pretty, we’re goin-AHH!! Did the guy what? “Is he going after you?” Yeah. “You’re a kid.” After potentially getting murdered, we decided to start heading to Spanish springs. It’s a really amazing place that makes you feel and look like you’re in Spain. Except all the retired white people who once inhabited it. It’s like they really love the spanish culture, but they don’t like the spanish people Hello? Yeah? No I’m just here, I’m here with my friend We’re just gonna, we’re just gonna hang out I’ll see you later tonight. I’m with my friend Yeah, don’t worry I’ll bring all the bitches when we get to that party Eh? What? That’s what I thought (laughs) You know honestly at this point, Wawa should just hire us. Or at least sponsor us. Because we’re always stopping by Wawa getting everything they own at this point No I’m not busy, I’m here with my wife Yeah I’m just here with my wife She’s just sometimes stupid as fuck but I’m here with my wife What? What? What? “Where’s the ring?” RIGHT HERE BITCH! You want to be on this side? (laughs) Come my love. I KNEW IT! Hey baby! Uh can I go ahead and head over cause I need to get
Friendly neighborhood Oz. And today, I gotta take a huge shit and my girlfriend’s busy in there That’s basically what it is right now. HELP ME! QUICKLY! AHH! “Hurry up.” Babe (smacks) AHHH! HELP ME! GOD HAVE MERCY!!! “CONO!” MY CULO! IT’S NOT COOL TODAY! Why’d you lock the door for me? What are you doing? Let me take a shit bro! “NO!” What are you doing? “NO!” (laughs) “COME OUT!” Come out! “COME OUT! I beat him to it!” She went “come out!” “YAY!!!!” Alright now I’m gonna beat that PUSSY! “You like that? You little-Hey! Hey!” Argh! (laughs) FUCK! And now the part where I fuck up. So today, we’re gonna get fucking drunk. Some Yellowtail, her favorite Rumchata, and a Captain Morgan as last We’re gonna get fucked up today. So because my girlfriend has never been drunk before and she’s always admitted to me that she’s never been drunk before, I decided let’s play a drinking game to make this easier to see what would happen if you actually get drunk I thought I was gonna get drunk too. Things went south really fast Never have I ever spied on my neighbors In what way? Would I be doing that? Cheers. “Cheers mi amor” It’s Stage 5 now The rims were obnoxiously way too big for the car itself And then the car was on brakes because either someone stole it or they have a car! (laughs) Never have I ever stolen something with a higher value than $10 You fuck. You fucking thief. “It was a glow in the dark bracelet from Europe.” Never have I ever kissed a celebrity WELL YOU F-(laughs) “Stop biting!” Never have I ever fallen in love at first sight With what, a human or a pet? Never have I ever said I love you when I didn’t mean it BITCH WHAT? (laughs) Nothing, I just wanted.. “To who?” If I didn’t love you, you think I would rent out a Dodge Challenger for you to drive? A few drinks later and a couple of these later She looks like a fucking cat. “I don’t like it. I don’t like it.” We’re almost done With the wine We ended with this game watching a YouTube video that her brother was in it, and honestly it was goddamn hilarous. “This is Many!” Whatchu doing man? Whatchu doing? You just laughing up there? “Yeah.” You didn’t see anybody? “Across home?” So I’d be pissed if I say Oh my god! Yasmany died twice And then after a couple of more drinks later, this happens and that’s how you know, you messed up Again, never have I ever faked an orgasm I just took a sip (laughs) What? “That’s fresh sugar (laughs) We should do that (laughs) The fuck! Did you just take my That’s how my stomach feels right now I do, I drink. “Every time, it just feels like I wanna take it out.” Damn she put the finger out on me. At this point, I didn’t know if she was a serious drunk or if she was always angry And people went “YEEE HOOO!” (laughs) You see at this point we should’ve stopped, which we did We should’ve stopped a while back tho. I ended up telling her that I was gonna get up and drive because obviously she’s scared of me drinking and driving and I never drink and drive. If I drink, I stay there until I’m sober or if she drives. But uh, obviously she’s drunk. And this is what happened next What do you want? “I want you.” Alright. I’ll get uh.. I’ll get you lard and what else? So what sweet kind of banana am I? “You’re a very suit banana to the point you can meet the rest.. purpose.” She says why did you…. I felt that My lips are going numb, and my head feels really fucking heavy and lightheaded “really” and I love you so fucking much you don’t even know You’re the best of I I drink more than you You want to do an up with me! “OHH!” That bed legit said
What are you doing? “You’re not leaving.” You’re…drunk FUCK! I’m gonna open up like Up Get up. Get up! Why do you love me? Why do you love me? Come here. “Cause you are the best.” My girlfriend apparently got the munchies out of alcohol, because she ended up making me get a bunch of nuggets from Wendy’s OW! “Oh I’m sorry.” Ooh, what was it? “It was a Jack Sparrow toy.” (laughs) Getting hit by Johnny Depp? Yah.. (laughs) Bye Hey! Let me get like two more months I’ll make you good until FUN NIGGA!…. Khakis! No I do If you leave, I’m breaking up with you! Oh that’s it, that’s it! This is war! You would really do that? “I will not have a dead boyfriend!” You would really do that? She really said yo look, it’s Jeff the Killer Leave me alone “You would really break up with me?” drive you didn’t look the roach is in!” Babe I think leaving the roach is the least of your worries right now I’ve been trying to look for this song that’s for that you frickin’ left that’s… I WANT YOU BACK! Give me your phone bitch Holy shit how’d you? (laughs) How could you do that? FUCK! (laughs) Are you gonna fuckin’ kill yourself in a car crash? I’m gonna have to use the Ouija board After this moment, I started to realize that I made a huge mistake because afterwards this ended up happening She’s complete dick (cries) Now we know what kind of drunk she is, a depressed drunk To hooray cheerios, she got revenge on me eventually. And spoiler alert, it was worse than hers Down the pizza, that pizza “That pizza?” That pizza? “Yeah you.” The day…. is September what? 23rd? Yeah September 23rd. We’re 5 days away from my birthday 2 days away from celebrating it Don’t start off with wine Yeah guys, don’t start off with wine, OR YOU’LL DIE! The next time she looks at anything that looks like alcohol, she’s about to throw up. The funny part about last night was the fact that it was her first time drunk, her first time tipsy, her first time blacked out, and now her first time hungover Vroom vroom bitch! Look a girlfriend, even when she’s drunk as shit You can tell from this lonely face that only her mother could love that she really wants to kill herself right now We don’t gotta lie, we all know I’m fat as fuck! Originally what we planned to do today was that we we’re gonna go to Dave and Busters with her brother because we planned to do this a while back before I even came here for my birthday vlog. But instead, this ended up happening My girlfriend is really fucking pissed off at me right now I wonder why We were gonna go to Dave and Busters, but at this point, I’m just gonna have to take care of her at the hotel Which is pretty much what ended up happening. We searched up hangover remedies that include a lot of bread. I heard some bread was good for hangovers. Look at that bread Bread. BREEAAAD! In the meantime, we ended up getting a new fridge just because the other fridge wouldn’t even cool. And we ended up doing laundry because we had so much dirty clothes goddamn, I felt like I was there for an entire month already I even got enough time to put on a good workout So after having an entire day of doing very minimal things By some miracle, her hangover just disappeared so we decided to go out. The first stop we went to is this Italian buffet where interestingly enough, one of the people who worked there started asking me questions about my relationship because I told her we were long distance, and she started asking me how it works out because usually long distance doesn’t work out But when we were all in hardcore quarantine, we were in technically all long distance relationships at that point. I should make a video explaining how long distance relationship works. Like how communication is key, and how next time I should never give her a facial while she’s sleeping So then afterwards, we actually ended up going to Dave and Busters, but just me and her We first went to see what prizes they had today because usually it’s always different, and everytime I go to Dave and Busters I usually try to win my little brother some plushies from Sonic We ended up leaving Dave and Busters without getting any prizes, but we left with 4000 tickets. Since next week is Wednesday and it’s the last time we’d be there, we decided to go there with her brother. So at least that way, we’d rack up more tickets
We’re done with Dave and Busters We have about 4,400 tickets We got a lot of tickets. When we come back, we won’t be able to get another 4000… I hope I never thought I’d see the day Where I would be wearing one of my girlfriend’s shirts You do that to talk Hey, did you get in that when you can definitely fit in this one AYE! No one’s allowed to look at that except ME! I don’t know what’s worse. The fact that she’s a girl and has to remove a lot of facial hair everyday, or the fact that I’m a guy and I barely ever get facial hair everyday I barely ever get to use that shit Today bebe is looking good. While le bebe is looking like a fucking bomb. Today is September 25th, and today we barely did anything We honestly didn’t do shit. We ended up just getting really bored and going to Best Buy just to hang out and check out some new stuff. Hoping that I can get my new Hero 9 camera that’s waiting for me at the house, a media mod. But first We’re going to waffle house bitch It has it’s stove. “It has a stove bro.” Wait! Imma show you how to be a gentle boy My lady Damn… Oof! Which we did. We ended up going to waffle house and having a big ass breakfast before going to Best Buy. You the best bebe ever from all bebembherrrr Right bebehr? “Yes. bebembherrrr.” Tomorrow we’re gonna go to uh.. Miami and I’m really excited for that. We’re gonna go early as shit. Tomorrow we’re going to Miami and staying overnight I went to Best Buy to go check out the new Hero 9 of the GoPros. They have it there but that shit is way too expensive. I ordered mine online for like $350. It costs as much as a Hero 8 The way it works is that they sell you the GoPro, but you also have to get a 1 year subscription for like 50 extra dollars. The subscription ends up including things like warranty for any camera if it breaks, no questions asked. Don’t repair it, you’ll get unlimited cloud storage, and you’ll also get up to 50% off on almost all their media mods on their website. So, it’s either $350 for their website for the Hero 9 or $350 For the Hero 8 on Best Buy I think I’m gonna go on the website Then afterwards, once we got back to the hotel, we got dressed because my cousin Jonathan decided to invite us to a nice dinner at his place. We ended up having pizza, a nice conversation, some game of pool, and a little bit of alcohol. My girlfriend looked at that and was like (vomits) My cousin’s wife was really into making arts and crafts and she made this little house over here that actually turns on with a battery. Really cool! I finally left his house, it was a nice conversation. Apparently bebe loved my outfit…. apparently.. (giggles)…. apparently She couldn’t stop staring at me at all We had a nice conversation, we played pool and we just talked alot, and now we’re going back to the hotel. I got a guitar with me and we’re gonna have a great time tomorrow… we should pack It’s a le me. Con la bebe. Going to Miami. With le bebe number 2. She goes bark! Right bebe? “Bark!” That’s no meow. That’s no meow! It’s 6:20 in the morning. We’re gonna go to Waffle House first or Dunkin Donuts. We’ll see how we feel once we get to go eat breakfast but first I gotta bring all this shit before staying the night. We’re gonna have a great time. I might go to Hollywood Beach, I might go to South Beach, who the fuck knows? It’s basically Clearwater Beach, but in Miami where you get shot We are almost there mate! We’re almost at the part where I get really drunk! So we planned to wake at like 5 in the morning but we ended up sleeping at 1 in the morning so it’s like… I need sleep! If not, we’re gonna die on the way over there! We first went to Waffle House to get food on the go. We wanted to hit the road like a Jackhammer’s wet dream. It’s almost a 4 hour drive from where we are to my cousin’s place Even while hitting Fast and Furious speeds. I have no idea how I didn’t get a ticket in Jersey standards, but apparently in Florida, this is a normal speed After an hour and a half on the road, we decided to stop by to take a piss break
After 2 and a half hours on the road, my legs started to hurt, my kidneys started to fail, and I felt like I was gonna get a Charlie Horse Once I took the exit to go to the vicinity of my cousin’s house, I knew we were in Miami Just look at the houses. It literally looks like Charles, the legal weed dispenser guy, lives around here There she is look! She’s a right there! She’s being crazy! Look at that crazy person! “Hi, what’s up!” She made it You ready to get fucked up? “Will you post it?” Do you want me to? “Uhh… no I have too many fans.” After I started bringing her all of my stuff to her house, she gave me a little tour. Over here, she has a kitchen where she makes her butler cook for her and over here we have the living room, where we binge watch America’s Ladybug while high and drunk. And out here in the backyard, we can find Charles Timothy Jr. the weedman, and one of his own 3 Mercedes golf carts Ewww, let’s rent out a golf cart Over here we have the walk-in closet that shit comes out of everyday because of emergencies, and this is the smoking bathroom because you end up looking smoking hot after a couple of drinks So we’re gonna go to this bar called Brickwater or some shit where we can get drinks for 1/2 off during happy hour and we’re just thinking like Hey let her go first. You should see why she should get the discount (laughs). You look Mexican behind her. “Yeah (laughs)” Right right right? After going outside and seeing how lovely today was, we got to talk about ducks. HELP! It’s the attack of the ducks! They go quack! Leave me alone you crazy ducks! “(screams) MY GOD!” Are you happy ducks? Look at them bond! That’s all you gotta do is throw uhh.. leaves. Look at the trail. Why are you on the trail? Come on. Come on! “Look at the tan one.” Come on! Come on! “Help!” I gotchu! (laughs) It bounced yo, it bounced! Run! (screaming) Then afterwards, if you remember the semi final episode of the Florida novelas, we went to visit Grandma and Grandpa in that really beautiful gravesite. So we decided to come back just because we were close to the vicinity Which we only did for a couple of minutes because we thought we were gonna come back on Tuesday The fuck you’re laughing at? (laughs) Yo. “It sounds so stupid.” One of my exes told me that this one guy was like trying to hook up with her by saying Made a girl cum once, by making her squirt. “Yeah.” And if you overly fucking exaggerate yourself where you overly… “She probably peed on you (laughs)” When someone brags a lot like that. “Oh yeah, I’m the best. I’m the best you’ll ever have!” “I made a girl cum once! The squirt!” (laughs) She probably peed on you (laughs) So many guys say it but you actually are telling the truth! (laughs) “Let’s go.” Well you heard it here folks. Whenever I say I’m gonna do something to my woman, I actually mean it. Which explain why most of my exes keep hitting me up after they realized their mistake. And they don’t stop! I have no particular reason why I put that scene on there, I just wanted you to admire this car I should get a sponsorship by Dodge. After we got ready and I put my fancy attire I look fucked up. Right bebe? The three of us started to head to the Brickwood bar, where we would meet up with my other cousin Lisa and my cousin Ariel. This place is known for being exquisite and pretty expensive, so we went during Happy Hour just to get drinks (coughs) (laughs) I mean this area’s pretty much known for expensive places I mean, look at this! It’s an exotic ass car but blurry as fuck! Then afterwards, when we decided to actually go eat something, we went to this restaurant down a few blocks, but because there was the Miami Heat game, it was so packed that we were number 102 on the waitlist so we decided to just dip and go to another place Happy now? Eat you bitch Remember gentlemen, feed your bitch, because if not, she’ll get cranky every 5 to 10 minutes and start threatening you with things that she really doesn’t want to do That was the worst Englishmen accent I’ve ever done in my life, and I really don’t give a fuck. At this point it was like 12 or 1 in the morning and one of my cousin’s friends decided to invite us to his house for a house party. Trust me, this isn’t the point where I get smashed Everybody else was smashed before me, and I got slaughtered the next day so Fuckin’ house party It was nice to meet you. “With some shit!” (laughs) Where were you at, I don’t know. I know she good “Really?” but you don’t “No get the fuck out of here.” No she good. No she’s good, but you’re not. She’s good but you’re not You see what I’m saying? Hammered like a bent nail Babe I’m… like Florida DAMN! Six… what’s the second, what’s the second? Yo!! Look at that shit, fuck yo! Oh, holy fucking shit! “Oh yeah.” It’s over 100 my nigga!
It wasn’t even ready, it wasn’t even ready The only way I can show you how hammered most of these guys at this house party got is to show you Hey yo nigga you good? “Tambien.” (laughs) This nigga is done I got to the point where I asked this random guy for 20 bucks and he gave it to me and then I came back and told him that I’ll give him 20 bucks if he beats me in an arm wrestling. (laughs) We’re good, we’re good. “Yeah. Nah I’m good.” Are you sure? The fact that he got desperate and he started using his entire body weight against my one arm, means that I’m a strong boy! Everybody’s funnier when they’re drunk, or maybe it’s just the fact that they’re funnier when I’m drunk If you were to ever ask me what is the worst part about being drunk, it’s the fact that it feels like you’re playing Rust but you’re shooting five egg cases and three rockets at the same time Today is I have no fucking idea. The 26th, today is the 26th. We’re gonna go to the fucking Miami Beach or some shit. We’re gonna go to some good place Specifically we went to this beach called Hollywood Beach. It’s a really nice beach that has a bunch of your usual Miami Beach locations… things.. stuff And because in Florida, the weather was way more bipolar than Jersey that it just randomly started raining super hard. And trying to find parking here wasn’t easy either Believe it or not, it’s actually more normal around here for you to go to the beach while it’s raining because the weather is just that random. But once we arrived, we set up and just randomly went into the water Today we’re in Hollywood Beach, and this shit is warm as fuck! This shit is like a hot tub, but at the beach Not to mention, woah! “Oh my lord.” It was so warm that it actually was a little colder outside of the water than it was inside. It would be really weird to say that at a public pool And if you can tell, yes it’s extremely clear And you’re gonna find out that’s a really good thing later on when we find tuna fish Alright tag you’re it (laughs) Yo. They let my nigga go! They gotta do this shit! That’s my nigga, where he go? Holy Bruh!! And down! Why’d you run tho? “That’s what’s up!” Bruh! Imma stay here with bebe cause she’s my wife Everybody started gathering up by the shore because they saw a dwarf loose out in the ocean, which was actually a spookfish. Aww a little fish! A dwarf loose over here is where all the spookfish were at Now this is the part where I fuck up Big time Yeah I’m officially drunk. I am fucked (laughs) I’m fucked yo Yo I’m randomly seeing shit right now “Alright, lend me your phone.” It got to the point where it starts feeling, not feeling my eyes and now I don’t feel my body Hey it’s not my problem, I’ll carry you Are you sure? Are you sure you want scoliosis? Got it! “This is cup number 4.” That’s my fifth shot. “Or 5.” Dude he is struggling Oh no this is bad, you need to help me Yo que I’m drunk as shit. This ends up becoming a complete understatement later on You guys coming here? (laughs) Why are you laughing? I’m staying here cause I’ll die Come here! (laughs) Come here, so innocent
Woo! Oh, he can’t even come out on straight That’s it? I’m not, I’m too drunk You ever get so drunk that you end up becoming the kid of the party? OH BOY! Por que? Let’s go, ready? (laughs) Wait chill out, chill out, chill out, chill out You’re laughing! You’re lost because I’m I’m trying to get you up man Which is like getting me on a treadmill I’m all four until I actually have to start running I’m dizzy! “Ok.” I’m confident, I’m dizzy. (laughs) “Yes I know you’re dizzy.” She’s laughing. “That’s what I’m saying, you want-” she’s laughing! Wait till you get to the sky! Back to the ocean I go to be free with my brothers, the whales I told you, you were gonna fall bro Hey hey hey hey hey Oh shit At least I’m alive! “We still got you, we still got you another drink brother!” “No, no, you’re done.” “No no you’re not done.” No I’m done. “You’re not done bro, you’re not done.” My body, my body! My body knows when to stop drinking! Lisa I love you! “I love you!” Bitch give me your hand! Is your birthday Monday or Tuesday? “No no no!” “Yes it’s his birthday Monday!” “What is that?” “Water.” Drink more water I’m starting to get a fear of liquor. I’ve gotten more trust issues (laughs). I’ve gotten more trust (laughs). I’ve got more trust issues with these girls than I do with my exes Are you washing your clothes? Use two tide pods for titties of your cousin! “Ok.” That was the most inspirational thing I’ve ever said, it will definitely win the hearts of many And then Lisa, and then Down the pizza, that pizza “Pizza?” That Pizza Fuck off! I’m not cute. “Oh my god you’re so cute, look at you!” I was trying so goddamn hard to grasp my consciousness that was leaving away through my fingers. That’s why I kept trying so hard to hang out with all of my cousins that were around me The moon is up there Yeah the moon is up there look at that So nice so pretty I wish the camera could pick it up “To look up your pretty face.” I swear to god if you don’t stop talking to me in such a cute way I’m gonna cry! She loves me? She loves you not “Or she hurt me.” “Why did she hurt you?” Alright, imma tell you the story. Imma tell you a story about. “Why you say the story? We’re gonna get something to eat.” Oh my god, you got saved! You got saved! I’m staying here but you’re getting Babe will you stay here with me? Yes, forever. “As drunk?” (laughs) Whatever I’m drunk as shit. “Your eyes are red.” I cannot feel my body, my eyes are red because of you. Bebe, la bebe Ariel! “What?” Why are you saying what? Ok so somehow I went from the beach, I teleported to my car. But here’s exactly what happened. I don’t have this part on video, but I remember it because I was still a little conscious. My cousin and the other guy came and picked me up, and took me to the car and it was so wobbly bro At the car, I had vomit all over my shirt and my pants so I needed to get changed. But I didn’t wanna get up cause of how drunk I was. I would just argue nonstop about not wanting to get out of the car to change, cause of how drunk I was I’m drunk, goodnight. “The puke.” I am It’s not somebody wanna admit that I am, goodnight Alright you fuck, come on. Let’s go Well that’s just how it is. If we go, we go 15 minutes. Like if we go, we go The reason my girlfriend’s the one that I definitely wanna marry is because of small gestures like this. It’s a small time ass right now, but she stayed in the car for me while I slept and everybody else went to party and she just stayed there while waiting for me to wake up and get changed Alright, why you have to get out? You don’t have to get out. “Because, because I’m fat, I’m short, please.” You have 15 minutes. I took 30 seconds. “Fuck let me go. Hurry!” If you’re over 21 and you drink, you as possibly it’s never responsible Of course, don’t follow my example. “Love you more baby.” When I’m drunk, I remember you were going… “I know you told me.” Here’s what I can conclude from my experimentation. Even when I’m drunk, I still know that my girlfriend’s still clean and I still know that I love her to death When you’re drunk, alcohol hits you very very slowly. Your eyes start malfunctioning, and it feels like you’re high and you can’t feel your legs It feels like the amount of power regulated from the brain going to your body just malfunctions completely. It’s like there’s no filter to regulate how much strength goes into your hand when you grab something while you’re drunk, which explains why I get so loud when I speak cause I don’t know how loud I really am when I’m drunk. I just can’t feel my voice, or my mouth, or any part of my body as if I’m under massive anesthetics, and we throw up Jesus Christ God bless you and god have mercy on your soul. It honestly feels like you’re drowning in your own vomit and you can’t do anything about it. You just wanna die At this point of the vlog, we went to a gas station that my girlfriend drove up to, so she can get some shuteye because she didn’t think I was going to sober up. Afterwards, I went barefoot into a gas station and I realized that I soiled myself so I had to change completely After 2 hours of driving, I decided that I was sober enough to drive, so I started driving home They really took care of me right now my nigga, fuck My girlfriend took care of me the most. That’s how you know I’m gonna marry her
I gotta go wash clothes right now. But we made it back. And even after all that drunken adventure, I still had to wash clothes and do chores With my birthday being super close now, what the hell is gonna top this? Right now we’re fucking cleaning this car. Cause I’m a nasty ass nigga I love you It smells like dead fish. Worse than any of this pussy or dick (cries) Ayo G I fucked up, I fucked up, I fucked up. Why? I got blacked out drunk. Ahh! So.. today is uhh the 27th. We are one day away from my birthday and today we gotta go wash this goddamn car Why is there a car wash in the middle of the ocean? “That is a good question.” “Let’s go there.” So today, after this whole aftermath with me being drunk as hell, we had to go to an emergency car wash because we had to wash the smell out of this car before I gave it back the day I left This nigga “details” smiley face look, smiley face! At the car wash, they tell you that they are not responsible for specifically, Dodge Challengers and Mustangs. And I guess it has to do with how wide these cars are, cause at some point, some of the mirrors is bent over. Last night, my dumbass accidentally threw up in the backseat of the car, so I had to pay a little extra to get that back seat water vacuumed and cleaned Once all of that was said and done, it still smelled like shit But at least it was clean and the total came out to like $45 I don’t care about whatever we’re celebrating, I am never drinking that much ever again Then afterwards, we went to Chili’s to have some dinner and I found another exotic car. Then afterwards, we went to Guitar Center to find more exotic guitars Una loca, una loca, una loca. Out of the way. “Out of the way now! Ahh!” Today was pretty chill because all we really wanted to do was just chill out for what happened last night at Miami and just like clean the car We’re back at the hotel and the camera cut off when we were having a nice conversation about sex Here’s what I gotta say. Okay? Sex… “WEAR CONDOMS!” Yes wear condoms First off, always wear a condom before you get herpes Second, don’t fall for the casual sex thing That shit is a bigger trap than child support and alimony If you need casual sex, then you should get into witchcraft. You’ll be doing much more productive shit trying to summon your personal elf than trying to convince yourself that casual sex is an important part of life. Because it’s not, that’s why God gave us toys or whoever invented toys Second of all, if you get into a long-term relationship and you plan on getting married, ask yourself this question. Can you go two years without having sex? If the answer is yes, then you’re ready for marriage Because there’s gonna be days where your PH balance is gonna be so unbalanced that it’s gonna feel like me on a scale without shoes. And honestly marriage isn’t supposed to be about having sex everyday It’s supposed to be about building together, being stronger together, so stop with that horny shit It’s better to go 100 days and 100 beautiful adventures where you learn more about each other, than going 100 days in a motel room. But although I’ve said all of that about relationships and how sex isn’t supposed to be the most important thing, it’s still important So make sure you have it. And if there’s something wrong where your lady friend doesn’t wanna give it to you for like 3 years or 4 years and the fire burns out, get the fuck out of there, abandon ship as soon as possible Because at the end of the day, if you keep working hard for something that’s not appreciating you, then you’re just wasting your time you fucking simp We got hungry again like the fatasses we are, so we decided to order some dessert from Chili’s out of all places What ended up happening was that they didn’t have what we wanted, so we ordered something different from Chili’s and this one guy texted us and my girlfriend said hey, you should respond with this While she was waiting at the peephole because I made her pick up the order for me, this is how the exchange went One second. “Thank you.” Thank you have a nice night That was the most awkward exchange of the food in American courtesy that I’ve ever seen in my life I hope we made his night because he got called Daddy by a hot redhead. Also known as Dora the dog in the sheets I think he got a little mad because one of the cheesecakes came out fucked up Honestly even the most boring days, we figure out a way to make it really funny Mi reina. “You’re crazy.” Hello amigos, today is my birthday. Today is the 28th of September. I have three more days until I go back home. I don’t wanna go home babe (whimper) I’m starting to notice that every time it hits my birthday, it gets more and more depressing the way I say it All I had for breakfast right now is fucking juice And that’s it Just juice. Nothing’s worse than when you wake up on an empty stomach and you feel hungry as hell. And then you take one good breath of air and now you feel fat as fuck. So today we had very interesting things planned First thing on the list, get everyone in the car and head to Disney Animal Kingdom. As you noticed, it’s raining. I have no idea if this is a bad omen for my birthday or not, but this is a great way to start off my birthday You know the usual get your temperature checked and it feels like you’re hot as fuck if you’re 97 degrees Damn babe, you hot. You 97 degrees Yeah, I’m from Cali I’m in the jungle babe I’m in the jungle. You know the one thing I love about theme parks is that they’re big The one thing I hate about theme parks is that they’re a little too big. If you’re one of the unfortunate souls that had to live in Florida, and you know what it is to go through the lines here. Even during COVID, the lines are over an hour long wait. That’s why Florida’s the retirement state cause you gotta be over 60 and have nothing else to do with your life to be waiting for these lines Also look, Rust PTSD This episode is brought to you by Jesus Christ
Because without Jesus Christ, you probably wouldn’t be alive right now Also look it’s Pumba! I wonder if we can find the rest of the Lion King characters. I don’t know what the name of these rides are actually called specifically for each one of them that we went on, and I’m too lazy to go online and research them. I also find it ironic that they call the wildlife reserve Harambe, even before the gorilla died. But anyways, we went on this ride that drives us around the wildlife reserve so that we can see all the animals Over there, the hyena back there with the bamboo, you’ll see an old copy This just in, I was told that this ride is called the Kilimanjaro safari exploration thingy. And over here we get to see flamingos, rhinos, giraffes, zebras, the nigga who killed Mufasa, cheetahs and lions, alligators, my brothers, the elephants, they even have dragons And human, but humans are really expensive cars (laughs) Yo this one’s smiling over there I found the tree of life, we can stop Madara and his plan Then afterwards we went to this one called River Rapids or some shit like that. Don’t mind me on these names, my sources are kinda messed up right now It’s almost like the same thing as the Thunder Canyon in Dorney Park except it’s a little smaller and it actually has a big drop Turn turn turn turn turn! Turn! I’m a dog too No no no no no! Holy moly goddamn! Hey Oh no nooooo nooo! We got lucky, goddamn! Ahhh cono! We got more lucky this time! “Yeah!” (laughs) Using evercharge to fly this way was all figured out by my boss Dr. Jackie Ogden Well apparently Jackie completely that there are people with bigger legs than their goddamn bodies because legit after waiting 45 minutes on the line for this ride, I couldn’t fit no not because of my stomach, but because of my legs! Curse these legs! At least it gave us a fast pass for the rest of the day, even though we only used it once Aye! Aye! How are you doing you Trash Panda? Ohh This shit is like baseballs falling on your head, they’re just so heavy You know what’s the best part about most of these Disney rides is the fact that 90% of the time when you’re on them, you’re gonna say this I can’t see shit! I can’t see shit! After not being able to see anything in that ride, we just decided to go on the final ride, which is actually a theater show We got to see it’s tough to be a bug We are proud to present, it’s tough to be a bug. “Ay!” Okay, I’ll be a nice little fella. You’re done now “Huh?” Find, find that. Off to the, yes thank you Oh my gosh Take it from the champ, it’s tough to be a bug Aside from all the rides that you recently just saw, there’s a bunch of other stuff I really couldn’t show you that imma show you right now that these amazing beautiful photos of animals and tigers and dogs and cats and humans that really wanted to show the rest of this planet Another part once the celebration is over, we decided to go to Boi Brazil again so we can stuff ourselves like the fatasses we are, right babe? “Yes!” I’m so fuckin bloated right now, it’s not even fuckin funny! Oh shit look a coat I’m not gonna lie to you, I’m actually a little disappointed that I went to Boi Brazil instead of here Forreal You’re telling me that I could’ve had the opportunity to see a bunch of well dressed human beings and a bunch of fireworks blowing in my face at my own cake Afterwards we decided to go to Icon Park for the very last thing to do with my birthday I wanted to recreate that beautiful famous photo that we have on Instagram and see if we could do it again in full HD. Babe if you’re listening to this, I want to tell you thank you for the birthday celebration, I had a really great time feeling like a princess You know what they say. All good things eventually must come to an end Because I’m so mad that I lost my GoPro Yes they are open. But it looks like they are not open. “I can’t tell.” I cannot tell either I’m gonna explain the last part soon but here’s what happened afterwards after my birthday. There’s this coffee shop that’s legit just called coffee. Even before the June Florida novela, we planned to go to this coffee shop that opened around her area And I guess because things are crazy from right off the bat, we completely forgot about the small dates like a coffee shop and a movie theater
You’ll remember that forever? “I’ll never forget it.” I ended up getting a coffee that’s mixed with banana and it tastes so amazing. Afterwards, if you remember the episode 3 of the Florida novela when I met her parents, we decided to come here afterwards on that same day We tried to revisit this location and explain what happened that wasn’t on video. Basically, the reason we didn’t have most of what happened on video was because she was uncomfortable because we just first met physically and afterwards, we started having this anime moment where we were dancing in the middle. And we just kept staring into each other’s eyes. And then we stayed in opposite directions of each other and started walking around in a circle It felt so anime like it wasn’t even funny. I even did the glasses thing I also love how in a relationship, they say that the man doesn’t know how to take a picture of the girl but the girl knows how to take a picture of the man. I guess I’m the girl in this relationship So we’re up against a master thief Assassin (laughs) You felt that? “There’s one just drive.” The final thing we did today on the 29th of September that’s also known as a cheap date Which I don’t think it’s cheap because it was $22 per ticket for this movie theater We went to this 4D IMAX movie theater which basically the chairs were moved, there was gonna be water that squirts in your face, it had the air that blows into your head, it has air that shoots up to the size of your neck, sometimes it’s even sense in lighting effects That was water. I guess you can say after so many times of going back and forth from Jersey to Florida, we finally get to do a cheap nice formal date Today is Wednesday the 30th of September. I still got a fucking pizza stain on me from the alcohol on Tuesday Today is my last day. I packed all my shit in this army bag so people can believe that I’m from the army when I retired and got fat Babe, babe I love you! The worst part about this whole is having to explain how I lost my GoPro. So first thing’s first, having to pack up for this entire thing is one of the most annoying things in the world because sometimes I’ll leave shit behind like the case for my phone like last time Yeah we’re leaving fucking mad liquor over there what the fuck If you saw the, the liquor that we were drinking that we bought to get drunk. I bought too much, so some Mexican over here is gonna definitely get an amazing parting gift to this hotel my nigga Just cleaning and shit from my room, they’re getting alcohol and they’re getting it for days Wack You know I don’t think the engine dome is super massive sports car, it’s really that big Bye motel. Peace out! Afterwards we went to Dave and Busters with her brother and her brother’s friend. It’s safe to say we’re all gamers here (laughs) I got 1000, I finally got my 1000 If you’re wondering what the hell we got with 12,000 tickets, my girlfriend got herself a giant duffle bag and I got myself a cat light. And unfortunately it does not go meow, but at least it changes colors At the end of the day, we went to go eat at Chick-Fil-A which was actually my first time and I ended up telling her that my name was Jumanji. My girlfriend ended up marking her territory because she doesn’t want any jersey hoes to come after me, even though they don’t cause I’m ugly So let me explain to you the entire story of how the hell I lost my GoPro, okay? With random pictures that have nothing to do with the story. So basically while I was being a very very emotional dog and I really didn’t wanna leave yet. I left my girlfriend’s place to go to the airport a little later than I should’ve. That’s not even the problem, I left at 5:00pm and the doors close at 6:40pm. That’s nearly 2 hours to get to the airport and get checked in and everything while she lives like 38 minutes away from it and keep in mind, I’m really low on gas I have to refuel and if I don’t and I hand in the car, they’re gonna charge me up the ass with like the most expensive gas that they could find. So I found gas for like $1.86 a gallon and it was full and for some reason, they didn’t accept my credit card so I spent 30 minutes waiting for nothing So I went to the other gas station which was like $2.09, and then I resumed driving towards the airport which was like 10 minutes away from where I was refueling. I legit missed the exit to leave the car rental so I had to drive around the airport twice. I remember arriving at the airport around 6:15 and so I got everything ready and I got off the car and for some reason my dumbass decided to take the GoPro out of the case that it was in Usually I always do this because I don’t wanna seem obnoxious with a giant tripod and a GoPro camera. You have any idea how annoying it is when you have a camera and everybody thinks that they’re the star of the show (coughs) Like teenage white boys. But because I was in a rush, I threw out a bunch of trash that was in my car because sometimes for some reason people think it’s a great idea to dump everything in my car. I realize why most guys hate it when you eat in their car I threw out the trash while I had the GoPro in my hand. And I think in some point in that event, I dropped the GoPro in the trash can The moment I found out was when I had my big ass bag on me and my backpack and I started getting close to my terminal and then I realized OH SHIT where is my camera? So I had to make a decision whether to just abandon or go back and try to find it? I went back to try to find it. I legit looked everywhere in that car, they even brought back the car for me to find it and I went to look in the trash can and threw the water bottle, I couldn’t find it and the reason I couldn’t find it was because I was in such a rush because the doors were gonna close at 6:40 and once the doors close you can’t go in that flight It was about like 6:25 when I decided to just call it quits and go to my terminal. So I spent like 10 minutes trying to find the camera and then I had to just give up I was not missing my flight back home, I had no money to stay anymore. I used up all my funds. Nobody told me a girlfriend was goddamn expensive Once I went through airport security and shit and I went through the monorail that you’re usually used to, it was 3:37, 3:38 and I had to run to my terminal and I was there one minute before they closed Even the guy that lets you in the plane was like “damn, that was close.”
On the ride home, I decided to do a lost and found form for these guys to see if they can find it to this day, they haven’t found shit Good thing I got a brand new GoPro waiting for me at home Come out, Come out! Calm down! Come out Come out Come out, come out Ay! Ay! Don’t be black! It’s quite lonely in here without you For some reason, everytime I come home from one of these trips something bad has to happen to me with my car Last time I came back from one of these trips, I had my car towed out of the blue. So now another red flag happened and both of my tires need to be changed from the rear. Because one of them is leaking air from its valve, and the other one is too old so I might as well just change both With the alignment and the goddamn inspection that I had to renew, the whole thing cost me like 600 bucks Mom. “Ah!! Hi hi! Mijo mijo…”