The Jester is King | Rajiv Satyal | Talks at Google

RAJIV SATYAL: I’m Indian, just Indian I’m not South Asian any more than Russians are North Asian I’m not Asian Indian or East Indian There are 1.3 billion of us We don’t need a cardinal direction, OK? It’s not our fault that Christopher Columbus got lost Sure, we love our states, but there’s strength in numbers One out of every six human beings is Indian, so stop dividing us The British already did that once And we need to quit saying that we’re not Indian because I wasn’t born here, or sound like this, or eat that Our hearts are Indian We are feelers We gave the world the romance of Bollywood films and the music of Ravi Shankar and Zubin Mehta and Lata Mangeshkar and Asha Bhosle and the allure of the “Kama Sutra.” We are thinkers We are great at math because we invented numbers And we’re pretty good at letters too We are doctors and engineers and techies And we mean business We’re the world’s third largest economy and the wealthiest ethnic group in America We are huge and efficient India is all on one time zone That way, everybody in the country is still late, but at the same time We never invade anyone because we already have everything Chess, the ruler, the button, wireless communication, arranged marriage flush toilets, steel, democracy– all us, all India And you are welcome, world, for yoga, and elevating cricket into a multibillion-dollar sport, and making food so good that you sailed across the planet to come have some Our food is hot Our country is hot Our women are hot Our men are– lucky Where the world prays, we meditate We practically invented religious tolerance And we gave you Mahatma Gandhi and pundits and gurus and karma and dharma and kismet and reincarnation The motherland is magical and mystical And no matter who you are, you can find yourself here, in incredible India [SPEAKING HINDI]– I am Indian [MUSIC PLAYING] [APPLAUSE] And I’m late Told you I was Indian It’s an honor to be here at Google I actually got a degree in materials engineering That was the big thing That’s how I prepped for comedy, I got a degree in materials engineering I was going to work in wafer fab I was going to be a wafer fabrication engineer in the Silicon Valley And until today, February 19, 2016, I have disappointed my parents But today, I’m working in the Silicon Valley So here I am So I guess, finally, my parents can be proud that I’m actually here in the Silicon Valley with you like a good Indian It’s a lot of Indians here today, which is mostly– token white guy OK Right, in the front row– it’s still your country, don’t worry That’s great It still works out, so no problem with that No need to take the country back OK I’m actually giving TED X talk in a couple of weeks And so people have been asking me– friends, they’re saying, oh, you’re speaking at Google You’re giving a talk at Google Are you practicing? You don’t come to Google to practice This is the Super Bowl, OK So this is the highlight of my year so far, but it’s only, what, 50 days old, so not a problem But I’m here to give a speech and break down that video that you saw How many people, by round of applause, have seen that video? How many people have seen it? OK You can clap It’s OK Let’s get some energy going in here It’s Friday How many people have not seen it, by round of applause? I guess it’s a weird thing to applaud for But yeah, that’s fine I’m glad that if we hadn’t seen it, we wish we wouldn’t have seen it But no, I’m glad that a lot of you had seen it Some of you hadn’t So that’s very cool But I’m going to explain, I think, to some extent, why that video worked, and also tell you a little about humor, about stand-up, about jokes And I want to make it interactive So if you have questions or if you are bored– well, if you’re bored, just leave, I guess But if you have questions, just feel free to put your hand up or shout something out I think that’s always a good thing to be able to do It’s odd, though, to talk about why something worked as a stand-up comedian, because normally, we talk about our failures We don’t really talk about our successes, because failure is funny You know I mean? It’s funny to watch somebody fail That’s why we have fail blogs and hashtag fail and everything It’s a lot funnier If I just get up here and tell you, and that’s how I got the girl back to my apartment and I hooked up with her, OK, [INAUDIBLE] That’s not really a funny story, that’s just somebody bragging I do want to talk about jokes I do live in the Valley And I don’t know how many people saw “Clueless.” This movie’s now 20 years old, which is crazy for me to think Somebody’s nodding back there OK, good So– which is why, up here, I have to speak like an adult, because I live in the Valley Normally we tend to go up at the end of our sentences We all kind of talk like this down in LA And I know, in San Francisco, you don’t like LA

So as long as I make fun of LA, I think I’m going to do pretty well But I realize that some of my friends, they’re cool I’m not a cool guy I’ve never been a cool guy Some of my friends, they’ll develop cool phrases They’ll say, yeah, let’s all turn up, yo Let’s all turn up That’s a good look I want to talk like that, but it just doesn’t come out of my mouth like that I always pick up the annoying phrases I think she’s already leaving OK, fine But I always pick them up Because a friend of mine in the Valley, she always says, “right.” She’s one of these women who always says “right” at the end of her sentences Or whenever somebody gets finished speaking, she’ll go, “anyway,” which is such a beautifully condescending way of speaking It’s so great I mean, somebody will say, “and that’s why I’m voting for Donald Trump”– “anyway.” It’s just such a great thing to say It’s amazing But I noticed I had to stop saying the word “like.” I was saying “like” constantly And I realized I had a problem when I said it three times in a row OK? So I actually said, “Like like like?” as a question And some of you understand that, which is sad We have a problem– it’s an epidemic in this country– of likes, too many likes And I think I’m not at Facebook, so I should stop saying “like.” But the point being– I think you can like things on YouTube too, right? But I realized this Actually, on our way here, we were driving and I saw a guy hitchhiking I thought he was giving me a like So it was one of those things So it does actually happen, I guess, here But no, a friend of mine was trying to ascertain whether I was fond of a certain girl And so to distinguish between liking her as a friend and like liking her as someone more than a friend, I said to him– I asked the question– “Like like like?” That’s when I realized I have a problem Ouch You don’t want to say “like like like” three times in a row Anyway, the point being, that I’m going to talk about jokes and where you might find them in society They appear in different places and they’re more ubiquitous than you might imagine There’s a dollar word for you You can right-click that one So I’m going to break down humor, stand-up, jokes, and lessons from I am Indian Let’s see how far I get I have a lot of content here, but I’m going to treat this like my dates– I’m just going to see how far I can get That’s supposed be a joke All right, so let’s start with humor The job of a comedian is to make people laugh It is the simplest job in society It’s not the easiest, but it’s the simplest It’s just three words If you also want to say something else, that’s great There are comedians who say funny things and there are comedians who say things funny And they are sort of two different things if you have to explain why a comedian is funny We showed a little clip of Russell there inadvertently But sometimes you may say, why is he funny Ah, I don’t know He’s just funny He’s just funny The way he is, he’s just funny But what does it mean? So we’ve got to break that down a little bit I don’t remember if it was Chris Rock or I who said this– I get us mixed up all the time– but it was really– the goal was to make people laugh in the room and think on the way home That was really the thing You don’t want people to think while you’re here Otherwise– there’s no sound to thinking, right? So I want you to laugh in the room and think on the way home That’s always a big thing for us And so not all comedians are what we would call social commentators Some people are just there to get a laugh and other people want to say something more than something funny If we go back to medieval times, there was something called a court jester Round of applause– how many people have heard of a court jester? How many people have at least heard of this concept? OK, that’s good You can clap, that’s fine– or raise your hand Either one is OK Does anyone know the role of the court jester? Does anyone know what the purpose of the court jester was? Yes Yes, perfect, to point out the absurdities of society, of what’s going on around them Also, it was to convey messages to the king without fear of being beheaded– that was a big thing– without fear of retribution That was a really important message or thing for him to be able to do, to convey messages to the king Today, we have multiple kings We’ve got the president, sure The president can be sort of a king But we also have the media We have the pope– unless, again, you’re Donald Trump He’s going to be a consistent punch line for me, I think, this time– the pope We have corporate America and all of these things that do exist But one by one, through one scandal or another, it seems like we’ve lost our kings If you go all the way back to Richard Nixon and Watergate and the Vietnam War, the government lost a lot of credibility here in this country And I have to– in America We have so many Indians here I need to make sure that we say in America The government here lost a lot of credibility Brian Williams, right? He lost his job for lying And there was a joke going around that he had– he was joking about the– or he was actually talking about being involved with the Iraq War and is the only person who lost his job from lying

about the Iraq War Right? So that was a joke that was going around– it was kind of unfair– that he sort of exaggerated a little bit, he lost his job And so the media has– especially with the rise of talk radio, Fox News, the liberal media, nobody really knows where to get facts from anymore I don’t know how many people saw the movie “Spotlight.” I’d ask you to clap, but it’s not really the kind of movie you clap for But it pointed out the scandals in the Catholic church And so the churches have lost a lot of credibility We look at violent extremism with Islam and things like that That’s not to impugn a religion, but people now are very scared to talk about religion Whether it’s Catholicism, Islam, Hinduism, Christianity, anything, people are on edge And it’s lost some credibility as well In 2008, we had the financial crisis, right? By round of applause, how many people were in the country in 2008? How many people were here in 2008? OK, so quite a few people were here And anyone here, were you working at Google? Anyone still here at Google? OK, so few of us were– not us, but today I’m working at Google So not getting paid, but whatever, that’s not the point We’re not keeping track No one’s bitter The point is that in 2008, the economy fell apart and people lost faith in capitalism, in the mores of society, and what this country is built on And it’s kind of funny, because I was pre-med for a while I was, like I said, an engineer But I was pre-med Now I’m post-med I just skipped the med party, really, altogether That’s where the work was, so I did that And that was back in ’94 I’m going to turn 40 soon, so I’m a little older than– well, maybe I’m younger than you thought Who knows? I don’t know My parents really wanted me to be a doctor After that, I decided to get out of that And the Clintons sort of tinkered with the health care system Doctors were not making as much money And so I that’s when I went into the wafer fab and semiconductors and P-N junctions and I was going to do that And then the dot com bust happened in 2000 That was my senior year in college And that fell apart And then I decided, you know what, maybe I’ll go into finance And then in 2008, that whole thing fell apart So suddenly, becoming a comedian did not look so risky My parents said, go ahead, be comedian It’s fine So all of a sudden, it was not such a bad idea at this point in time to just go ahead with that And so after all the kings have been slain, maybe the jester is the last one standing I went to a friend of mine’s to get the picture, so that was at least good But you can see that I’m a jester in that, as a comedian, but I’ve stolen a king’s crown so to speak Many, many people make arguments, right? After all, stand-up comedy, a lot of the time, is really just kind of a funny argument We’re trying to get you to see our point of view But lots of people make arguments, right? We’ve got the president– you’re going to see Obama a lot in this presentation as well– Obama as the president We have preachers who make arguments all the time or make, of course, sermons Columnists, when they write anything you read, it tends to be an argument to get you over to that point of view And then you have CEOs who, of course, get up there and try to get people to invest in the company And I love the profile I don’t know who wrote it, but “This is most famous CEO of World.” So he’s not just the CEO of Google, he’s the CEO of the world OK? So I didn’t know if you knew earth has a CEO But I think as we discover more planets, we need to promote somebody And we thought, Google Earth, Google Maps, maybe this guy will be the one So “This 43 years old man is Google’s CEO.” So he’s been demoted in his own bio, I guess, evidently “His full name is Pichai Sundara–” words of South Indians Who can read this? AUDIENCE: Sundararajan RAJIV SATYAL: Sundararajan, OK, thank you, with an American accent at that, too You really showed me up– born in Tamil Nadu in India Which, I love how it puts it in parentheses in case you didn’t know were Tamil Nadu is, but maybe some people don’t But now it’s kind of old news that people are getting their news not just from traditional media We’re getting it from “The Daily Show.” People will tell you that they don’t just go to watch Trevor Noah or John Oliver or Dennis Miller or Bill Maher for jokes A lot of the shows are– they’re kind of serious I mean, there are laughs, sure But a lot of times, it’s serious So we’re getting that and we’re seeing that people are getting their news that way If you doubt the power of a joke– some of you will know this man and some of you won’t His name is Hannibal Buress And Hannibal Buress is the one who told the joke about Bill Cosby, which led to Bill Cosby’s now being indicted And he is going to go to court Hannibal Buress He made a joke And in fact, several women had come forth to talk about Bill Cosby Their concerns were not taken seriously, which is a horrible thing in society And it took a stand-up comic– and some people point out, a black man stand-up comic– to say and make the joke about Bill Cosby And he even said, well Bill Cosby, yeah, but you raped women And he said this in a stand-up act and it got laughs, but it led to the investigation of Bill Cosby This was a joke that revealed the truth

and really kind of a scary thing But I think that’s what’s really great about stand-up comedy is nobody is bigger than the field No matter how big a stand-up comic gets, the person is still a subset of humor Right? If you look at Michael Jordan, he transcended basketball He was bigger than basketball There were people in Africa, there are certainly people in India, there are certainly people in Australia that didn’t follow the NBA They didn’t really follow the Chicago Bulls But almost everybody knew who Michael Jordan was Barack Obama– again, somebody who transcended politics talking about hope and change But nobody transcends humor And I think that was sort of what’s great about stand-up comedy is we use it to expose the truth And that’s the idea, even if it’s about other stand-up comedians And in that case, Hannibal Buress doing a joke about Bill Cosby, we even eat our own I think that’s a good thing, which is probably why his name is Hannibal I worked hard on that slide, so I need you to probably laugh harder But anyway, the point is that– no Recently– and you’ll appreciate this– Facebook board member Marc Andreessen, he tweeted I’m sure a lot of people in this room have followed this story His tweet, again, Donald Trump-like in nature It got more and more out of control until he finally tweeted “Anti-colonialism has been economically catastrophic for the Indian people for decades Why stop now?” That was supposed to be a joke And you hear how hard you’re laughing? Yeah, right, not at all Nobody was laughing on Twitter Nobody was laughing about this joke that apparently was made But it revealed– a lot of people think– Facebook’s intentions, or a lot of companies intentions, to go and have this colonial approach to what they still see as a third world country And so that was a joke that was not funny, but a lot of people think it revealed the truth So there should be no doubt that jokes are very, very powerful and they can work to our benefit or to our detriment Some good examples– a lot of people, I’m sure, know Tina Fey She and Amy Poehler hosted the Golden Globes in 2015, which they’ve done a few times One of her best jokes was when George Clooney was in the audience and he had his wife Amal there with him And Tina Fey clowned him by saying, “Amal, his wife, is a human rights lawyer who worked on the Enron case, was an advisor to Kofi Annan regarding Syria, and was selected for a three-person UN commission investigating rules of war violations in the Gaza Strip So tonight, her husband is getting a Lifetime Achievement Award.” Right? So exactly, it was a really, really funny moment And it really kind of threw men under the bus It threw actors under the bus What are we worshipping in society that she is so accomplished? What does a person have to do to get recognition? And George Clooney is the one getting all the good looks there So that was a great example There’s something called the White House correspondents’ dinner that happens every year And Stephen Colbert, in 2006, roasted George W. Bush by saying, “Now I know that there are some polls out there saying that this man–” and he points to George W. Bush– “has a 32% approval rating But guys like us, we don’t pay attention to the polls We know that polls are a collection of statistics that reflect what people are thinking ‘in reality.’ And reality, as we all know, has a well-known liberal bias.” Right? So it really roasted George W. Bush and said, you know what, we’re going to point out something that’s true that you may not be acknowledging Still one of my favorites and my favorite comedian of all time, Chris Rock, a great example when he said, “You don’t need no gun control You know what you need? We need some bullet control We need to control the bullets That’s right I think all bullets should cost $5000, $5000 for a bullet You know why? ‘Cause if a bullet cost $5000, there would be no more innocent bystanders.” Right? And so he does this whole bit about how people would be a lot more careful They would shoot somebody to take the bullet back, because it was still their property So it was a really good example of a problem A lot of people watched that and they went, yeah, why don’t we do that That’s actually a really good solution That was in 1999 Then if you go all the way back to 1989, I don’t know how many people saw the movie “When Harry Met Sally.” This is Billy Crystal from that movie We couldn’t use the image from the movie because all these images are approved We did the right thing We did not go after copyrighted images So we had to get one when he’s– too old to sue us? I don’t know what it is really If you remember the– I’ll get sued for that though But there’s a point in “When Harry Met Sally” when he’s talking, when Harry is talking to Sally And he just says– they’re walking along the streets in New York And he says, “Really, but what’s so hard about finding an apartment? What you do is you look in the obituary section You see who died, find out where they lived, and tip the doorman What they could do to make it easier is combine the two You know, Mr. Klein died yesterday leaving behind a wife, two children, and a spacious three-bedroom apartment

with a wood burning fireplace.” So we watch that and go, yeah, they should do that, especially here in San Francisco You could really use that, I think, in the Bay Area With prices going out of control, maybe this would be a good thing to have So it’s examples of comedians telling jokes but revealing solutions, revealing truths, and things that are a little bit deeper This phenomenon of using humor and truth is not surprising, because they’re very closely related Mary Poppins– and no presentation is complete by a nearly 40-year-old man without using Mary Poppins in it– Mary Poppins once sang a song that said a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down And I think that medicine is truth and the sugar is the humor So in every speech, you try to think about what your bumper sticker would be So that would be my bumper sticker, “Humor is the spoonful of sugar that helps the medicine of truth go down.” I hope you don’t drive a Prius, it’s not going to fit So I was trying to get it down a little bit shorter than that as short as I am, but it didn’t really happen But I think that’s sort of the thrust of my speech overall in the idea that we can use humor to get across the truth And again, this is not a new idea Dick Clark, in 1959, he said, “Humor is always based on the modicum of truth Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?” Right? So he’s starting to get across the idea of that You go back to 1884 with Nietzsche even saying, “We should call every truth false which is not accompanied by at least one laugh.” And we can go 500 years before that to Geoffrey Chaucer And he wrote, “Many a true word is spoken in jest.” So using humor to convey truth makes a lot of sense In fact, a lot of businesses– it’s not really a– well, I guess politics is a business, but we just like this picture, four living presidents at the time– a lot of businesses are using comedians now They’re using improvisers, using writers to warm up the audience or get people to brainstorm and play games and all that sort of thing And it’s great It’s a great idea But we’re also using stand-up comedians And stand-up comedians are a little bit different because we’re actually saying something I’m not saying that improvisers and writers are not trying to, but– wait, no, that is completely what I’m saying Stand-up comedians are better than improvisers and writers because we actually have to come up with it in advance Improv is sort of impressive that they came up with anything But stand-up comedy sometimes, if it’s just a blank room, they’re just looking at you going, you’ve had six months to come up with this and this is what you’re telling us So it’s a level of expectations game So I actually have a business where we hire stand-up comedians to help marketers generate insights for their brands No big deal, it’s just really, really successful It doesn’t matter The point is that we actually had a comedian come in– not Jerry Seinfeld But Jerry Seinfeld made a movie called “Comedian.” And if you’re interested in this sort of topic– I see some of you nodding– this movie was really something else Because it’s a documentary And the tagline for it is “Where does comedy come from?” Did you see it? Yeah, really great movie Where does comedy come from? So he’s the main character in it, because he made it, just like I’m the main character in my own speech That’d be weird if I weren’t But there’s one other comedian in it and his name is Orny Adams We had Orny Adams fly out to a company I’m going to tell you which company, keep that part confidential But there was a part where the underlings at the company– I don’t think they went by those titles– they wanted to convey to the king, to the GM that they were not really big fans of the name of one of their products They had changed the name And so we had Orny Adams go on stage and just clown this brand He just gets up there and he goes, you took something that I understood, like Greek yogurt, and you changed it to Oikos What the hell is Oikos? And you could see the whole place go nuts And you could see the GM nod his head And we got the idea across to the king We used a stand-up comedian to get the truth across, because everyone underneath the GM was a little bit scared to convey that, so a real life example of how that can work I wanted to ask, do you think stand-up comedy is hard? Do you think it’s hard or easy? AUDIENCE: Hard RAJIV SATYAL: Hard Does anyone think it’s easy? OK You can’t say that, because otherwise I’ll have you come up and do it So it’s sort of a mixed matter, a stacked deck, I guess I’ll tell you why it is The whole idea with talks at Google is to break things down, right? So let me tell you why it’s difficult First of all, you can see us do it while we do it That’s odd I could ask anyone here, are you good at your job I could say, are you good at your job You’re going to say yes, right? Because I’m not going to see you do it So I’m going to go to assume you’re good, right? You can tell me all day long And you have multiple chances If you mess up on your spreadsheet or whatever, you could just fix it But I can’t do that You’re going to see me do it I can’t speak up here and then try to talk to someone after the show and say, I’m this really amazing comic We just saw you eat it for 45 minutes You suck Right? So you can see it happen

This is why I don’t understand doctors And maybe I’m just bitter because, like I said, I’m post-med But I don’t know what doctors do I don’t know what their job is, still It’s just totally– we’re staying with a couple of friends who– my friend [INAUDIBLE] is a doctor He’s an ophthalmologist And I just don’t really get what his job is, OK? I go to the doctor And first of all, you see the nurse The nurse does 90% of the doctor’s job OK? Right? You see the nurse first The nurse does blood pressure, weight Most of the stuff, you spend most of the time with the nurse I don’t if we have any people who were nurses or are Any Malayalis? OK They’re always nurses It’s true I’m glad you laughed Sometimes people grown Like, it’s not bad, I’m just saying You know? But I don’t know if they’re nurses or registered nurses The only people in society– I don’t understand a registered nurse I don’t get that They’re the only people in society who are registered Where’s this registry? I don’t get it Them and sex offenders, they’re the only people who registered, I guess You can grown on that one So the point is that the nurse does 90% of it Then the doctor comes in And I’ve never had an appointment with a doctor that lasts more than two minutes OK? It’s like a lot of things in my life, I guess But it’s two minutes long And it’s never a consecutive 120 seconds The doctor keeps leaving the room The person, he keeps getting up I don’t know, is he– what’s he doing? Does he not know the answer? Or is he looking up stuff on the Web MD? Or is he– I don’t know what Is he googling it? I don’t know what he’s doing What’s he doing? And then it’s his turn to headline It’s his turn to perform, to do surgery That’s the hardest part of a doctor’s job And then they knock us out We don’t even get to see them do it, right? They can mess up, whatever And they don’t even do it An anesthesiologist does that They don’t even do that Then they prescribe a pill and a pharmacist gives you the pill So I don’t know what a doctor does They’re general contractors, OK? I don’t think they have a job, really I think that they gather a bunch of people in a room They’re general contractors That’s their job That’s the difference there The second thing what’s difficult about stand-up is we come up with this whole thing ourselves Right? I have no one to blame up here I can’t say, well, Tonby, you wrote it No, obviously, I wrote it, I directed it, I produced it, I edited it So I get the credit or the blame depending Right? So that’s pretty great Although you get credit for turnout, so nice job on the Yeah, good work on that That’s really impressive The other weird thing about stand-up comedy is you don’t know the genre This is really weird If you ever hear someone go, let’s go to a stand-up comedy club, maybe you are specifically going to see Russell Peters, or Chris Rock, or Dave Chapelle, or Jerry Seinfeld But a lot of the time, people aren’t They just go to a comedy club And you have no idea If you go to a concert, it’s different, right? You know if it’s hip hop, or classical, or country, or if it’s EDM You know specifically what it is But that’s not true for stand-up Same thing with movies, you want to go to the movies Right? And it’s a big thing Is that a comedy? Is it a drama? Is it an action? You get up in the stand-up comic, he could be clean, could be dirty, could be sarcastic, could be ironic, could be slapstick All these different things, you have no clue So the audience usually has no idea what you’re about to do A lot of my friends in LA are actors We shot this I was very proud of it Rajiv, left to his own devices– I’m on my phone It’s brilliant Anyway, the point being that a lot of my friends in LA are actors And it’s almost funny, because it’s very popular to say that I’m great at drama I’m a great dramatic actor or actress, but I’m really bad at comedy And to me, it always sounds like a cop-out Because drama, there’s no measurement Right? In comedy, there are metrics You can count the laughs So I think that’s what’s different about it is if you don’t get laughs, then it wasn’t funny Right? And that’s true even with going to a concert Like I’m saying, if you go to a jazz concert– I don’t know how many people have been to a jazz concert, right– no one knows what’s going on You don’t know if it’s good or bad You just try to act like you know It’s like drinking wine up here in wine country It’s good, so good I don’t know I have no concept No one knows No one knows if it’s good, but you have to act It’s like the emperor’s new clothes That’s how the kings are getting slain, I guess But it’s true And a lot of people have walked out of a jazz concert and gone, I guess that guy was good I mean, yeah, people were clapping But no one’s ever walked out of a comedy show and gone, that guy was hilarious, but I didn’t laugh Right? No one has ever done that, right? If you laughed, it’s funny If you didn’t, it’s not We have to watch what we say This man, Michael Richards, known as Kramer– some of you are nodding and laughing and maybe groaning– but he got in trouble at the Laugh Factory I was actually on that stage on a Tuesday and this happened on a Friday, three days after I performed Hopefully I didn’t jinx the stage or anything like that But he got up there and he said some really, really horrible, racist stuff And that was the end of his career And so I think what’s really scary for us is, anything we say, especially with society being really touchy as it’s gotten, it’s not just that I could walk the room, I could tell a really bad joke, and you could all just leave But in this day and age– and this is on YouTube and all those sorts of things being taped for YouTube– you can lose your career It could be over If you say something really, really awful that people just kind of get horribly offended by, you can lose your career So that’s another reason it’s scary And finally, a lot of people love to ask, do you practice in front of a mirror It’s a question I get all the time

People go, do you practice in front of the mirror And no, I don’t I don’t practice in front of a mirror, because practicing in front of a mirror is like walking It’s easy to do Anybody could just walk on the sidewalk, right? Well, not anyone– there are some people that can’t But a lot of people can, OK? Babies– that’s what I was going to say But if you look at public speaking, we’ve all done this We all have to speak publicly, right? And you ran it at home and it went so well You ran it in the car You had a joke or you had something you were going to do And then you tell it to people and nothing, right, just nothing And you go, what happened It’s because when you get in front of people, it’s like you’re on a balancing beam The audience is the height All of a sudden, there’s a consequence You ever think that? You see a ledge, you go, well, if the ledge were on the ground, I could walk it You can walk on a straight line But it’s very hard to walk if it’s up in the air Why? Because there’s consequences You could fall You could hurt yourself And if that’s public speaking, then stand-up comedy is walking a tight rope OK? It is a completely different game, because this is dangerous This looks really scary I don’t know if this person has a net under him or her or not, but this looks really scary And what’s hard about this also, there are outside elements OK? So the outside elements and whether this person is going to do this, you’ve got the rope element as well With a balance beam, right, you’re in one place It’s not going to move You may move This, you’re moving and the balance beam slash rope is moving So that’s the element of timing And that’s what’s so difficult So practicing in front of a mirror does nothing The audience is going to laugh It’s you You can laugh and see the audience laugh It’s a mirror, right? So it’s not really that hard to do I think I do want to talk a little bit about jokes At their core, jokes are one, two, four That’s what a joke is at it’s most basic, meaning that when you saw me going one, two, you thought maybe I was going to say three and I said four You can now look at it and go, oh, you we’re doubling the numbers That’s what you were doing And that’s what a joke is, right? After the person tells the punch line, you go, oh yeah, OK, I should’ve been able to figure that out Right? So you kind feel, oh yeah, that’s right And so it’s the element of surprise It’s not one, two, three or one, two, seven OK? So I had a friend of mine explain it to me He goes, oh, jokes are A, B, G. I go, no, that doesn’t make any sense One, two, seven isn’t a thing One, two, three– if I got up here and said one, two, three, you’d all look at me and go, yeah, so We can count, dude I mean, what, we came here out of our time, took time out of our schedule to watch you count? So basically, the idea is that jokes are one, two, four Every joke actually contains a setup and a punch line You go from point A to point B. And there’s actually a comedy club here in San Francisco and it’s called The Punch Line I don’t know how many people have actually been to The Punch Line OK, from your nods, some of the people have been to The Punch Line Actually, I perform there I do really well at The Punch Line, but I think I could do a lot better at a club called the Setup You know what I mean? If all I had to do was just set up jokes, I would be way better It’s way easier to find setups than punch lines I don’t know how many people have been to a 3D movie By round of applause, how many people have been to a 3D movie? You know how they give you the glasses, the red and blue glasses, in the beginning of the film? Have you ever done this thing where, in the middle of the movie, maybe you take the glasses off your face just to see what the screen looks like without the glasses? Yeah, it’s weird You ever drive along in your car and look down at your odometer? And maybe it’s 9,993 or 9,994, maybe 1,999 You’re getting very, very close And you think, oh my gosh, I’m going to see it turn 10,000 or 100,000 on this I’m going to see it turn Then maybe go through a drive-through or a Starbucks or something and you look down and it’s, like, 10,003 and you go, oh, I missed it Anyway, I’ve got about 20 of those that I’m not going to subject you to But it is very, very easy, I think, in life, to find setups It’s much, much harder to find punch lines One, two is the setup And I believe there were five reasons why I am Indian worked, why it was shared by Bollywood stars, why it was played in front of Narendra Modi, why it was seen 50 million times Why is that? And it’s only 500,000 on YouTube, but if someone here can jack that up, that would help me a little bit So if you can just play with those numbers, that’s why I really came here But no, it got shared a lot on Facebook and it got shared a lot on WhatsApp I think, especially in India, it got shared on WhatsApp a lot That was really the thing I didn’t even know a video could go viral on WhatsApp I wasn’t even aware of that phenomenon But that’s kind of what happened So I think what’s important for anyone, if you’re trying to communicate a message– so how does this now become useful to some extent once you know about humor and stand-up and jokes– when you’re trying to convey a message, whether it’s an email, whether it’s a commercial, whether it’s a product launch, whether it’s anything, I think there are principles that we could all use And of course, I’m going to say humor as the number one since I’m a comedian But how do we find a setup? When I said jokes are one, two, four– for some of you just

joining us, I said jokes are one, two, four– one, two is the setup Right? And people always ask, how do you find these setups? Where do you find them? How do you do that? Well, that’s the same thing as asking a comedian, where do you get your material from It’s the exact same question and it’s a really good question We don’t look for what’s funny I think that’s a big misnomer I think a lot of people think that we walk around looking with a pad and a pen and trying to note down behavior that we think is funny That could not be further from the truth We look for things that are incongruent We look for incongruity, or incongruence, or whatever the word is I don’t know what the noun is It doesn’t matter, you don’t need to know that stuff for this job It only deals in language, why would I know that? But we deal in incongruity We look for what’s different So if you looked at this grid of black and white, we’ll all go to the pink one We’ll all go to the red dot, and that’s just because we’re Indian But we’ll all go to that and– it’s a bindi or a tilaka But no, the idea is we’re looking at this and all our eyes go there Right? Why? Because it’s different And you look at it and you go, hmm, that looks funny Right? Just like when somebody asks you and you’re not feeling well, you might say, I feel funny What you mean is you feel different from how you usually feel And so we sort of play around with that That’s a big thing What a lot of marketers will call that is a way in A lot of times you have to make a commercial or reach somebody How are you going to find this consumer when and where she’s receptive? And I worked at Procter and Gamble for years at P and G, punjabis and gujaratis And I worked there for a long time Actually, well, now is as good a time as any to tell you this I’m Punjabi That’s my wife sitting right there So we just got married six months ago She’s gujaratis So yeah, thank you I did it for the jokes, really But yes, we just got married And thank you for the jaded applause That’s really great Some of the guys are going, oh, so she’s taken OK That’s why I stayed this long We can leave now and turn around again But why, when I made that video, when I made I am Indian– this guy’s laughing See, it’s true, right? So there’s something to that, I guess, hopefully So the reason I made the video– why did I make I am Indian? What was the way in? I was sick and tired of calling myself South Asian I just got tired of it I know it’s inclusive I know it connects into race better to say South Asian than to say Indian But I really meant what I said in the video There’s 1.3 billion of us We don’t need a cardinal direction Don’t call us East Indian OK? We’re Indian That’s it It’s not our fault Christopher Columbus got lost That’s why I said that line And it really bothered me It really irked me And I felt that as long as we kept saying South Asian, we were going to lose “Indian” as a word People just aren’t going to say it anymore in this country And I thought, that’s not OK And I got tired at– that one that really pissed me off was Asian Indian I actually wrote a couple of State Farm commercials and Omi Vaidya was the star of those And I realized that– not that ad agency, but they were telling us that agencies, a lot of the time, will have people check a box And they refer to us as the Asian Indian market And I was just thinking, where do you think India is It is in Asia You’re just saying it twice I’m not a male man, right? I’m sort of dressed like one, I guess you could say But I should say man male, the other way But no, we don’t have to say it twice and just get more general or something like that, you know? So I knew there was something there That was incongruent to me There was something about saying South Asian and East Indian that really bothered me And that what we do is we write the jokes around the facts We don’t write facts around jokes We don’t try to find stuff like that and write jokes around it, because you stay in “sillyville.” If you really want to say something, we don’t go, what’s funny about this, we say, what are we making fun of Who’s the victim? What are we really trying to poke fun at? And in this particular video, I was making fun of ignorance That was a big thing And then I already explained the versus the feathers, dots versus feathers So a lot of people I know– I wanted to use one of the Golden State Warriors since I’m up here, but we couldn’t find any unrestricted images of Steph Curry But this specific one was– and it’s an alley-oop, right? That’s kind of what a joke is as well It’s the setup and the punch And a lot of times, we’ll have a miscommunication in life when you’re trying to speak to somebody And you’ll tell something and somebody will just completely miss it Right? We’ve all sent e-mails, we got no response Right? You sent it to 50 people Oh my gosh, I can’t wait to check my inbox No one wrote back, right? And a lot of the time, it was because the person missed the setup They just didn’t get the context of what you were trying to say And so if this ball is an errant toss and it goes away from the player, he’s not going to able to slam it Right? You need to set it up properly and then you get the punch Then you get the impact There’s actually a third part to jokes So there’s the setup, the punch line, and I’ll tell you a little thing that a lot of people who are not stand-ups don’t know There’s a third part to a joke called a tag And there’s a four part called walk out when they leave the room A third part called the tag– it’s usually further explanation or an act out You’ll see a lot of comedians say a line and then they’ll act it out, or do an accent, or something like that A great example is Seinfeld has a bit about laundry

And he talks about washing laundry And his joke is, now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there I think if you got a t-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn’t your biggest problem Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash Right? So that’s a beautiful joke, as you can tell by the laughter The set up is, now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there The punch line is, I think, if you’ve got a t-shirt with blood stains all over it, maybe laundry isn’t your biggest problem And then after the laugh, he tags it again– and this is why he’s one of the greatest– maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash That’s the tag And he even has another tag where he says, maybe you should try getting the harpoon out of your chest first Right? So again, right, it’s another laugh It’s another way of keeping and getting these things This is where it gets interesting, finally I used to work, like I said, at Procter and Gamble This is the structure of every commercial you’ve ever seen We– I still say we– we were the world’s largest– we’re still the world’s largest– advertiser I just don’t work there anymore– but world’s largest advertiser making a lot of commercials And every commercial you’ve seen is structured just like a joke It’s structured as an insight, a benefit, and a reason to believe Every ad is like that It doesn’t have to go, necessarily in that order But now, when you watch commercials, you will see– you’ll start to notice this Insight is also known as an accepted consumer belief and it gets us all on the same page– something like, no guy likes the irritation that comes with shaving Right? And then all of the guys are sort of nodding our heads and going that’s right, unless you’re you and you don’t shave very well– very often– I should say, not very well, very often Really looking scruffy there So but no, we don’t like the irritation that comes with shaving The benefit would be, the new Gillette Fusion razor provides a close shave without razor burn Right? So now guys go, cool, OK, so that’s the benefit And the reason to believe could be that’s because Gillette has added an 89th blade to it’s eludium pew 36 explosive space modulator or whatever the blades now have There are so many blades But I think that’s what’s really interesting, is that jokes and ads have the same structure You know, a joke is a setup, punch, and a tag And an ad is an insite, benefit, and reason to believe So a lot of people, after I made that video, a lot of people said, oh, I liked your commercial, which I thought was really interesting I thought, well, it wasn’t really a commercial But I get, now, why people say that it was a commercial It’s just like when, in India, when we go to India– I did a tour there– I’ve done a few tours there– it’s really funny, because Indians in India have a different way of explaining that they like your videos You know, here, people will come up to me and they’ll say, oh, I saw your YouTube video I liked your– there, in India They they’re so sweet– they say, you know, I saw your youtubes I love your youtubes, Jar, I love your youtubes It just sounds very personal, you know, like you’ve seen my tubes I don’t have any tubes I mean, I’m post-med, I realize that, but I don’t have any tubes Folks, I’m going to stop there, because even though I have more things to say, I want to probably leave a little bit of time for Q&A. And if there are any other main things that I wanted to say, we’re going to do a Q&A here And then I think we’ll take some questions from the audience as well But just so I can wrap it up, I could say that the second thing was making an emotional connection So the first thing was using humor The second thing was making an emotional connection, which I think that that video did And a lot of people felt that it came from my soul And I think that’s an important thing, is when we write things and convey things that we aspire with our head and we pine with our hearts We crave with our bodies, right, but we yearn with our souls And so if you want to make something that really–N I don’t know when I turn into Deepak Chopra, but the idea is– I even had a slide for that That’s too bad I had a slide with me and Deepak Chopra, but oh well I don’t know how many of these other slides I really wanted to show you, but that’s OK There were more, but why don’t we stop there, just in the interest of time? And we’ll go ahead and we’ll do the Q&A. OK, thanks All right Thank you [APPLAUSE] There’s me as Ghandi I at least got to show you that So that’s me as Ghandi OK FEMALE SPEAKER: So you told us that you did a lot of TV commercials Is there any favorites? And do you want to tell us a story about how you [INAUDIBLE]? RAJIV SATYAL: I think the ones that we wrote for– so a friend of mine and I in LA, we co-wrote a couple of State Farm commercials And they were played by Omi Vaidya He was– Vaidya, he was the actor in them And again, one of them was called– it was an Indian wedding And it rains, you know? And they have to somehow all jump in a car And they’re just wondering if they have insurance and that sort of thing So I think just the spectacle of a huge Indian wedding was kind of a cool thing to do So I think that’s what’s really great about this job is that you are always looking for how you can express your jokes And that was actually another point that– I’ll just go to my talking points like I’m Marco Rubio But you know, Barack Obama knew exactly what he was doing

I’ll just keep saying that But that’s the idea As a commercial, we were always trying to reach people and saying where are they receptive Should it be a TV ad? Should be a billboard? Should it be an internet pop-up? Please God, no And jokes are the same way, right, where you go, does this work as a tweet Does it work as an Instagram picture? Does it work on stage? Is it a sketch or is it a commercial? So I think part of being a comedian is being able to tell jokes in a wide variety of media And so a lot of people ask me that– so, how do you go over in India? And I think it works, I think, largely, because I try to talk about our– there’s an old quote that says we bond according to our similarities and we grow according to our differences, which I think is beautiful and I love that But I think that a lot of comedy is about bringing people together What do we all do together? And I find that stuff to be a lot more fun than the stuff that sort of divides us apart and go, well, I disagree with this or disagree with that So I think, in that way, being able to write commercials is kind of cool, because you get to express something in a visual medium FEMALE SPEAKER: How did you get into comedy? Like saying you were a materials engineer, then you worked with P&G as a marketer– what was your in into comedy? RAJIV SATYAL: I volunteered at a tennis tournament, because I’m Indian And you have to do something with tennis, right? It has to– in this country, especially It’s cricket in India But here, the Indians who couldn’t play football, we basically had to do something with tennis And so I worked in the player locker room in Cincinnati, which is one of the– there are the four grand slams in tennis– I don’t know how much everyone knows about tennis– the four grand slams And then it’s the third largest tournament after that So it’s one of the biggest tournaments in the world And I was working in the locker room, got to see the players– a little bit too much of the players And I actually was going to go on stage for the very first time But then I ended up talking to Pete Sampras, who, at the time, was the world’s number one player And I did my stand-up act for Pete Sampras That was the first time I’m ever did stand-up comedy It was just for him, and his doctor, and a trainer, and my supervisor, and one other guy And I did stand-up for him And it was really this mind-blowing experience And it went kind of not that well Gut it gave me the confidence of going with it I had pictures and posters of him all over my room, him and Andre Agassi And to me, to be able to do that and get through it gave me a lot of confidence to say, OK, let me go up and enter this contest in Cincinnati, which is where I’m from And I entered a contest I made the semifinals and the next year, I won it So I sort of had this knack to be able to do it But I wasn’t really sure I wanted to do it for a job Because I think, being Indian was a real sort of– you kind of go, well, that’s not– you have to be an engineer You have to be a doctor You can’t go do that as a job And that’s not a real thing, you know? And even when I would go to comedy clubs, I would never look at the guys and go, I’m going to be that guy I never thought that that would be something I would do So the fact that I do it full time is still kind of a mind-blowing thing I’m surprised that I get not paid to come here Next question I’m not bitter I’m not bitter Not bitter Not bitter FEMALE SPEAKER: To give others context, Rajiv also hosts shows or, like, motivation sessions with corporations and NFL players What’s people’s reactions when they say– when the company tells them, hey, a comedian is here to motivate you guys to do your job better? RAJIV SATYAL: I think people, at first, are kind of going, well, what’s a comedian go to tell us I think that’s a natural sort of thing But I think it’s funny that you bring up the NFL, because performing for football players was an interesting experience And I actually had to do a three-hour– some of you are going, well, I can’t even take this guy for an hour– a three-hour session on personal branding And it was all about life after the NFL And these were rookies These were players who were– first of all, you have a 1 in 16,000 chance of making the NFL And that’s if you played high school football, not you, not me I don’t– it’s way– it’s like Powerball numbers for US OK? But for these guys who actually have the speed, and the strength, and all that– I don’t know why I picked on you for that But anyway, point being that– I don’t want to play in the NFL I’d rather be [INAUDIBLE] or something But it’s a very difficult thing and so it’s not a receptive audience at all I mean, these guys just got to the NFL They’re all pumped up Let me talk about life after football, after you don’t make it Right? I mean, what is that? It could be not a more hostile audience, you could imagine It’s a three-hour mandatory session They don’t necessarily want to be there And at the time, I was 32 And I was a 32-year-old scrawny Indian nerd talking to 22-year-old black and white jocks You know, just football players, guys who could good just mash– you know, stuff guys like me into a locker kind of thing, right? And I won them over Because I was trying to talk and they’re just stone-faced, just nothing

Just when do we– that kind of thing I just tried to talk to one of the guys And I just said, so what do you do, man? I just go out to clubs and stuff, you know And I said, do you dance? He goes, no, I don’t dance I go, you just roll up your pants and do the Rockaway, which was a line from a hip hop song that was popular at the time And he goes, oh, OK, OK And then I got him, right? So there was something I had to say that I had to go to him to say, I speak your language, right? It’s the same thing wherever you perform, whether it’s the Middle East, or India, or it’s Alabama You have to say something I mean, I got out in front of Alabama, 400 white and black people, maybe 10 black people, 390 white people No brown people anywhere to be found Alabama– I mean, not even Birmingham, but outside of Birmingham And I got up there and I went out there and I just, in an Indian accent I said, roll tide And they went nuts, right, because they love the Alabama Crimson Tide They went crazy Oh my god, this guy knows Right? So you need to say something specific that will get people I do a joke about how I was trying to– I was on shoddy.com It’s not really shoddy, it’s shoddy– S-H-O-D-D-Y– shoddy.com Or shady.com, right? And so I was on that And it asked all these questions and it asked if I was a manglik And I didn’t know what a manglik was, you know? So I looked it up online And I always did a joke about how I felt bad looking up my culture online But so many Indians work at Google, it’s like asking your uncle Right? So it was this big thing, a big laugh line that works everywhere but at Google, apparently OK, great FEMALE SPEAKER: OK I will open up the house for some questions before I go and rant on Anybody has any questions? Yes AUDIENCE: You talked about having a knack for this thing Do you think people can learn this? RAJIV SATYAL: Can people learn this? So it’s sort of the age old question of, is it innate, right? Is it congenital or is it– that’s not a bad word– congenital– or is it born leaders? People always have the same question I think– I just read a book called “On Writing” by Stephen King And it’s a great book, even if you’re not into writing, because he breaks things down so specifically He tells you, hey, this work– it’s different things for different people But you look at his bio and it says, Stephen King has written 50 books, all of them worldwide bestsellers OK, I’m going to listen to this guy, right? Because I’ve been telling somebody, he goes, well, that works for him I go, you haven’t even published anything Yes, that works for Stephen King I think I’m going to read this And he talks about where he puts his desk, how many hours a day to write, how many words He really breaks it down But he basically gives you four categories of bad, competent, good, and great And he says people like Ernest Hemingway– great, just great, just touched by God There’s nothing that you can– he doesn’t have to read this book And then there are people who are just bad They’re just bad You know? Because I get people asking me that question They go, how do I get better And I watch their first time on stage and I go, I was never that bad I’m sorry, I was just never that bad I mean, I watch my first set and I go, that’s pretty good Right? I had some game I had some chops But what he talks about is, if you’re bad, you’re bad If you’re great, you’re great But the book is supposed to take you from competent to good And he calls himself good Right? So he’s Hemingway– so I would say, Chris Rock, George Carlin, Dave Chappelle, these guys are great Then you have the bad people who are bad, who, you know, we’ve seen them Then you’ve got people who are competent And then you’re trying to get good I would call myself competent and I would say I’m trying to get good But to say I’m going to be great, that’s sort of, wow, that’s amazing You’re going to great? I mean, how many people could come to Google and go, I’m going to be Sundar? I’m going to be Sundar Pichai I mean, you’re going to Then they take entrepreneurial classes I don’t think entrepreneurs have to take entrepreneurial classes, you just know how to start a company Sorry But yeah, I think it’s a similar kind of thing, that I think a lot of it– it’s similar to dancing With dancing, you have to have rhythm But you don’t have to have rhythm If you can count, you don’t have to have rhythm So if you can get on the dance floor and you can count, you can bypass rhythm Timing is the same thing as comedy You can learn to tell jokes, but you’ll never have timing, and so you won’t be great But you might be good OK FEMALE SPEAKER: Any other questions? RAJIV SATYAL: If you’ve got to leave, I totally understand I don’t want to hold anyone I know people have meetings and stuff AUDIENCE: It’s obviously awesome to see so many Indian American comics emerge on the scene So there’s tons of material for Americans, tons of material for Indians And you put both of them together, it’s like a nuclear reaction You have 10 times the material All that is awesome, but do you see a time when the Indian Americans grow past their ethnic roots and do secular comedy? And when you see an Indian American, the first thing you imagine is they’re going to tap their ethnic roots Do you see that going past their roots and just do awesome comedy like Seinfeld or something? RAJIV SATYAL: Sort of Asian fusion? Sort of the fission kind of thing I always think that Indian Americans, specifically, are very good comedians

A lot of that is because we are products of the world’s largest democracy and the world’s most powerful democracy So we’re sort of free speech squared Right? I mean, we’re raised to have free speech and it’s just amplified, right, which is why I think if you look at some of the Indian American actors, they’re OK I think they’re OK But I think the Indian American comedians are really strong And I think you’re seeing that with Aziz Ansari I think Aziz Ansari doesn’t necessarily do a lot of ethnic humor And when I say American, I kind of include Russell in that He’s Canadian, but it’s the 51st through 55th state, so whatever It’s 30 million people Come on, it’s not a country So the point is, it’s not America It’s certainly not India But I think that there’s the idea that, yes, I think you’re seeing that I think you’re seeing people who do mine it I think that, hopefully, I try to walk that line I try to do stuff that, I think, appeals to everyone But there’s that sweet spot of targeting of saying, if you’re Indian, you probably maybe get it a little bit more But I don’t think, any more, people feel that The first two years I did comedy, I didn’t do any Indian jokes at all– none And so I don’t think it’s necessary But I think we can support Indian American comedians and I really appreciate the support today and everybody coming out Because this is how we do it to quote Montell Jordan FEMALE SPEAKER: I would put in one of my questions So you said that you guys just got married Thank you for coming here today, Harsha And I know that there’s a funny story behind how you proposed to her Do you want to tell that story to everyone? RAJIV SATYAL: Or do you? The way you said it I though maybe you wanted to tell it, so I thought, OK, fine Well, I proposed to Harsha on stage, which was kind of cool We were– I was performing at the Cincinnati Funny Bone And I was opening for Kevin Nealon, who you might know from “Saturday Night Live” or from “Weeds.” And I proposed to Harsha There’s actually a YouTube video of it, so you can Google it or YouTube it, and look it up, and see that proposal, which is pretty cool And then I did that in front of Kevin Nealon And then we had Russell Peters perform at our wedding So that was pretty sweet That was a great comedic arc to the whole thing And since I had to be the last one to speak, I could say Russell Peters has opened for me, so that was the whole idea But we got married– Harsha is from Austin, so we got married in Texas And we had a full-on cowboys and Indians wedding, because it was kind of great Because we’re Indians, but I’m a cowboy I’m Hindu I worship cows So I really am a cowboy FEMALE SPEAKER: OK We have time for one more question from the audience RAJIV SATYAL: We exhausted it It’s like popcorn that stopping popping Rania AUDIENCE: So in terms of asking– sorry, in terms of making jokes that, sometimes, can offend people, I’m just curious about any time that, maybe, you have made a joke that crossed the line, how you recovered RAJIV SATYAL: I mean, I’ve bombed many times I mean, every comedian has But I’m trying to think if I’ve done anything that was so over the top that really offended people I mean, I’ve definitely had people come up to me after shows and say, wow, that was– that one joke Actually, there was a joke I did– OK, yeah So I was in Chicago and I was performing with Hari Kondabolu Hannibal Buress, actually, was there Hannibal Buress was our headliner It was all mostly a Desi comedy show It was an Indian comedy show, largely But we had Hannibal Buress perform, actually, in Chicago And it was for a women’s shelter OK? So I did one of my jokes that I do that usually goes over really well And it didn’t in the beginning, because it had a certain– I did the joke where I go, we all have a number on a scale from one to 10 And I’m a 6, and I know that, and that’s fine And she’s looking at me like, dude, you’re a four But seriously, the idea is– the thing is– and I’m Indian, so I’ve come up with a formula And the formula is, you can only date and be happy with somebody who’s up or down one digit from you on the scale OK? That’s– really, it is So if you’re a six, you can be happy with a five, six, or seven Don’t act Ask how this happened I don’t know But that’s the rule, right? So you can date a five, six, or seven But I married a 10 So at the time, I was single And so I said, but I’ve dated tens before And people go, well, how is that Well, the thing is, women, you are what you are I go, you know, if you’re an eight, you’re an eight You’re beautiful But you can’t go up or down on the scale We live in a chauvinist society But fellas can go up on the scale if we’re funny and we have money So I’m a six for looks I’m funny on most nights I become a seven I’ve got some money in the bank so i become an eight And that’s how I date tens And I know some people are looking at me, like, yeah, but that’s still two numbers apart Right? What I do is I meet at 10 and I break her self-esteem down so she thinks she’s a nine Right? It’s funny See? Everybody’s laughing But the room, being a battered women’s shelter kind of went– you know, one of those moments And Hari comes back to me backstage and just goes, dude, telling that joke at this place I go, I know And I had a couple women come up to me and say, come on, really I said, yeah, it’s funny I mean, sorry, that’s a funny joke, OK? It’s just funny But yeah, I think that was definitely not knowing your audience And I didn’t get to that part of the presentation,

but I do a whole thing about knowing your audience