Is Mrs Laxmi Chaudhary in? – Yes Sister, someone has come to meet you Do come in and sit down – Our duty is to keep standing, Madam Yes? What is it? – We’re from the Income Tax Your husband has been raided Let’s go immediately My God! What do I do now? – Don’t worry, sister They’re only Income Tax officers, they won’t harm you I’ll accompany you Let’s go Where’s your master? – He’s inside We are doomed, Saraswati! We are ruined! What do I do now? How often have I asked you not to hide the keys of the locker behind God’s picture?! We’ve been raided now, haven’t we?! They’ll take all away now! The gold, the cash and this house! No! Not the house! They’ll take away everything. Everything! No! Please save this house! I beg of you! Please don’t render us homeless Very well. Since today is our 25th wedding anniversary I can’t refuse you anything I will do then, that which every sensible husband does! Here’s the 100 Rupees Get going Only a hundred rupees, sir? Now look; I was born after the death of a 1000 misers! Quietly take this or you get nothing! I’ll even call the cops and tell them that some guys from the films posed as policemen and kidnapped my wife! We’ve done just as you asked us to, sir But we get more money to speak our lines! You ought to be large-hearted today let’s the silver jubilee of your wedding, after all! Here’s 10 more rupees and just get lost! Thank you Weren’t they from the Income Tax, brother-in-law? You were conned, weren’t you? Where was the need to do all that? When a wife goes away to her parents’ place on her 25th wedding anniversary, what does a man do? Your practical jokes will ruin this home someday! There’s a limit! What if I had suffered a heart-attack? A heart-attack? Do you have the heart, then? Hadn’t you given it away to me 25 years ago on our nuptial night? Hush! Can’t you see your sister-in-law here?! You’re scaring me as if she were a gun! She’s only a sister-in-law a half-wife! Now wait Here you are! – Wow! It’s beautiful! Is this for me? – Of course! Looks like you will always play jokes and buy gold! I might get over the habit of playing jokes
But to admire the beauty of the girls from the villages who are no less than real gold I will never get over my admiration for them Congratulations on your wedding anniversary! See how much your son loves you both, brother-in-law? He’s bound you both in just one garland! It’s Amit who will be bound in matrimony now That’s the gift I give you on my anniversary, my son! There you go again! Now yet, daddy! You know marriage is going to cost me dearly I’ve got to go to London for my business-management course! I’ve got to begin my career! You know that, don’t you? There’s no career bigger than finding a good wife! Look at your Mom I’ve had it made, ever since I got married to her! And she even gave me a certificate in you! I’ve even found a girl I’ve only got to visit Nirmal Village to finalise it A village? You speak as if the word has set your town on fire! Yes, it’s a village! The Nirmal Village! There’s a beautiful girl there who will be my daughter-in-law! I even have a picture Want to see it? No thank you! Because it won’t help! We have a sensible son, Laxmi! He knows, no one can change his father’s decision! Now look, Dad don’t talk about that! I know how you got used to liking bitter-gourd! Don’t you know? Bitter-gourd is fantastic for health! It cleanses the system! It’s good for the heart and the brain, you know? I don’t ! You’re lying! There’s only one thing that’s good for the heart! You must have a heart, that is! Tomorrow’s the Independence Day of the India I’ve been invited over by the Headmaster and the girl belongs to the same village! That’s called killing two birds with one stone! Raise your voice, children! Glory to Mother India! Glory to Mother India! I will request our Chief Guest, Mr Chaudhary, to say a few words to the children Dear children, you are the citizens of tomorrow I will say more than a few words It has to do with the slogan you chanted Glory to Mother India I want to know what Glory to Mother India means I want to know the importance of the word Mother India I will reward anyone who gives me the right answer I’m surprised, children! Don’t you know the meaning of the expression you were just chanting? Is there no one in the village who knows what the expression Mother India means? Go on… of course! I can give you the answer! Wonderful! Do come forward, Madhuri! She’s the one I told you about, Mr Chaudhary I recognised her Greetings Yes, dear? Should you know the answer you might get the reward By Mother India, we are referring to our nation From Kashmir to Kanyakumari from the Arabian Seas to the Bay of Bengal all the religions and faiths that it fosters the Bible, the Geeta and the Koran symbolise the spirit of India Mother India is the soul of the nation that is worshipped even by the Gods
Which is why it is called Mother India Let’s say together then To India Glory be! Mother! Where are you, mother?! Madhuri has won a reward! And the gentleman is personally coming here to give her the reward! Let’s go out and see! They must’ve arrived in their car Mother! – Come dear Welcome This is Mr Chaudhary I spoke to you about, Ganga You should’ve told us about your visit. I’d have Please don’t worry The Head Master invited us to the school today And we thought we could deal with both things today Deal with what? – I’ll explain I am greatly influenced by my wife, Laxmi because she comes from the villages I believe that the beauty of the villages has a purity and nobility that is lacking in cities We have a son for whom we had ideas after we saw a photograph of Madhuri Now that we have met her and seen how intelligent she is we have a greater idea! Am I right? It’s time now to give you the award, my dear We want to give our son to you for life, as your reward We consider the alliance sealed, if you don’t mind Mr Chaudhary! I can’t begin to express myself! To think that my daughter will be the daughter-in-law of a rich household is something I couldn’t even dream about! Madhuri must’ve done something good to deserve this Let’s discuss the dowry first Mr Chaudhary! Are you talking of dowry?! Of course, I want a dowry! Because dowry is now part of our culture! Even after 25 years in the city, I have not forgotten our culture As part of the dowry I want some bitter-gourd, some green-grams snake-gourd, a pickle of green-chillies and before I end my meal I want a porridge garnished with dates and dry-fruits! As dowry, I need a meal that Madhuri has cooked Fantastic! Your daughter is good looking and talented! This food that she has cooked will leave me licking my fingers for years to come! Won’t you have a wedding date fixed, then? I’m not a fool! I even had the wedding date fixed, before we came here Tuesday next is considered to be very auspicious You have no objections, do you? How can we ? We are fortunate indeed! Can I’ve the good-fortune of meeting my sister’s future husband? My sister answered your questions and won a reward I will question your son, too and should he win, I will give him my sister in marriage! Certainly! Why not? Let’s go together I’m grateful to you, Teacher It’s thanks to you that my son’s fortunes have looked up Your future brother-in-law is here to meet you! What do you mean? – Yes I’ve met the girl and even fixed your wedding Have you even decided who my brother-in-law will be? I’ve never let anything be half-done Now look your brother-in-law wants to interview you An interview?! – Yes He’s a simpleton from the countryside You must deliberately lose which will make him happy But I’ve already lost out, father Shreekant! – Coming over…! Brother-in-law! What misbehaviour is this?! Not misbehaviour. That is the tradition of our family! You look like a film-star! My sister is indeed very fortunate! He’s my son, after all But hurry up and ask him whatever you wish to My first question is
what would happen, had we not had the Himalayas? That’s an extremely stupid question! It’s a great question! Answer him, Amit! Even the kids know that if it wasn’t for the Himalayas foreign powers would have attacked our country Wonderful! You’re incomparable! My second question is what would we have, if not the Himalayas? What?! – Of course! Answer me What would we have, if not the Himalayas? – What? What would we have, if not the Swiss Alps? Had it not been for the alps the cool winds would’ve ruined the crops in our nation Just as I am being ruined! You’re an intelligent man! You score 101 marks out of 100! My third is question is a bit tricky. Be careful What would happen, if we had not the Swiss Alps? You’ve trapped him! Do you have an answer? I give up to you and to this chap you’ve chosen for my brother-in-law! I don’t know the answer! – I’ll explain! What would Tensingh climb, if not the Swiss Alps? Bravo! That’s wonderful! What’s up? Why are you winking at me? What’s the mystery all about? – It’s a bad omen actually A blinking eye is considered to be inauspicious And I have both eyes shutting up! – Must be conjunctivitis! It has spread in the whole city! Let me put give you some eye-drops No thank you! You need the eye-drops actually! For what is going on in the name of Swiss Alps should you cure your eyes, mine will be fine, too! I spoke of your sight and you talk of attitudes! Let’s go and eat, Shrikant Wow! I have yet to eat something so delicious! Look! Don’t we both share the same tastes? Tell me something; my sister will accompany your son to London after the wedding, won’t she? But naturally! The couple will live together after their wedding Get the Rasagollas for Shrikant. It’s in the fridge Maharaj – Go and fetch it yourself! Please go and fetch it! Okay Now listen, son I have something to ask you Yes. Go on I’m told that village folks bury gold in their courtyard It’s true. I’ve heard of it, too In the marriage of your sister, then Listen! Where are the rasagollas ? It’s in my room. In my briefcase, actually In your briefcase? – Yes. Hurry up and fetch it Weren’t you asking me something, sir? I was telling you something, actually It’s a marriage, after all It’s no joke so much of the buried gold does your sister get in marriage? You will give her atleast 200 grams of gold, won’t you? 200 grams? But of course! I must give her that much naturally! In fact, you can consider it given to her already! I’ll be back in a minute! Won’t you have the rasagollas ? – No thank you. I’ve had enough Well… have you been up to your jokes again? Not at all! I’ve set the stage for a joke though! What am I to do now? Although it’s the question of my sister’s life where will I bring 200 grams of gold from? I will have to face this problem somehow! My sister will surely be married! She surely will! If it wasn’t for our jokes life would be so dull and drab! Jokes and laughter add years to one’s life Isn’t that why both of us are in the pink of health? Welcome, Shreekant Do we have a deal, then? – What is the deal? That one about the 200 grams of gold, of course! Naturally! It was a deal the moment you mentioned it! Let’s shake then Come on! Give this sari to Madhuri and tell her that it’s a token of our affection for her We’re now waiting for the auspicious moment
when she comes here as our daughter-in-law “It’s like adding spice to life…” “when the groom is fairer than the bride” “The one who steals the heart is fairer than his bride…” “How do you like them? Fair-skinned or dark?” “Tell me how you’d like your husband to be?” “Let me go don’t pester me” “How do I tell you or explain…” “my choice is hidden deep down in my heart” “It’ll be difficult to woo the fair-skinned one…” “and the dark one will attract taunts from everyone” “Be he fair-skinned or dark…” “It is he I will have to live with” “The fair-skinned one will be an arrogant one…” “while the dark one will suffer from complexes” “You will lose your sleep and be restless” “Do tell me then… what kind of a husband d’you want?” “Let me go do not pester me” “How do I tell you or explain this…” “My choice lies hidden deep down in my heart” “Should he be tall or short in height?” “Should he be skinny or plump like a wrestler?” “Be he skinny or strong…” “I only hope he is not evil at heart” “The tall one will inflict cruelties…” “the shorter one will look odd” “How will you take the weight…” “should you find a fat husband?” “Do tell us then… what kind of a husband do you want?” “Do let me go don’t pester me” “How do I explain or tell you…” “My choice lies in my dreams” “What is this I hear, my friend…”
“that they’ve chosen a city-bred for you?” “The city-bred have a colourful nature…” “They’re always chasing the pretty ones” “I shall turn myself into what he’d like…” “and win over my husband’s heart” “What if you slip and fumble?” “Whom will you tell the truth, if not to us?” “Do tell us then what husband do you want?” “Let me go! Don’t pester me” “How do I tell you or explain this?” “My choice lies hidden in my dreams” Congratulations on your wedding! Greetings, Madam – Greetings I have a small gift for you Look at it through my glasses it’s genuine gold – You are a jeweller Who will bring gold, if not you? I guessed the moment I saw your wife as to why you suddenly agreed to the wedding To be honest, I don’t know how my wife has approved of me! She’s in Nirmal Village! A bride for you, as beautiful as gold itself! She’ll be my daughter-in-law! Look at Harish! Isn’t he delighted?! People who don’t marry, regret it all their live, really! And those who marry regret it even more! Oh, come on! – I’m already regretting it But I’m helpless How would a poor goat face a hungry tiger? Something wrong, Amit? You hardly look happy How’d I be happy especially since I’m marrying a village-belle? A village-belle, do you get it? Tell me… how can I ever bring a village-belle to a gathering of this kind? You can always refuse Why get worked up? Refuse, eh? Refuse my father?! You don’t know my old man! He strides across like an elephant watches me like an owl and roars like a lion! This liquor you’re having is a funny thing, Amit Two extra drinks could dwarf a giant! Have a couple of quick ones then and call it an attack on your old man! What insolence is this?! This is a gun not insolence! It’s loaded with six bullets which will decide things! What nonsense are you talking? Where’ve you picked up that piece of junk from? You’re the Junk-seller who’s saddling me with all the unwanted things! You have called me a junk-seller! Not even your grandpa ever called me that! You, son of my grandpa in Heaven prepare to leave for heaven, too! Are you going to kill me with that toy-gun? You’ll get a slap from me! This is no toy! It’s a real pistol! And this last bullet will find my father’s heart! Should you insist on this marriage Go ahead and fire! But you will marry that very girl! No way! – Of course, you will! No! – You will certainly! What have you done, Amit? How could you do this? That which I should have done long ago! Note down my last wish, Laxmi That which must be followed lf my last wish is not adhered to my soul will haunt this man as a ghost, all his life! Don’t say that! Nothing will happen to you!
Very well, Laxmi I must leave now Forgive me for any wrong I’ve done I have a regret, though. I can’t see my son getting married Impossible! I can’t do it! Looks like I’m surely going to get married! Have you got it, teacher? I’ve looked for you all over, and here you are Wow! They look genuine! If man could help it, he’d even have fake-men look like real! By the way, which drama are you staging this festival? I’m playing Satyavan Savitri I’m going to wear these ornaments and play the role Are preparations for Madhuri’s wedding over? Should you need help from me, please don’t hesitate What more than this can you do, Teacher? I need God to help me now Good-bye Your bridegroom is here! It’s considered auspicious to see him before the wedding! Is the groom blind? He’s wearing dark-glasses even at night! He’s had it, even before he has set his eyes on her! Call the bride It’s time for the vows There she is! Stop showering petals on us! This marriage will not take place! What nonsense are you talking? The vows are over No, father! This is no wedding It’s a joke! A farce! Come to your senses! How can you retract after the vows Such a marriage cannot be called a marriage, dad!
Why not? You told me that girls from the village are pure as gold Then ask the village-belle, why are they giving us fake gold? You have always worshipped people from the villages, dad But you can see for yourself how these people have taken a gullible man for a ride! When the gold they give us is fake the bride must be a fake, too! To be honest, I think everything here including her brother and mother, appear to be fake! Especially the brother! Are the ornaments fake, Shreekant? I’ll explain this, my son! I joked with Shreekant that I wanted 200 grams of gold And that which is given in a joke is always fake not genuine! You have come to be a professional joker, dad In the process, you were about to make a mockery of my life! But not anymore! Should these fake people still appeal to you you can take to them You can indulge them and the fake bride! Do as you please! But I’m leaving now Sir! Please save us from ruination! God alone is the saviour, son But I have made a very big mistake, too I didn’t know that a small joke would lead to such a calamity That a spark could ignite a raging fire! My son is a hot-blooded youth It’ll take him time to cool down But please don’t worry Very soon, I shall take my daughter-in-law away with all due ceremonies and honour This is my promise to you Good-bye You’ve saved a friend today You’ve saved me from being ruined That’s okay. But I’m terribly angry at your father How could he decide anything without his son’s consent? I will decide things for myself, in the future You sinner! You have ruined your sister’s life! Hit me, mother! I have sinned! I have ruined my sister’s life! No! Before you hit him, you must realise that he did it all for my welfare You must forgive him There’s no point in crying or regretting anything now A controversy which began with fake-jewellery eventually boiled down to faces he didn’t like But don’t worry, Mom If there is sacred anything in my marriage it will break the shackles of falsehoods and help me settle down with my husband one day! There are women waiting for the interview, sir
Have all the ladies arrived? – Yes, sir I’ll be there in a moment! My name is Kumar Chatterji I happen to be the whole and soul of the company where nothing moves without my permission! So you’d better give me all the crucial information about yourselves My name is Manju Chaudhary I stay at Vakola, Santacruz Have you come for the view I mean, for the interview? Yes – Please sit down Sit here Can you give me your contact number? – Why? I might need it in an emergency, you see! Let me land the job first The contact comes later You can consider yourself employed! Who’s the gentleman? – Our boss! He’s the one who will interview all of you This is Bhagat here – Yes, Mr Bhagat? I have decided to employ the Minister’s niece as the secretary She will assume charge on Monday But I’ve summoned many girls for the interview, sir What will I say to them? – Do as you are told, Amit This has to do with the minister’s niece Have Kumar sent to me It stops. And Mr Kumar! The boss wants you inside See? Nothing moves here without my permission! Excuse me, I’ll just be back Did you send for me? – Yes. Go and cancel the interviews I get it! You must’ve got a call from the M.D. ! Sure. You’re a smart guy! Now go and call off the interviews And see that none of them takes offence Don’t worry, sir! I’ve called off so many interviews… in the past! Ladies! I have bad news! My boss received a call from his doctor just now And that which he feared has turned out to be true! What’s wrong with him? He’s suffering from a cancer of the piles! Strange are God’s ways! Such a tall and handsome man, fair and broad-chested suffering from cancer that too, of piles! Please convey our best wishes to him! That’s a contagious disease! Let’s return Haven’t you left, Madam No, sir. Because I want to rush you to the hospital I’m sure it’s you who has the cancer, not your boss Hats off to you, madam! You’re a smart one! But I’m no less So let me tell you what the man inside has cooked Our boss received a call from a superior to employ someone he favours Which is why I had to fake the illness But you you’re incomparable! But I promise to set you up the moment I get the chance! You’re an interesting man, too My name is Malti Chaudhary I came here for the interview But your assistant said that you’re suffering from cancer What? Cancer?! Who? Me?! He’s a bloody liar! Of course! All the girls prayed for you, before they left
But I stayed back to find out the nature of the cancer afflicting you Is it the cancer of bribes? Of employing a relative? Or is it the cancer of influence? What exactly is the nature of your cancer? You are accusing me I will expose the truth behind your so called interviews! I will take this story of deceit to the newspapers! Let people know how rich people like you take advantage of the deprived class! It’s sad that I haven’t even got to tell you that I’ve practiced hard to improve my typing speed to 80 wpm I have won a distinction in shorthand and I’ve topped in my course of Secretarial Practice But I will not spare you! Stop the girl who has walked out of my office And come inside immediately Mr Bhagat? A girl just stormed into my office She has threatened to expose us all in the newspapers This thing about employing the minister’s niece can give us a bad name Okay. Thank you Give the girl her appointment letter You’re a great man, sir – And you’re a cheap guy! If you lie ever again, you will discover my greatness! You are a great man, no doubt But by employing the girl you have driven away my disappointment! You’re done! – What?! Naturally! With someone like me for a fan everything had to pale into insignificance! After I lectured the boss about you he begged at my feet! Please employ her, he said! And so… here’s your appointment letter Listen… this is important We will be working together, no doubt But if I may be able to help you economically or physically I’ll be pleased to oblige, and so will you! Pardon me? Very well Very well indeed! Sister! How are you? – I’m fine Careful! How did it go? I’ll tell you – What happened? Just what I wanted I have got the job What?! Have you got a job as his private secretary?! Yes! – Didn’t he recognise you?! No. He hasn’t still got rid of his dark-glasses All this has happened because of me, isn’t it? Hadn’t I done something so foolish that day you’d have been living peacefully with your husband Stop cribbing and crying! All you did was to care for your sister’s well-being! I need your help right now I can’t succeed in this drama without your help You will help me, won’t you? I’d do more than laying down my life for you, sis It won’t come to that, God-willing Look at Madhuri going! – She’s got the city airs! The high-heeled sandals, the swaying gait And look carefully! She has even wiped out the matrimonial vermillion! There’s no dearth of vermillion in Bombay nor that of people who’d be interested in her! Look at her ways! The Bombay-bird indeed! Have some tea, dear
Why are you looking at me like this, mom? It’s nothing, dear I know what you have to go through, for my sake, mom You have to put up with a lot of jibes How far have you gone away from our culture, Madhuri? You have even wiped away the matrimonial vermillion! Of what use is the vermillion that returned after reaching my forehead? If there is any strength in my belief of my marriage the vermillion will return to my forehead one day! Your son-in-law is the boss of the company where I’ve been employed Really? Hasn’t he recognised you, then? No. He’s just been introduced to me He’ll get to know me very soon, too I only need your blessings now O Goddess Mother! Just as You can be pleased and angry with your devotees Your devotees have the right to be angry and happy with You, too I’m terribly angry with You for what You’ve done to us! My son has been married but my daughter-in-law hasn’t come home! I will not pray to You till such time as Madhuri comes here as my daughter-in-law! Do come Have you never been in love? I want a rose with fragrance and you bring me one that stinks! D’you want one that has more fragrance than this? I’ll get it for you But do talk to me! Sure… No! Go outside and attend to the forward and backward… – What? I mean, the inward and outward correspondence! That’s what I’m always doing! What a bore! How often have I told you not to call me Uncle ? What do I call an uncle, if not Uncle? Don’t you try to act smart with me…! And if you must really call someone uncle you can always call Anthony that! The score’s 30 for no loss, sir! What was he saying? – He asked me to call you uncle! I always steal a rose from the neighbour’s garden brave the ferocious dog there and bring it to you! It’s beautiful, isn’t it? But although I have presented you with 25 roses I have still to win over your heart! I always spray a perfume on it so its fragrance never wears off But alas! The fragrance of my love never reaches your beautiful nose! That’s a beautiful rose! – Isn’t it?
Who brought it? – I did It’s a strange thing, isn’t it that the rose always smells of different perfumes Brut, Charlie, Sex Appeal, Henna Henna? That’s right! I love roses! So does my mother And she’d love to meet you So why don’t you come over to my place next Sunday? But don’t tell Boss about it He’s a good man But he’s dull and boring He knows nothing of romance and wouldn’t understand this! We have an urgent meeting to attend – Go ahead, sir You will come along, too! – I? Come on! The lady is here, sir I’m going out There are some papers in the file which I want you to type There’s another thing I’m happy with your work But you’d better not waste time in unnecessary things I’m sorry, but I didn’t notice you coming How would you? You were busy admiring the photograph Is that your boyfriend? He’s a boy, all right But he’s still not a friend He’s my boss, actually It’s a cakewalk for you, in that case! Men are usually very careless If they find someone taking proper care of them they could even make good husbands! In any case, a beautiful girl like you can be had only by a very fortunate man! Here’s your rent Mark my words This boss will one day be a slave to you! Just you watch! Care for some tea? Don’t bother about bringing it I’ll fetch it myself! Here’s a set of handkerchiefs, sis I’ve bought them with the salary I’ve received Tell me something You’re normally scolding me for being careless and not looking after my things But where have you lost your hanky today? Have you sent for me, sir? – Yes
I wanted to thank you Do sit down May I fetch a pad if you want to dictate a letter? Have you ever met a careless man? What? Oh yes, I have I’m meeting one right now Me, you mean? I wonder when I’ll stop being so careless You have considered my cabin as your own and cleaned out all the mess But your carelessness can lead to a setback You could lose something precious, out of carelessness Won’t that be a pity? Your cabin was in bad shape Especially your files I remembered it from my very first day here No matter what you remember but you also have a very bad memory Pardon me? You’ve forgotten something, too – Have you remembered it then? Naturally. How can I forget something I possess? What are you staring at me for? It’s the handkerchief that you forgot! Excuse me – Yes? You’re participating in the badminton matches this time Why don’t we have a match, too? I always lose miserably, while you’re a champion Okay. But one who wins can always lose and the loser might even win a game Let’s a question of playing and you must have a match with me You can consider me game You?! What are you doing here? Funny! But I was about to ask you the same question Are you to here to make a match with someone? Not to make a match but to play one! Am I not a loyal man, sir? I’ve come all the way to watch you play goodminton ! Goodminton? What on earth is that? When a super-player like you plays bad-minton it’s bound to earn the name of good-minton ! Welcome, Ms Malti! The shuttlecock is here! Get cracking, sir! What are you doing here? – I came here for the fragrance But since you are here, you bring the spring with you! Should we start the game? What d’you think, Mr Kumar? Should we start? Why are you asking him?! – Get cracking, the two of you! The ideal moment of the day! Get, set and go! How’d he get here? – I wouldn’t know! Who’s into service, sir? – Service? Who’ll serve first? Let’s get started! You’ve lost a love-game! Oh no! He’s the champ He lost because he wanted me to win You have a heart then? I wear it on my sleeve! Keep your promise now and treat us to some Chinese food That’s a good idea! Let’s go But you don’t eat Chinese food, do you? How about your allergy? Anyway, thanks for the game I must leave now Keep this, sir You can play with it! It’s good that you called me over, madam Or they use badminton as an excuse for rape! The other day, a sixty-year old woman was lured Why did you plant the cauliflower in my cabin?
The roses are always passed on to the other girl! You can have this cauliflower and give her some, too! If I had to give her vegetables, why would I give her a cauliflower? I could give her bananas, bitter-gourd or anything! Give anything you wish! To hell with it! I wonder where they come from! Come in The score is 340 runs for 9 wickets, sir Did I ask you for the score? Go and fetch me a flower What file, sir? – Not file! A flower! A rose! What colour? – A red one will do! One like your cheek No! Like mine! Here’s the money Hurry up I’ll personally give her a rose today Welcome, Mr Kumar What perfume does your rose have today? But this is the first time I’ve brought you a rose! Now look; you bring me a rose everyday Why don’t you admit that? I haven’t turned it down, have I? Yes, I bring one everyday You like roses, don’t you? Yes. I love them. Where do you bring such beautiful roses from? I steal them! – Speak softly! Why? What if someone hears you? – I’m not scared of anyone! But I’m scared – Of whom? The boss, of course The boss? Tell you what? Put the rose in my hair and return to your cabin Okay? When will you meet me again? Tonight? – Tonight?! Where is that? In your dreams – Dreams? Wonderful! That’s the best place! Neither will the evil boss hound us nor will the fat girl be around! Just you and me just the two of us! Sit down, Mr Kumar I’ve got to ask you some important questions I’ve already put in 10 years of service in this company Do you intend to interview me all over again? Yes. You could say that How many branches do we have all over the country? 22 branches – We have 23 We are starting a new branch on the Nicobar Islands You mean, the one called Andaman and Nicobar Islands? Fantastic! Congratulations! Ever since you’ve joined the systems and communications our company is making great progress! Congratulations to you, too – Thank you. But what for? You have been given a promotion Have I? Thank you very much You are being appointed manager of the new branch The new branch at Nicobar? You mean, I’ll have to go there?! We need a responsible man there And who could be more responsible than you are? You have been misinformed, sir! I am the most irresponsible man in the organisation! It’s the truth! How can you say that? Although our office opens at 10.00 you usually walked in at 11 or 11.30 a.m But nowadays, you are here on the dot at 9.30 a.m.! That too, with a rose in hand! You’ve worked wonders with our systems and communications! But isn’t Nicobar Island very far away, sir? That’s okay. You won’t be swimming across anyway We’ll give you an air-ticket instead Even out there, you will have no real problems Although you will not find any roses around there are girls aplenty Of the man-eating variety! I’d gladly be a peon in this office! But please don’t banish me to Nicobar, sir! I’ll be ruined, sir! There’s a condition No more roses! Malti? Sit down
Let’s begin with the dictation What was he doing to you behind the glass-panel? He was putting a rose in my hair, sir A rose? I see! I’ve written that, sir – Really? Let’s proceed Did he cuddle up to you in the cab? Yes What else did he do to you in the cab? Did he talk a lot? Yes, he did He told me that I look very beautiful in a pink sari He’s right! You do look beautiful! How far did he take you in the cab? Far… far away -Very far He wanted to take me home to meet his mother He has no parents! They are dead! That’s how he lures gullible girls into visiting his house! And then… have you seen the film Insaaf Ka Tarazu? Yes, I have. So? So it’s… rape twice in succession! And then? – It’s the Courts! But I’ve already jotted that down, sir You will have to concede my request My mother has sent some special food for you Your mother has? – That’s right She’s a great cook! Check it out for yourself! I don’t doubt that But Has someone poisoned your ears against me? No In that case, you must try the food That’s a request from me as well as my mother! Sit down What will you have? – Anything you wish How’s the restaurant? You choose the menu today A vegetable-rice, a steamed potato-dish a radish-pancake, and a seasoned lentil-curry Listen – Yes Also include a dish of bitter-gourd Something wrong? Except for the bitter-gourd, we have common tastes! Do you know, when I saw you for the first time Where was that? – At the interview, of course I had a feeling that I had met you somewhere Where could that be? – In my dreams, perhaps You could really have met me earlier and forgotten me like a bad dream? Perhaps. But I won’t ever forget you now What are you doing? Won’t you eat? You finish your food first That’s the worst thing about Hindu women! Like my mother, for instance They serve others first and themselves eat later That’s not fair Who else do you have in the family? It’s just my parents and me – Is that all? Why? Must I have more? I see what you are getting at. But, no I’m surprised that even after so many years in England you still haven’t forgotten your old customs I haven’t forgotten anything, except for some terrible memories that I want to forget Thank you, O Lord!
Did you see that? – See what? Amit has been whistling! It’s a whistle of joy and happiness that which spells melody! It’s after 2 years that Amit has whistled again! Do you understand? – No, I don’t. Please explain You’re an ignorant man Don’t you remember Amit whistling all the while even as he walked, talked and ate? Since the wedding, however, he forgot his favourite whistle And he has been whistling today! Which means he is truly delighted! This is when I must talk to him about bringing our daughter-in-law home! My son – Yes, Mom? I’m delighted to see you happy today On this happy occasion then, I’ve something to say to you Sure. Go ahead, Mom – Can we bring Madhuri home? I’ve forgotten the past I can’t be blamed if it continues to haunt you It isn’t my fault either for remembering the past I can’t help it, if you have a bad memory Do you get the point? When a young man whistles after a gap of 2 years it has to be for an altogether new woman! Come closer Why are you feeling shy? Not at all. Why would I come to you, if I were shy But your eyes say something else I wish you’d look into them Your hand is freezing What’s wrong? – I’ve swallowed a mosquito! “Here we meet away from prying eyes” “Here we meet away from prying eyes” “I’m afraid, someone might see us” “We meet here, away from prying eyes” “I’m afraid, someone might see us” “A little bit of fear…” “and the overpowering magic of love” “A little bit of fear…” “and the overpowering magic of love” “Meeting on the sly has its own charm” “Here we meet away from prying eyes” “But I’m afraid someone might spot us” “No one recognise us here in this isolated place” “But our hearts would still be lonely, meeting on the sly” “The fear in your eyes and the anxiety within” “The fear in your eyes and the anxiety within” “Meeting on the sly has its own charm” “What a great weather”
“And the intoxicating winds…” “I’ve been longing for you” “Oh, do sate my thirst” “We can always meet again; why make haste?” “We can always meet again; why make haste?” “Meeting on the sly has its own charm, after all” “Let’s continue to meet away from prying eyes” “But we’re afraid, someone might see us” “Where would these longing hearts go anyway” “The world is anyway against lovers” “Let’s hide from them but don’t hide love from me” “Making love on the sly has its own charm, too” “What do we gain from meeting on the sly” “Here we meet away from prying eyes” “But we’re afraid, someone might see us” “Let’s romance openly if we must” “Let’s romance openly if we must” “Why fear the world when we’ve fallen in love” “Here we meet away from prying eyes” “I’m afraid, someone might spot us here” “Here we meet away from prying eyes” “I’m afraid, someone might spot us here” “Here we meet away from prying eyes” “I’m afraid, someone might spot us here” “Here we meet away from prying eyes” I’ve told you a thousand times that you’re making the wrong entries! The right total is 53987 And you write 33987 Doesn’t that make a difference of 20000? There’s someone to see you, sir When I asked him to sit at the reception he insisted on waiting in your cabin He claimed to be a relative of yours You’ve caught a cold, sir Would you want a pill? So, haven’t I told you You’ve caught a cold Would you want a pill That’s not necessary What is it? I’ll go and pop a pill! Where’s the guy you said was waiting for me?
That’s what I’m wondering! Where could he be…? There he is! What have you been doing in my toilet? I’ll leave now Greetings, brother-in-law! Now tell me what would we have, if not the Himalayas? Himalayas, my foot! And keep standing! Don’t sit down! Are not well? – I’ve caught a cold You shouldn’t be shouting I wanted to know when you’re taking my sister away, brother-in-law To begin with, stop calling me brother-in-law! Okay, brother-in-law – There you go again! I’ve come to you with hopes, brother-in-law I thought I’d meet you and have a chat with you! That I’d have something to drink! But never mind I’ll go and show these pictures to your parents There’s no point in tearing them! I have the negatives! Do you think you can blackmail me with this? Go ahead and show them to my parents! I don’t care! Sure, I’ll go away. But I won’t stop tailing you! Not there! This way out! I have learnt something absolutely explosive! Really? What is it? I will tell you when the time comes Whom is it about? It’s about the boss, Mr Amit Chaudhary But I will tell you only when the time comes! The right time, my foot! What’s wrong? Aren’t you well? I think I have a fever You’re running a high temperature Come on, get up – Yes madam Take this bag away Go home and relax – Who’ll complete my work? I will – Okay But call me at home, if you have any problems Who is this girl? That’s precisely what I want to ask you I hope you haven’t got your son married again! What do you mean? – I mean this girl was clinging to your son as if she were his wife! What are you talking about? They were having a ball in the seas and were even singing a duet! We meet on the sly, away from prying eyes We’re afraid, someone might see us You should be ashamed to accuse my son! Although you are visiting us after a long time I will not enquire after your health! But I want to know what insolent behaviour is this? I will not tell you about my welfare either And this is no insolence! I’ve taken pictures to back my claim! It’s Amit – Of course Who’s the girl? – It’s his private secretary Miss Malti Chaudhary – How do you know that? I had been to his office But he even refused to acknowledge me! Didn’t he acknowledge you?! – Yes, he didn’t! And he threw me out, short of pushing me! He dare do that! It’s good that he didn’t push you out Or I’d have thrown him out of the house! You live up to my expectations! – How is our daughter-in-law? How do I tell you? She’s miserable, thinking of your son all the time! Her hair is unruly and uncombed her cheeks are dry! Her eye-balls seem eager to pop out of the sockets! And she goes around the village in a trance! And she cries and wants to know why her husband has deserted her! He will come, won’t he? Won’t he accept me she asks! Hey, stop it Don’t cry Stop crying, Shreekant! He will certainly accept her! I will deal with the ass now! If I don’t impose a curfew on his love-affair I won’t claim to be a good husband!
Go on now and continue playing the private-eye Let me know, if you smell something fishy Only you can save my sister’s life from ruination, sir! Or your son is making attempt to destroy her! I must leave now Good-bye! Why did you attend office, when you aren’t keeping well? How’d I have met you, if I didn’t attend office? You don’t have to attend office till I come, too How can I possibly bunk office? Very well. But do call me from the office You will call me, won’t you? – Sure, I will What will happen now A wedding – What? If Amit loves that girl, he’ll surely want to marry her I’ll throw him out of the house for that! The ant has sprouted wings! That sounds like Amit’s car But at this hour? There’s a girl with Amit Can you see? How can I? I’m not wearing my glasses! I can’t see properly without my glasses either But I’m sure it’s the same wretch! What’s wrong, son? You’re running a temperature! Come along quickly Lie down on the bed Call the doctor My condition is worsening Yes, I will But who was the girl with you, Amit? It was my secretary She came to drop me home, because I wasn’t well You could have called us over to fetch you Greetings, sir The keys Who was the girl, Biharilal? Who was she? It was Miss Malti The master’s private Private what? – His private secretary What were they discussing in the car? Don’t feel shy. Tell us what they were talking about I couldn’t hear them well But the master called her by the name Darjeeling Could they be going to Darjeeling then? Shut up! You’re an idiot! He’s called her a darling! Did you see anything for yourself, Biharilal? I could watch them in the rear-view mirror, madam The young master lay in the girl’s lap! The lady was muttering sweet-nothings to him while the master’s temperature kept increasing and I kept feeling embarrassed! What happened then? – The master then gave it to her What? – Two time Twice kissed Gave what? – Don’t you understand? Your son has kissed her! She dare do that! – How’s the girl to blame? It was your son who kissed her! The question is why did she allow him to kiss her? And why did this idiot watch them kissing?! Let me deal with you, you peeping-tom Who’s Malti Chaudhary in this office? Malti? Who are you, sir? – And who are you? Kumar Chatterji, the chief accountant of this company Chief accountant? – Yes My name is Sadanand Chaudhary The boss’s father? Greetings, sir I want to meet Malti Chaudhary She’s in her cabin Please follow me She seems to have gone out on some work But do sit inside and wait for her Please sit down You too, madam
I want to ask you something, Chatterji I’ll explain everything without any questions I’ve spread the word of your son’s love-affair in the whole city! Since when has this affair been going on? Since it began, sir And when did it begin? – Since it got going That woman, who has enticed my son, has she been into this sort of a thing even earlier? You’re mistaken, madam There’s nothing wrong with the girl In fact, she was madly in love with me It was your son Amit who threatened me with a transfer to Nicobar Islands and won the game by unfair means! It is I who will send the girl to the back-waters! You will be happy to know, Mr Chatterjee, that I’m not against occasionally beating up silly women! Am I not right? – Nonsense! It’s always the men who are at fault! It’s they who deserve a thrashing! – You’re right, madam! It’s the boss who ought to be beaten up! As for Malti Chaudhary I’ll handle her myself! Well, all right Do warn Malti Chaudhary then, that if she doesn’t relent I’ll make life difficult for her! What are you weighing in the scale? The pros and cons, naturally! Won’t you listen to me? My in-laws visited the office today And from what I’ve heard they’re longing for their daughter-in-law I don’t like this anymore! Tell me, Shreekant why must we punish them, when they are innocent? You are right! What do you mean? – All I mean is that had you not been secretary to him, someone else would And whoever she might have been, she’d have weighed heavier on his mind! Somewhat like this! You have the upper hand today because he’s smitten by you Or else, he’d have fallen for another woman by now Let’s continue with the game There are many days and nights yet to come There’s a lot to speak about Is the driver here, Ramu? – Yes, sir But the Master’s taking the car away Where to? – Nirmal Village Chandanpur? – Yes Yes. I suggest you take leave, and accompany us What for? – To bring your wife home What’s made you decide this, all of a sudden? It wasn’t sudden We made the decision only after hearing a lot and seeing it for ourselves, too! Sure. Go ahead I must attend the office to check the accounts I’ve already checked that out at your office yesterday! They don’t speak highly of you; in fact, you’re infamous! You’d better correct that or the company stands to lose a lot! We’ll go ahead, if you don’t want to come along Let’s go Daughter-in-law, my foot! What are you dressed in? – I want to marry you! What?! – Yes! Right now! Right now? But I’d have to seek my parents’ consent Introduce me to them Everything’s going haywire! Haywire?! – Yes! I can’t wait anymore! Won’t you seek the blessings of your own parents, then? I’ll manage with your parents’ blessings! So when are you introducing me to them? I’d have to find them, I guess – Find them?! They must’ve gone shopping But I’ll find them I’ll come at 6 this evening to meet them then, okay? Have you spent the night at the office, sir? Why are you in your night-dress, sir? Your in-laws have gone to the village to bring you home? And your husband is coming here to meet your so-called parents, right? What will we do now? lf both secrets are out, all hell will break loose! Don’t worry!
I suggest you handle your husband You’re a great actress anyway! And I’ll handle the problem in the village What do you think of that? – That’s okay But where will I find a fake-Mom from? There’s a solution to every problem! When everything in the city is available on hire won’t we find a pair of parents? Please come Greetings – Greetings Kantibhai! He has arrived! Greetings How are you? Where has she gone….? She’s a strange woman! Kantibhai…! Where the hell are you? Where are you? They appear to be brother and sister And where are your parents? They’re are my parents! My mother is a Gujarati which is why she addresses him as bhai (brother) Are you a Guajarati then? – Yes My Mom is Guajarati; my father is a Bengali Greetings! -Greetings! Do sit down -Please sit Sit on this chair Evening is all right! You’re just as my daughter described you! Tall and fair-skinned; those blue eyes they remind me of film-star Raj Kapoor! Our daughter is no less! She’s fair-skinned and beautiful a real princess! D’you know what is special about you? It’s your moustache! it’s real, isn’t it? Of course! As real as yours ! Mine are real, too! That’s because my wife loves a moustache! Undoubtedly! A moustache spells masculinity I married Kantibhai only because he had a moustache And since you have a moustache, too my daughter has approved of you! We will certainly give you our daughter in marriage! But you will be a responsible man, won’t you? Of course! I will! How much of a bank-balance do you have? My bank-balance? What for? It has to do with responsibilities Only a moustache won’t do! I must have about 3 or 3.5 lakh Rupees Not 4.5 lakh Rupees? – Sure. Must be He has about 4.5 lakh Rupees We can easily ask for 80000 Rupees! No! We need a lakh! – Let’s settle for 80000! Well okay. One lakh, it will be – A lakh? What could that mean? A lakh must be paid, since you’re marrying our daughter No thank you! I will not accept a penny! Not accept! You will have to pay us a lakh instead! Pay you?! As dowry. How can there be a marriage without dowry? This is a totally wrong system! On the contrary, you ought to be happy that I’m willing to marry your daughter without any dowry And here you are… asking me to pay the dowry! What are you talking about, Mom?! We’re marrying since we love each other! Haven’t we toiled to bring you up, my dear? Do you wish to light up your house after your marriage and plunge our home in darkness? A lakh of Rupees! – A lakh? Or 50 thousand cash and 200 gram gold If have then give it or get go Radhe Shyam Jhunghun’s son has ready to give 2 lakh rupees for our daughter Am I right, darling? – Yes It’s a very reasonable deal! Grab it! That’s not much for love, is it? – Do you believe that, too?
Actually, to accept dowry is considered a social crime Besides, we love each other We’ll give you a 10/o discount, in that case I know it’s a crime to ask for dowry, son I know that very well because I’m a woman! I know how the cancer of dowry is destroying us! Our parents are coerced into paying dowry! And thereafter begins a sage of atrocities! What is that for? Because men consider women to be worth nothing! You think women are weak and helpless parasites! But it’s not true! We will prove otherwise! We will prove that women are not weak and helpless! Long live, Women’s Lib! Well, all right! Please give me some time to think it over Listen to me, darling Don’t take offence at what my parents said! Don’t take offence?! Your father’s a butcher, as far as money goes! How can I help it? That’s how all parents are! Why I can’t figure this out is because ours is a different case! There’s no money in a love-marriage! You don’t know my old man! He wouldn’t part with a penny! But if you want to marry me you’ll have to agree to the conditions of my parents I suggest you find a part-time job I ? A part-time job? They’re the only parents I have! Besides, what don’t people do in love? Can’t you do even this much for me? Sure, I will I will have to! Where could they have gone? – How would I know! Mr Chaudhary?! Greetings! What brings you here? Where have they gone, Teacher? How do I narrate their tale of woes Ever since that shameful day Madhuri and her mother left the village for good For good?! After the humiliation they were subjected to they chose to leave the village They should have died of shame, actually! No! Please don’t say that! Shreekant called on us in the city But he didn’t tell us a word of this See the lock your jokes have put on the door! Do you have the keys to unlock it then? It will never open again! You can open locks made of iron but never one that opens the doors to the hearts! Come on out What farce is Shreekant playing? My daughter’s in-laws have returned from our door! They had once returned because their son asked them to And they return today, since your son wants them to Let’s go inside Thanks a lot, Teacher I was looking for you! Here’s a bouquet! What’s up? How have got to the bouquet from a single rose? For what the boss has done, you deserve a bouquet! And I also want to congratulate you! What for? – I’ll explain Amit has lost! I’ve won the day! And you’re a free bird! I wasn’t a captive earlier, was I? It is something of the sort I’ll explain. Sit down Amit wanted to imprison you in a marriage and wanted to have all the fun by himself! But his plans have flopped! D’you know why? Because he’s already a married man! His brother-in-law came here to meet him the other day And without even divorcing the village belle
the rascal’s trying to lure you into wedlock! We are both free now! The love-story that had just begun will now blossom! But remember! I will not spare the hypocrite! I am throwing a party tomorrow to expose him! And on the occasion of his fourth wedding anniversary you will see how the guests ridicule him! What are you getting angry at me for? You should be angry with the fraud, who I’m coming over Let’s continue playing the game, sister There’s a lot more yet to come A lot more to discuss “What was he in reality…” “and what did I take him for” “How could I revere a stone-hearted man?” “What was he in reality” “And what did take him for” “All he wanted to do was to play with my feelings” “All he wanted to do was to play with my feelings” “And I thought I was betrothed to him for life” “What was he in reality” “And what did I take him for” “The face was supposed to reflect a man’s heart” “The face was supposed to reflect a man’s heart” “I mistook every expression that his face registered” “What was he in reality” “And what did I take him for” “I lost everything and was still heart-broken” “I lost everything and was still heart-broken” “And I took the pain as a gift of love” “What was he in reality” “And what did I take him for” “How could I revere a stone-hearted man” “What was he in reality” “And what did I take him for” “What was he in reality” “And what did I take him for” Get up, brother-in-law Let me rest. My son has laid me out flat! Your wife wants to touch your feet, today being the Karva Chauth day Very well This is the only day I get her to touch my feet! Bless you with all the happiness! My son was the rose who has now become a thorn Today is the day of the Karva Chauth fast Had Madhuri been here, we’ve have been together Anyway… we’re going to the temple Sure. And pray that you’re together next year You haven’t touched my feet, Saraswati! Today’s not Holi! It’s Karva Chauth I have my husband’s picture with me, although he’s away
I’ll pay my respects to him Let’s go Great is Indian culture! lf not man, his picture will do! Look at that, sister! – What is it? There! Right in the front! Why don’t you wear your glasses? What is it? There’s a girl with Amit’s picture in her hand I think it’s the same girl Amit’s in love with I suspect Amit has married her on the sly That’s possible! Or what would the wretch be doing here on this day? Let’s go! I’ll teach her a lesson today! Mother! Madhuri! It’s you?! When did you come to Bombay? You didn’t even inform me! How have you been? Where are you staying? It’s your blessing that has me happy wherever I am This is my daughter-in-law, Saraswati Although my son has not accepted her she still revers her husband on this day! This is my sister, Saraswati Hello, aunty – Bless you Am I not unfortunate to have such a useless son! He has forsaken a beautiful wife like you and is lusting after the city-bred girls! It’s true. Although it’s shameful, it’s necessary to inform you Amit is caught in the clutches of a secretary in his office While you are doing your duty as a wife that man is enticed by a shameless wretch! This is the sign of impending doom! No, Saraswati! Now that we’ve found her, we will not let that happen! Come home with me, Madhuri Let’s take a decision on this day! I beg of you! Save Amit from this destruction! Please don’t worry, Mother Everything is okay, by the grace of God The woman who has enticed your son in her trap is none other than me You? Are you Amit’s private secretary, Malti Chaudhary? Yes. I’m Madhuri and also Malti How did you work this miracle? It is the result of a woman’s sincerity and dedication I had made up my mind, that should I have the strength and should my marriage be sacred my husband would himself come back to me And that is what has happened I always knew that you and your husband dote on me But I was scared whether my husband would accept me But I’ve had enough of this now Please take me to my house – No, my dear The game isn’t over as yet Our husbands are yet to be punished My husband has played practical jokes all his life In fact, he reduced our lives to a cheap joke And my son kept looking for wisdom, through his glasses Be patient, Madhuri Let us both teach our husbands a lesson! Let’s shake hands on that, daughter-in-law! Go on! Is the cold war between father and son still on? Must you show how silly you are, the moment you arrive? Do I? You’re the sensible ones! You will learn a lesson now! What kind of a wife are you? You’re always rubbing salt in my wounds! You deserved to be thrown in a sea of salt for what you’ve done!
Who’s that? This is his private secretary Miss Malti Chaudhary Malti Chaudhary?! So you are the wretch who’s trying to rape my son! How’s Amit keeping now? Don’t you know? He died of a heart-failure! God-forbid! What nonsense! Let me speak to her – No! I won’t! Go away! Haven’t you disconnected as yet, you wretch! How can you say that, father-in-law? I’m still trying to connect and you’re talking of disconnecting ! Don’t you dare call me father-in-law ! Bloody sinner! Bloody lady bandit! Listen carefully to me! Should you even dare to look at my son I’ll use hired goons to hack you to pieces! You’re a liar, father-in-law! You call me father-in-law again! What do you mean? Didn’t you lie that Amit is dead? I’m alive, darling! Our love is alive, too! No one can separate us! Who’s that speaking on the line? Can’t you hear me speaking to the wretched woman? You witch! Sorceress! Bloody bandit! Amit is as good as dead for you! This is a cross-connection! Just hang up! So what were you saying, you cursed woman? All I want to tell you, father-in-law is the truth that love is blind! You’re right! – Right, my foot! Aren’t you ashamed to eavesdrop on us? So what did you say? That love is blind, eh? That could be the case But I’m not blind! If a whore dares eye my son I’ll have her eyes pulled out of the sockets! Why must you take the trouble? If my love is true I will send my eyes to you on a platter! Very well. Have them sent by this evening Don’t do that! It will plunge my world in darkness! Now listen, you cursed woman! We will very soon bring our daughter-in-law home and have her compete with you in a beauty-contest! Just you wait! I can’t wait Bring the village belle here If I don’t rob her of her marital status I will never boast again! Either of us lives now! Are you asleep or awake? I don’t know whether I’m asleep or awake! Whether I’m alive or dead! I understand it, Amit I understand it all Your father will never accept me Isn’t that what you’re trying to say? Give me one last chance, Malti! I’ll somehow try and bring my father around! But you love me, don’t you? Yes, I do. I love you more than I love my life Will you still love me, even if I’m not in a position to pay your parents? You don’t need to ask – That’s it then! Let’s have a registered marriage in court! My Mom will stand witness I’ll give your parents a written undertaking that they can have half my salary till such time as their demand of dowry is met! Isn’t that okay? – Okay No power on earth can stop us now! Not your parents Not my cruel father! Let’s meet at the Registrar’s office at 4 p.m. the day after, then. Okay? You will come there, won’t you? But remember This will be the last scene of our love-story Listen
We are doomed! What are you doing here? Can’t you see me reading the newspapers? You can read the news tomorrow when our son figures in the headlines! Why? Is he being given a national award? He’s my son, after all! – Your son? Big deal! Let’s hurry up… Amit is about to play courtesan What?! Courtesan? Has he had a sex-change? He’s going to commit suicide the way the courtesan did! He’s burying himself alive! He dares! What are you up to, my son? I’m sacrificing myself in the name of love! You are about to undertake a great deed, my son! It will immortalise our family name! But to bury yourself in sand and cement is a cheap way You should have thought of a better way No! This is how I will die! Those last bricks will cement my death, the moment I signal it! The path of my life will be shut forever! My darling son! Deign to tell me whom are you dying for? – For Malti! Scoundrel! I must place the last brick then! You will be hanged for that! – I’ll bribe my way out! Listen! Don’t kill our son! I’ve had every experience in life except that of murder Let me satisfy myself today Let’s prepare to leave for the crematorium! What a bloody father! That’s 200 grams of gold, okay? Okay, aunty I get it! Go on! He’s coming this way! He’ll end his life, he says! Big deal! But I’m no mean father I’m a dictator myself! What’s this? Gold? Come and take a look! We have stolen gold in our house! That’s not stolen gold, Mister! It’s my hard-earned savings! What nonsense are you talking? It’s not nonsense I’m telling you something! Okay. Go on Take a good look, Mr Chaudhary! Or show it to a jeweller! The gold is for real! I know that. I’m not blind But what is it for? You had once asked for 200 grams of gold to accept my sister as your daughter-in-law There is the 200 grams! I’ve kept my promise You must honour your word now Or I’ll assume that you are a two-tongued fraud! I wish you had landed this slap on me when I joked about the gold You have slapped me repeatedly by showing me this gold today! I had only joked with you! And my son Amit, who hates village folks cashed in on my jokes I want nothing of this! I already have it all! Come with me Take a look at the jewellery and money! I’m perhaps the only man in these times of robberies who keeps no less than half a million in cash! Who does it all belong to? To my son, of course And to my daughter-in-law My real treasure and the wealth of this family is peace and love and my daughter-in-law
I want nothing but my daughter-in-law! Listen! We are doomed! There’s terrible news from Madhuri! May I read it? – Why must you ask! Go on! My greetings to those who consider women an object of pleasure and a mere commodity I’m sending you 200 grams of gold which I want you all to lick to your heart’s satisfaction! I’m a modern woman, who is standing on her own two feet I am taking my own decisions And I have decided to dispatch to hell my useless husband and my greedy father-in-law! I’m getting married again, without a divorce The fortunate Madhuri! No! This cannot be! I won’t let that happen! You mustn’t let that happen, Shreekant! It would kill me! I wouldn’t live anymore! I beg of you, Shreekant! I beg at your feet! You are making a sinner out of me, sir! It is I who has sinned. To play such jokes is also a sin I am the sinner But ask your sister not to punish me like this Only you can help me now I swear by God I’ll never play such a joke again! Please forgive me, sir! I’ve hurt your feelings! I can’t bear to see your plight anymore! You will light the Diwali lamps tomorrow only after my sister arrives in this house! That is a solemn promise I make to you! Let’s embrace! Malti will surely arrive Don’t worry She must be getting ready or even feeling shy Although this is a registered marriage, she can’t forget our customs I hope we don’t miss the date in the process! That’s what I’m really worried about I have a feeling that she will surely turn up Maybe she’s gone to buy a garland I told her that I hate this hackneyed customs If I had to adhere to these customs why’d I get married again in this manner? No one knows that you are already married! Speak softly, Mom! What are you doing?! My left-eye is fluttering, Mom! I suspect we have a calamity on hand! You shouldn’t utter such inauspicious words, my son There she is! What’s that, Malti? You have matrimonial vermillion in your hair?! It’s I who must apply the vermillion on you! I see! This is Malti then! Is it your custom to apply vermillion before marriage? What’s all that about? It’s vermillion. The marital status of a woman! Stop joking, Malti! You’re going to give me a heart-attack! You should have had a heart-attack the day you walked out on an innocent village girl trembling and crying, even after you had married her! Had you a heart, you’d have suffered an attack the day you feigned love for me, without telling me that you’re a married man!
She knows everything, Amit! What happens now? Keep quiet, mother How can you do this, Mother? Even as your first daughter- in-law still lives how can you stand witness in your son’s second marriage? I couldn’t help it! My love for my son has blinded me! You have put on act with me; and so did I with you You are a married man; and I’m a married woman When you had the right to fall in love, inspite of being married, I have the same right, too! She’s right, Amit – Quiet! Despite all this, I still have a lot of respect for you Bless me then that my return to my husband be auspicious and God-blessed May you be happy There’s only one way out now, son Let’s bring Madhuri home on this day of Diwali The second wife has fled with her husband We only have the first daughter-in-law now There’s a great awakening among women these days I hope the your first wife doesn’t marry someone else, too! Why are you laughing? – I was reminded of something! Isn’t this how you paced up and down when Amit was born? What else could I do? I was expecting my son then And I’m expecting my daughter-in-law now Why hasn’t she arrived? – You have changed for good But your son is still as fickle-minded as ever What if he refuses to accept Malti I’m not a fool either! Look at these documents! I have bequeathed all my property and wealth to the daughter-in-law! Let me see how he refuses to accept her! Daughter-in-law! Come along We have the Goddess here in person this auspicious day Do come in, daughter-in-law and bless this house Come in, dear No! I have already sinned! Do not commit me to anymore sins! We have all made some mistake or the other But God has forgiven us and made you return to us Take care of your home now – Isn’t her husband at home? Don’t even utter his name! I don’t want to hide anything from you, dear Amit has really heaped humiliation on me He has ruined the family’s reputation But don’t you worry! If he still does not come to his senses I will throw him out of the house Look; I have bequeathed everything to you All my wealth and estate! Please don’t say that that can never happen! Because I’m Madhuri and Malti, too! What?! – That’s right! What she says is true When our son rejected her she had to strive and stand on her own two feet She found a job in Amit’s office and enticed him as Malti I had to turn Malti in order to win back my husband Fantastic! You are the epitome of all virtue! Does the ass know the truth yet? Who’s that? – The ass! Amit! No. He doesn’t Fantastic! This is going to be fun! I have now started believing in your God, too! He will come back, all right Where would he go anyway? Take daughter-in-law upstairs, Saraswati I’ll deal with the ass! All my dreams are fulfilled today, Shreekant Of course. You had to realise your dreams As for Amit let him return. And see how I deal with him!
When have I turned Pop from Dad ? Since I’ve turned what I am Are you drunk? – What else could I do? My father has been drinking to my grief, all my life To drown my sorrows then, I had some liquor today I haven’t had much it’s only 10 or 12 drinks Listen, son There’s no son and father anymore. It’s all over! Throw that cursed bottle away And look who’s here Your brother-in-law, Shreekant – Greetings, brother-in-law! Damn the brother-in-law! I’ll tell you today what you’d have, if not the Himalayas! You’d have a great wall in my father instead! Who’d destroy the world with his misplaced ideals! And they’d be forced to like bitter-gourd! What are you saying, Amit?! We wanted to give you a piece of good news What good news? – You’ll get a slap You are our only son In your happiness lies our own happiness, too We will forget your wife Madhuri, as you have We will also get you married to your lover, Malti Yes! Let’s forget everything else, except Malti! She feigned love for me! She has cheated me! I wouldn’t want to set my eyes on her ever again! She has betrayed me! We want to forget just what you are trying to We can even bring Madhuri home, should you be willing What joke is this between Madhuri and Malti?! I want neither! Neither the village-belle nor the city-bred! I will remain a bachelor all my life And I will show everyone how you have ruined my life! You have! A wicked father has! Who has killed and mauled his only son! Don’t worry! Everything will be fine, the moment he goes upstairs You?! What the hell are you doing here? Forgive me I had no other choice You scheming bitch! You first pretended to fall in love with me! And you’ve gotten into my house now! Get the hell out of here! Get out, I say! I will end the drama you’ve begun! Get out! Not a word from you! Listen to me – Come on! Let’s go! What’s that? – The marriage altar What do you mean? – I’ll explain Ladies and gentlemen Hold it, you idiot! How dare you address them without our presence? Get on with your speech! Ladies and gentlemen you mustn’t have heard or seen a marriage of this kind A man is marrying his wife for the second time today What does that mean? Just as I had humiliated my wife in public at the wedding-altar one day I now apologise to my wife in your presence with folded hands What’s that you’re doing? I married Madhuri during the days when I was blinded by the glasses of stupidity My father cast a shadow in one of the lens! It did take time But I realised the truth
I was the only filth around my rose-like wife And also – Your father! Before this sacred fire, around which we have taken the vows I choose Madhuri as my companion till eternity! Please forgive me, Madhuri Don’t say that! But how did you Don’t be angry, my dear I couldn’t see him upset And so I told him the whole truth Forgive him, dear I knew the bitter-gourd would drill some sense into him! I’ll answer you today, Shreekant Had it not been for the Himalayas What would we have then? We’d have the daughter-in-law!