Off Broadway's Drunk Shakespeare | Talks at Google

HENRY FAULKNER: Good afternoon, and welcome to Talks at presents “Drunk Shakespeare.” [APPLAUSE] Yes We are very excited to have this show here This is an amazing production, a self-professed “drinking club with a Shakespeare problem.” They have come today to perform and wow you all, and especially on Take Your Parents to Work Day How many parents? It’s a dark room, by applause [APPLAUSE] There we go But you’re all very polite I like that A little bit of housekeeping Before we get started, phones, laptops, if you have a Zune, anything that makes noise, if you could turn it off Silence it And rather than have me explain everything, we will welcome the cast for “Drunk Shakespeare” to the stage I’m going to turn this over right now, so that we can set what’s about to happen for you, to the very talented, the very lovely future Tony award winner, Mike Sause [APPLAUSE] MIKE SAUSE: Future Tony award winner? Ladies and gentlemen, friends, Romans, people who think an iPhone X is just a fancy, expensive Samsung Galaxy, lend me your ears We are the Drunk Shakespeare Society And it is an honor to be here with you today There are some of the most brilliant minds in all of the world in this building And then there’s also people that thought Google Plus was really going to take off We are the Drunk Shakespeare Society And we gather every night in a hidden library on 43rd and Eighth to pay homage to the Swan of Avon, the brilliant Bard, the eloquent Elizabethan, of course, I’m talking of William Shakespeare! WHIT LEVENBERGER: Whoo! [APPLAUSE] CAITLIN MORRIS: Good man Good man MIKE SAUSE: Now, folks, what makes us different than your average run of the mill, stick up your ass Shakespeare company is that we have found that Shakespeare, his poetry was for everybody, not just the well-to-do academics watching from above, but also these inebriated groundlings, these belligerent folk who gave their day’s wage to laugh at a well-penned dick joke Thank you for coming, sir Ladies and gentlemen, we have been asked today to curate a special brief and boozy rendition of Shakespeare’s star-crossed lovers And we are going to celebrate the only way we know how, by having one of our very own society members give in to the muse, release their performance to the spirits That’s just a fancy way of saying we’re going to get someone hammered and throw them into a Shakespeare play So your drunk actor today, drumroll, please! WHIT LEVENBERGER: Get it Come again MIKE SAUSE: Give it up for your drunk actor, Caitlin Morris! [APPLAUSE] CAITLIN MORRIS: What? 2:30 on a Friday? What is my life? Aw, yeah Where my people at? WHIT LEVENBERGER: Yes CAITLIN MORRIS: Oh, good Hands in the air Yeah, good Thank you, sir Thank you MIKE SAUSE: That one guy CAITLIN MORRIS: He was ready MIKE SAUSE: Caitlin has been day drinking like it’s Sunday brunch in Williamsburg And we’re going to add a little bit more spice to her life in the form of Bulleit bourbon We have six shots of Bulleit right now, four of them are going to Caitlin But two of them are for two very lucky audience members, to prove to you this is real alcohol she’s about to get drank on, OK? Now we understand this is Bring Your Parents to Work Day, because most of you are millennials, and you won’t have children till you’re 50 So could I please have a volunteer with their parent to come drink? Who would like to come drink a shot with their parent? CAITLIN MORRIS: Come on, what’s better family bonding than that? MIKE SAUSE: Oh, no, we saw you in back We saw you in the back Come on up! CAITLIN MORRIS: Come on up! MIKE SAUSE: Hurry, hurry, hurry up! CAITLIN MORRIS: Come on up! All right WHIT LEVENBERGER: Aw, that’s– yeah, get up here! MIKE SAUSE: Yeah, take your time We don’t have all day WHIT LEVENBERGER: Don’t worry about it It’s good CAITLIN MORRIS: Oh my god, did Mom initiate that? MIKE SAUSE: Well, Mom was the one doing it WHIT LEVENBERGER: Yeah! MIKE SAUSE: How’s it going? Come on up Come on up WHIT LEVENBERGER: Yeah MIKE SAUSE: Yeah, watch your step, my dear What’s your name? ELISE: Elise MIKE SAUSE: Elise and? NICK: Nick MIKE SAUSE: Nick Elise and Nick Give it up for Elise and Nick, everybody CAITLIN MORRIS: Yes, snaps Snaps MIKE SAUSE: So can you tell us what your son does? ELISE: No [LAUGHTER] WHIT LEVENBERGER: Go ahead Any shot you want Take any one you’d like, not that one MIKE SAUSE: Ooh Gambit CAITLIN MORRIS: OK All right So this is to you guys Thank you for loving alcohol as much as I do And I hope you got all your projects done this morning Cheers to you! Woo! MIKE SAUSE: Now, is that real alcohol? NICK: Mm-hmm CAITLIN MORRIS: She’s sipping it! MIKE SAUSE: I like how mom’s a sipper And the son’s just like, let’s just do this CAITLIN MORRIS: Good You can savor that Just take it back to your seat It’s good WHIT LEVENBERGER: Yeah, just take them CAITLIN MORRIS: You’re awesome Thank you MIKE SAUSE: Give it up for them, everybody Elise and Nick CAITLIN MORRIS: You know what they say, a family that drinks together, stays together WHIT LEVENBERGER: Or fights a lot on Thanksgiving CAITLIN MORRIS: And Christmas OK This next shot, you know, I would like to raise a glass to all the amazing work that you guys do here It really is, like, incredibly shiny and perfect

And specifically, I want to give a shout out to whoever created the algorithm that ensures that every time I type my name into Google search, a picture of me in the ensemble of “Kiss Me, Kate” from high school comes up Thank you for your service Cheers [APPLAUSE] Oh, my god OK Oh Sorry that was a little burp Sorry This next shot I would like to dedicate to funfetti cupcakes [APPLAUSE] AUDIENCE: Whoo! CAITLIN MORRIS: They’re the best of all the cupcakes They’re my favorite Thank you so much Thank you Since I do have this platform, I would like to take a moment to discuss politics No, I’m kidding I’m not going to do that I’m not I’m just kidding No, I just want to thank you guys for coming out I know this is like a really random thing to be doing in the middle of your work day with your parents But imagine how much weirder it is for me, you know Thank you for being here Thank you for all you do to support Warby Parker There’s some amazing eyewear in the audience WHIT LEVENBERGER: Really good frames MIKE SAUSE: Yeah CAITLIN MORRIS: I hope you guys have fun, and TGIF WHIT LEVENBERGER: Let’s go! MIKE SAUSE: Give it up for Caitlin! She’s four shots in, everybody CAITLIN MORRIS: [MUMBLING] MIKE SAUSE: And now we’re going to let that settle inside of Caitlin for a little bit CAITLIN MORRIS: It’s jumping around inside me right now MIKE SAUSE: And we’re going to turn it over to a moderated Q&A with our moderator, Mr. Henry Faulkner, and our creative team– our producer, Scott Griffin; our director, David Hudson; and our resident director, Lisa Klages [APPLAUSE] CAITLIN MORRIS: Woo! WHIT LEVENBERGER: Pronounced with a lay-gus MIKE SAUSE: Yeah Klages CAITLIN MORRIS: Ah WHIT LEVENBERGER: Hey, how’s it going? MIKE SAUSE: All right Thank you guys for coming out DAVID HUDSON: Yeah CAITLIN MORRIS: Ireland Cool shirt, thanks HENRY FAULKNER: So David and Scott, as the creators of this show– let’s go back first to the history How long has this show been running? SCOTT GRIFFIN: Sure, so– HENRY FAULKNER: There’s a little switch on the side CAITLIN MORRIS: We don’t work in tech So we don’t– HENRY FAULKNER: No SCOTT GRIFFIN: How’s that? HENRY FAULKNER: We barely do SCOTT GRIFFIN: So, the show’s been going for about 3 and 1/2 years We’ve done almost 1,400 performances And one of the three performers you’re seeing today has been with us since the very beginning And you can try and guess who that is Someone who’s done almost 800 shows WHIT LEVENBERGER: God, help SCOTT GRIFFIN: You can place bets DAVID HUDSON: 20% of those have been drunk WHIT LEVENBERGER: Yeah DAVID HUDSON: More than you know, but that’s fair SCOTT GRIFFIN: Do you want to hear about the beginning of the show, how it came about? HENRY FAULKNER: Yeah Because this is highly unusual, I would imagine I mean, that I’m aware of, other Broadway shows are not– consistently cast members are drunk But it could be true So how did this come about? SCOTT GRIFFIN: So, I have a background as a software engineer and an accountant from Australia And after doing that for about 15 years, I decided to quit I was, like, I want to do something more– HENRY FAULKNER: We feel you SCOTT GRIFFIN: –entertaining So I spent a year looking for ideas for theatre productions And then came across this idea of doing drinking and Shakespeare And fortunately, I was introduced to David Hudson and his wife Laurie and their friend Beth Gardner And they have a company called Three Day Hangover, which is appropriate And they create classic plays in bars And I think it was just kind of a perfect match And we started work on this show, “Drunk Shakespeare.” HENRY FAULKNER: And then– so then how do you put out the call of, hey, we’re looking for Shakespearean actors, also drunks? CAITLIN MORRIS: [LAUGHS] DAVID HUDSON: The kind of remarkable thing is we literally just put it on Playbill, which is the theatre website, the casting call And we got close to 1,200 submissions the first time around So clearly actors in New York were interested in drinking onstage, excited about the idea SCOTT GRIFFIN: Getting paid to drink and perform every night DAVID HUDSON: And we hosted some auditions And we saw probably about 250 people the first time around, over the course of two or three days And we saw some really incredible auditions We had one girl chug an entire bottle of wine in front of us, and then do her– HENRY FAULKNER: And that’s my question Do they come to the audition drunk? Do they get drunk while they’re there? Are they acting drunk? DAVID HUDSON: We didn’t ask them to come to the audition drunk We got a lot of people who did come in They brought maybe drunken resumes, their history as a drunken person SCOTT GRIFFIN: One girl brought– like, her friend had written a resume, a reference letter for her HENRY FAULKNER: A drunken reference letter DAVID HUDSON: About what she’s like HENRY FAULKNER: You can find them on LinkedOut SCOTT GRIFFIN: Binge drinking many times, and she’s, you know, a happy drunk DAVID HUDSON: We had many people bring us gifts of small nip bottles of bourbon or whatever, just trying to help– MIKE SAUSE: Bribery DAVID HUDSON: –win them over Yeah MIKE SAUSE: Bribery SCOTT GRIFFIN: Yeah DAVID HUDSON: So it was quite fun HENRY FAULKNER: And then you’ve got to direct drunkards at that point

DAVID HUDSON: Yes HENRY FAULKNER: You don’t what kind of a drunk you’re dealing with until you’re in the moment CAITLIN MORRIS: Mm-hmm DAVID HUDSON: Yeah, I mean, we don’t– so the rehearsal process is sober, which is fun We spend a lot of time focusing on the Shakespeare and focusing on the comedy of it, really trying to get everybody on the same page with how the story is going to be told And the amazing thing is, is that out of the now probably 25 to 30 people who have been in the company over the course of 3 and 1/2 years, we’ve always had really fun, awesome people who have come in and have been great drunks And so we’ve been very lucky in that regard But it’s nice We spend a lot of time just playing and having fun And then the first time they drink is in front of an audience, which is exciting for everyone CAITLIN MORRIS: And scary DAVID HUDSON: Especially the audience– so they get to see some wild and crazy choices that are made in the moment HENRY FAULKNER: So, Lisa, on that note, what is the wildest thing, either that you’ve seen from a cast member or an audience member? LISA KLAGES: Oh, wow So we sort of have a mantra among the society, which is that anything can happen And that comes from both the actors and the audience We have had actors at one point, one actor issued a challenge to another actor And when he lost the challenge, the drunk actor shaved his initials into his chest hair So it goes as crazy as that I think what– HENRY FAULKNER: During the show? LISA KLAGES: During the show WHIT LEVENBERGER: During the show, yeah LISA KLAGES: In front of an audience, absolutely Anything can happen HENRY FAULKNER: OSHA must love you guys LISA KLAGES: I mean, our casts are amazing at taking something ridiculous that the audience brings into the room and just parlaying it into something awesome And like any of the other shows, we get audience members who have cell phones go off during the show And one of our actors heard a cell phone and ran over and answered it, and then proceeded to do their entire monologue to this person And then about 40 minutes later, the person that was on the phone shows up at our theater They were so excited by what had happened that they came to watch the whole rest of the show CAITLIN MORRIS: That was you, right? HENRY FAULKNER: That is solid marketing Yeah CAITLIN MORRIS: Yeah, it is WHIT LEVENBERGER: Person to person, door to door LISA KLAGES: You never know Anything can happen HENRY FAULKNER: All right And so for the actors– Caitlin, Mike, and Whit– what’s your background? How do you prepare for a show like this? CAITLIN MORRIS: Years of drinking No, I’m kidding That’s totally inappropriate Don’t do that It’s bad for you It’s bad for your liver I went to school for acting And I did some classical training at school But then I also moved to the city and started doing comedy and improv and stuff So it was kind of the perfect combination of things And yeah, I also do like alcohol But not too much I’m safe MIKE SAUSE: My background is not– HENRY FAULKNER: “Do alcohol.” How you’d describe it in, like, 11th grade CAITLIN MORRIS: Yeah MIKE SAUSE: I mean, I’ve been an improviser in New York since 2012 That’s pretty much my main training I didn’t go to acting school I have an English degree, which I guess works for this show in some ways But yeah, mostly improv, sketch comedy, stuff like that WHIT LEVENBERGER: Yeah, I come from the Shakespeare side of things Before this show– this is the first, like, real comedy show I’ve ever been in– I did, like, every off, off, unpaid Shakespeare show under the sun, a lot of them, like, one night performances, not rehearsed sort of thing So I came to the show more from that side But it’s been a wild ride It’s been a lot of fun, you know DAVID HUDSON: 3 and 1/2 years later WHIT LEVENBERGER: Yeah HENRY FAULKNER: What are your favorite Shakespeare plays? MIKE SAUSE: I mean, it’s completely hackneyed to say it, but “Hamlet.” I mean, it’s– CAITLIN MORRIS: It’s a good one MIKE SAUSE: –cliche, but– HENRY FAULKNER: It’s cliche for a reason MIKE SAUSE: –yeah, it’s my favorite one I just saw the one at The Public with Oscar Isaac, and it was– CAITLIN MORRIS: Yum MIKE SAUSE: –incredible Keegan-Michael Key was my favorite part, though CAITLIN MORRIS: Yeah Whit? WHIT LEVENBERGER: I’m a “Twelfth Night” guy Love “Twelfth Night.” HENRY FAULKNER: Ooh WHIT LEVENBERGER: Yeah Well, it’s a really– the great thing about “Twelfth Night” is there isn’t a bad role in it So if you’re in the show, you’re going to have fun And all of the characters are so distinct from one another And they’re all completely insane in opposing and fun ways And I’ve never not enjoyed seeing “Twelfth Night.” Which is– I’ve really unenjoyed a lot of shows So that’s a good thing CAITLIN MORRIS: Um, “Shakespeare in Love.” They have the best sex scenes MIKE SAUSE: I cannot– CAITLIN MORRIS: Whatever Or I like “King Lear,” too Ugh MIKE SAUSE: Did you just give an “ugh” for “King Lear”? HENRY FAULKNER: So that’s– yeah, if you’re scoring this at home, thumbs up for “Shakespeare in Love,” eh for “King Lear.” CAITLIN MORRIS: It’s impressive HENRY FAULKNER: So is it Three Day Hangover who’s also produced “Drunkle Vanya,” which is a Chekhov adaptation? DAVID HUDSON: Yes HENRY FAULKNER: Do you just start with the name and then work backwards? DAVID HUDSON: That’s the way to do it, I think

That’s Marketing 101 right there HENRY FAULKNER: Is someone writing this down? SCOTT GRIFFIN: I think someone is MIKE SAUSE: Yeah, this is so freaky CAITLIN MORRIS: Yeah, that’s amazing MIKE SAUSE: Everything’s being transcribed in the moment– laughter, laughter in parentheses [LAUGHTER] CAITLIN MORRIS: Caitlin Morris for President! HENRY FAULKNER: Right You know, it’ll be freaky in a moment when it starts anticipating MIKE SAUSE: Yeah DAVID HUDSON: Yeah, we did “Drunkle Vanya” in off-Broadway this past winter at the Russian Samovar on 52nd and Eighth But we’ve also done a bunch of other shows We did a boozy version of “Dracula,” where we changed the famous vampire slayer Van Helsing to Van Yuengling [LAUGHTER] CAITLIN MORRIS: Always had a Yuengling, like, on the– DAVID HUDSON: We did a two-person version of the Henry plays, where we kind of mashed all of them together, that culminated in the audience doing a massive 150 cup game of beer pong, just hurling beer pong balls at the middle of the room, which was very fun And yeah, we’ve got some good ideas coming down the pipeline We’re thinking Wasted Williams, or something maybe like that, a little Tennessee Williams’ “Streetcar” drunken HENRY FAULKNER: Ooh DAVID HUDSON: So that’s some good stuff HENRY FAULKNER: OK DAVID HUDSON: Yeah HENRY FAULKNER: Fantastic CAITLIN MORRIS: Did someone say “Star Wars?” Oh, Stella DAVID HUDSON: Stella Artois WHIT LEVENBERGER: Stella for star, you know? There you go HENRY FAULKNER: And you perform this– how many times a week are you doing this? Because you’re doing two shows– SCOTT GRIFFIN: So yeah, we currently do about seven or eight shows a week over the summer And then over winter, in between Christmas and New Year, if you have family in town, come and see the show We do about 15 shows in one week MIKE SAUSE: We have a two-show night on a Tuesday HENRY FAULKNER: So all right So let’s break that down for a minute Because if there’s two shows a night– so somebody gets hammered in the first show MIKE SAUSE: Yeah HENRY FAULKNER: Does that actor then get more hammered in the second show, or does the second show just have more drunks? WHIT LEVENBERGER: No, no It’s one person The idea being that it’s better to have one very, very flat tire– [LAUGHTER] –than two flat tires You might as well just let the wheel just hit the rim on the road, let it spark at that point It’s just easier to deal with SCOTT GRIFFIN: So really, did we say in the beginning what the show is? I’m just thinking, people We have five actors Four of them are sober, and one of them is drunk And we try and do a Shakespearean play in 90 minutes That’s the show HENRY FAULKNER: That’s a perfect encapsulation SCOTT GRIFFIN: Hence, the flat tire joke HENRY FAULKNER: Yeah So the second show is really the one you want to be at DAVID HUDSON: The 10:00 PM– the second show, the late show– is always a wild ride There’s a lot of crazy stuff that happens Because not only is the actor double drinking, but it’s usually like a 10 o’clock show So most of the audience has pre-gamed and showed up, you know, well-lubricated as well So they’re ready to party HENRY FAULKNER: There’s just like plastic– sheets on the floor Wow All right And at this point, do you sort of have a sense of the other actors? Like, I kind of know how Mike is when he’s a little sauced? It’s actually your name MIKE SAUSE: That’s my name Yeah It’s not a stage name, either CAITLIN MORRIS: Yeah No, I feel like once you do a couple performances, you kind of know what kind of drunk they are And sometimes that means, like, batten down the hatches Everyone’s going to get weird Sometimes it just means, like, watch your ear drums Because some people are like screamy drunk I am kind of a screamy drunk MIKE SAUSE: Yes DAVID HUDSON: Yes, you are CAITLIN MORRIS: So, sorry in advance for this mike situation in the back Good luck with levels MIKE SAUSE: Doing a lot of– CAITLIN MORRIS: But generally, everyone’s, like, really fun and just, like, down to clown DAVID HUDSON: Yeah CAITLIN MORRIS: Does that mean sex? WHIT LEVENBERGER: Yes Yes, it does CAITLIN MORRIS: I said that the other day HENRY FAULKNER: A very specific kind, I think CAITLIN MORRIS: OK, OK WHIT LEVENBERGER: I think, yeah, I think the– HENRY FAULKNER: Puffy shoes, and– WHIT LEVENBERGER: The thing about preparing for this show is that in a normal stage production, it’s this kind of very rigid world that you live in Because you have to hit your marks so the lights can get you And you have to kind of do this very intense choreography on this stage to kind of do the director’s vision But in our show, the acceptable space of what is allowed in our room or in our show on a given night is much, much broader And so the real preparation for the show is just having a really intense knowledge of the people you work with, what they will be and will not be comfortable with doing Who is the audience in the room? What kind of jokes will they like? What kind of jokes will they not like? Yeah, so it’s more about just kind of having a feel for the people you’re working with on any given night HENRY FAULKNER: In that vein, Lisa, do you ever have people who just show up, like, I had no idea this is what I had signed up for? LISA KLAGES: Yeah I mean, we definitely get people some of whom have Shakespeare backgrounds, some people are into improv, and some people just read “The New York Times” and heard about us in “The New York Times.”

So yeah, the audience is very diverse And we as a cast and an ensemble talk throughout the show Like, these jokes are landing These aren’t Let’s adjust So it’s an active living process HENRY FAULKNER: All right, live theater Caitlin, how are you feeling? CAITLIN MORRIS: I am just ready to sit on a couple laps [LAUGHTER] HENRY FAULKNER: I want that to be a metaphor CAITLIN MORRIS: I’m going to sit on– I’m going to sit on Shakespeare’s lap HENRY FAULKNER: Sit on Shakespeare’s lap? CAITLIN MORRIS: Yeah HENRY FAULKNER: All right CAITLIN MORRIS: [LAUGHS] HENRY FAULKNER: I think his lap may be ready CAITLIN MORRIS: Yeah, I think it is MIKE SAUSE: Let’s do this HENRY FAULKNER: Let’s do it MIKE SAUSE: All right Well, Caitlin is sufficiently inebriated CAITLIN MORRIS: Oh, really quick, just add me on LinkedIn, please MIKE SAUSE: Don’t– don’t– CAITLIN MORRIS: No, it would help– MIKE SAUSE: They don’t own LinkedIn WHIT LEVENBERGER: Not the right room CAITLIN MORRIS: I’m a professional! It’s going to help my situation WHIT LEVENBERGER: Think of other social networks CAITLIN MORRIS: No, I can’t think of any MIKE SAUSE: All right Strap in, nerds Hold onto your Chromebooks Put on your Google Glass And whatever you do, for God’s sake, do not reply-all to the company diversity memo We are the Drunk Shakespeare Society And please enjoy this 15 minutes’ traffic of our stage CAITLIN MORRIS: Three, two, one– UNISON: Shakespeare! WHIT LEVENBERGER: Two households, both alike in dignity MIKE SAUSE: In fair Verona, where we lay our scene CAITLIN MORRIS: Ancient br– [RASPBERRY] From ancient grudge break to new mutiny, where civil blood makes civil hands dirty WHIT LEVENBERGER: It’s not From forth the fatal loins of these two foes– MIKE SAUSE: A pair of star-crossed lovers take their life CAITLIN MORRIS: Who misadventured piteous overthrows do with their death bury the hatchet MIKE SAUSE: Oh CAITLIN MORRIS: Sorry, I’m sorry So, start of the play, Capulets verse Montagues in a blood feud for as long as anyone can remember This is a major rivalry, you guys We’re talking about, like, white wine versus red wine drinkers We’re talking T Swift fans v. T Swift haters We’re talking deplorables and snowflakes, you know what I’m saying? So there are fights breaking out in the streets, indiscriminate thumb biting, hashtag shit’s going down So now we know what’s happening, right? Now we’re going to introduce our players for tonight Our title character, Romeo Montague WHIT LEVENBERGER: Ay me! Sad hours seem long CAITLIN MORRIS: That’s so good That’s played by Whit Levenberger And much like Whit, Romeo is like that misfit theater kid with too many feelings WHIT LEVENBERGER: Yeah, I’m a 30-year-old man playing a 16-year-old What does that say about me? CAITLIN MORRIS: You’re useful No wrinkles Juliet Capulet will be played by moi And much like me, Juliet is super-popular and really beautiful and knows the perfect angle to take a good selfie, also maybe peaked in middle school So lastly, playing everyone else is Mike Sause MIKE SAUSE: Yeah CAITLIN MORRIS: Super So at the top of the play, my parents, the Capulets, are throwing this rager, right? And they’re trying to get a head count But everyone’s replying interested to the Facebook event, so they have no idea what their numbers are So they send out this messenger, right, to relay all the information and invite people and get a head count But he works for Equifax So he actually not only shares the party information with literally everyone he sees on the street, he also shares home addresses, social security numbers, dates of birth One of the people he shares information with is Romeo, who would never be invited because he’s their mortal enemy But Romeo hears about the party He hears that his former love, Rosaline, is going to be there Like I said, a lot of feelings So prepare yourself So he decides he has to go check it out So he shows up to the party You guys remember this part He and Juliet spot each other through an aquarium And the first thing he notices is Juliette’s enormous and perky set of angel wings And so young and beautiful Leonardo DiCaprio launches into this love ballad, right, from the bow of a ship while she’s frantically– he’s forging checks And then he crawls into the carcass of a dead horse to keep him warm in the winter WHIT LEVENBERGER: You didn’t see “The Revenant,” did you? CAITLIN MORRIS: No No WHIT LEVENBERGER: That’s clear CAITLIN MORRIS: Anyway, the point is they fall in love instantly, which sets, like, a super-unhealthy standard for romance for the rest of time But they meet, right? And they dance bachata, and then they’re separated And then the next time we see them is the scene de la scenes, the most famous scene ever What is it? MIKE SAUSE: When Alan Rickman falls off the Nakatomi– CAITLIN MORRIS: You’re dead to me WHIT LEVENBERGER: No OK It’s Swayze, but it’s the second time they’re outside the roadhouse And it’s the fight He doesn’t want to kill the guy CAITLIN MORRIS: No No! It is the balcony scene WHIT LEVENBERGER: Oh, that one’s pretty good CAITLIN MORRIS: Yeah, OK, let’s make a balcony MIKE SAUSE: OK CAITLIN MORRIS: Oh, no Ginger ale down It’s fine MIKE SAUSE: Jesus Christ CAITLIN MORRIS: It’s fine Hey, hey, hey It’s all right Can we get a clean up on aisle four? Thank you Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou, Romeo? Deny thy father and refuse thy name Or, if thou will not, be but sworn my love And I’ll no longer be a Capulet ‘Tis but thy name that is my enemy Thou art thyself, though, not a Montague What’s Montague? It is nor hand nor foot nor arm nor face nor any other part belonging to a man Oh, be some other name! That which we call a Magnolia Cupcake by any other name

would smell as sweet So Romeo would, were he not Romeo called, retain that dear perfection which he owes without that title Romeo, doff thy name And for thy name, which is no part of thee, take all myself WHIT LEVENBERGER: But soft, what like through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon, who is already sick and pale with grief that thou her maid art far more fair than she Oh, be not her maid, for she is envious CAITLIN MORRIS: I’m so sorry, Whit? WHIT LEVENBERGER: Yeah? Hi CAITLIN MORRIS: Hi You’re doing so great WHIT LEVENBERGER: Am I? CAITLIN MORRIS: Um, yeah But I just– I was thinking you’re a teenager, right, in this play And what we know about teenagers in love is that they’re always, like, searching for the version of themself that the other person is going to be into, right? They’re like, I’m malleable Which kind of me do you like? WHIT LEVENBERGER: Right CAITLIN MORRIS: And so I think that you should do this monologue as a variety of options for me I’m going to– WHIT LEVENBERGER: Great Perfect CAITLIN MORRIS: I’m going to suggest some as we go Let’s start, in honor of my favorite show, “Outlander,” start as a Scotsman I’m going to imagine you in a kilt WHIT LEVENBERGER: Three, two, one– UNISON: Shakespeare WHIT LEVENBERGER: [USING SCOTTISH ACCENT] Her vestal livery is but sick and green and none but fools still wear it; cast it off Ew! It is my lady, ew! It is my love! Ew, that she knew she were CAITLIN MORRIS: OK, I’m sorry to interrupt I can’t understand a word that you’re saying WHIT LEVENBERGER: That’s fine That’s fine CAITLIN MORRIS: OK How about instead of that, like, give me like a “Downton Abbey,” kind of, like, stuffy British guy WHIT LEVENBERGER: Great, great She speaks– oh, yes– she says nothing, what of that? CAITLIN MORRIS: Um Who’s passing a stone [LAUGHTER] WHIT LEVENBERGER: (DRAWN OUT) ‘Tis not to me she speaks, but to– to– to– of the fair, oh, ooh– the caliber of this bullet, it’s too great for the rifle I bear! [LAUGHTER] Halcyon! CAITLIN MORRIS: OK, wait, wait, wait I’ve decided that actually I’m a little bit more home grown WHIT LEVENBERGER: Yeah, sure CAITLIN MORRIS: Can you give this to me like a Brooklynite who is, like, really mad about his Con Edison bill? WHIT LEVENBERGER: Yeah, yeah, yeah She speaks, yet she says nothing What of that? Oh, her eye discourses I will answer it Oh, nay ‘Tis not to me she speaks No! What she does is, she comes by, she estimates the amount of fucking money she wants to charge Think about it Wake up, America! You’re paying for a goddamn dream What is an estimated value? Can someone tell me what a kilowatt hour is? I feel like this is the right room I feel like– I’ve gotta get an– OK CAITLIN MORRIS: OK, I just got a brilliant one WHIT LEVENBERGER: That’s too much MIKE SAUSE: Too much WHIT LEVENBERGER: Too much CAITLIN MORRIS: How about let’s finish this off as– ooh, like a Southern voyeur– WHIT LEVENBERGER: OK CAITLIN MORRIS: –who does all of his business out of the back of his Lincoln And his only client is– WHIT LEVENBERGER: Ryan Phillippe Yeah, I got the reference I got it [MIMICS MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY] All right All right All right See how she leans her cheek upon her hand thus? Uh– that I were a glove upon that hand that I might touch that cheek You all want to buy a Lincoln? CAITLIN MORRIS: Whit Levenberger! Thank you [APPLAUSE] OK So blah, blah, blah, love and shit, he was a boy She was a girl Could I make it anymore obvious? No, no, really No WHIT LEVENBERGER: Children Children CAITLIN MORRIS: They’re actually children They’re like 14 years old But they’re convinced that they’re in love with each other and that their feelings are real We all remember that And so the second time they hang out, they decide they should get married, which sounds like a 14th century TLC show So they get secret married And Juliet– guys, Juliet is ready for that 2-step verification, if you know what I’m saying [APPLAUSE] But the nurse keeps coming in to interrupt them, so they can’t, you know, consummate the marriage So that’s where we’re at And in the street, at the same time that all of this is happening, this fight breaks out with Juliet’s cousin Tybalt Now, Tybalt is like the short guy on the wrestling team who’s way too aggressive, or like this unfathomably incompetent businessman with little baby hands who accidentally tripped into the Oval Office [LAUGHTER] Do you want to give us that? Thank you so much Good I’m just going to clean up MIKE SAUSE: (IMITATING DONALD TRUMP) Romeo WHIT LEVENBERGER: Wait MIKE SAUSE: Romeo Romeo? WHIT LEVENBERGER: How did you see me? I was in incognito mode [LAUGHTER]

Whatever I can only make that joke in this room I had to try MIKE SAUSE: The hate I bear thee can afford no better term than this Thou art a villain You’re a crooked liar, sad WHIT LEVENBERGER: Tybalt, the love I bear thee doth much excuse the appertaining rage to such a greeting Crooked– you still with me here, bud? MIKE SAUSE: I’m like one of those birds that dips in water, and bounces backward WHIT LEVENBERGER: Crooked liar am I none Therefore, farewell I see thou knowst me not MIKE SAUSE: Boy? WHIT LEVENBERGER: Don’t assume my gender MIKE SAUSE: Boy? This shall not excuse the injuries thou hast done me Therefore, turn and draw I’m going to make your insides great again WHIT LEVENBERGER: I do protest I never injured thee but love thee, better than thou canst devise till thou shalt know the reason for my love And so, good Capulet, whose name I tender as dearly as mine own, be satisfied CAITLIN MORRIS: Cool, cool So this would be where Mercutio jumps in And Mercutio is Romeo’s ride-or-die He is, like, going to sacrifice himself in honor of his best friend He is like Fred Weasley or the blind guy in “Rogue One.” But it turns out our Mercutio actually isn’t here Yeah, she used Apple Maps to try to find this location WHIT LEVENBERGER: Ooh CAITLIN MORRIS: Burn! So she’s in Cupertino So she didn’t make it But we do need a Mercutio WHIT LEVENBERGER: And I got that You find the person CAITLIN MORRIS: Actually, I feel like you, sir, you with the blue Yeah Mm-hmm You look like you moisturize Get up here! MIKE SAUSE: Yeah! CAITLIN MORRIS: Hi, thank you so much What’s your name? CHRIS: Chris CAITLIN MORRIS: Chris, awesome Chris, I have just two favors for you The first, can you help me with my SEO? CHRIS: Uh, what? [LAUGHTER] MIKE SAUSE: He doesn’t know what SEO is WHIT LEVENBERGER: He’s in Sales Found it That’s all right CAITLIN MORRIS: And the second, I want you to play Mercutio And all you have to do is just read off of– just come over here Can you just– here, just take a seat right here, center stage Look at you Oh, my god, your facial hair is incredible So you’re just going to read off of these cards, and then I’ll instruct you as we go All right, ready? Three, two, one– UNISON: Shakespeare CHRIS: I am hurt CAITLIN MORRIS: Great, great, great WHIT LEVENBERGER: Next card Next card Next card CHRIS: Ask me tomorrow, and you shall find me a grave man MIKE SAUSE: Oh! What a joke! WHIT LEVENBERGER: Keep going Keep going CHRIS: Caitlin, I know we just met, but I work in tech And if you– CAITLIN MORRIS: Oh, my god! Stop Not in front of these people We’ll talk about it later Stop it He just really [INAUDIBLE] CHRIS: A plague on both your houses! CAITLIN MORRIS: OK, now die MIKE SAUSE: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah CAITLIN MORRIS: Right there Oh, wow! MIKE SAUSE: Oh, shit! CAITLIN MORRIS: Yes! [APPLAUSE] WHIT LEVENBERGER: Oh, no Stay right there Oh, god! [SCREAMING] Ah! Mercutio! Oh, I swear! I will avenge you Here, I’m going to take this ring to remember you by I’m gonna take– just take– no, no, no, that’s mine now You’re dead So you go Go be dead over there, though CAITLIN MORRIS: Thank you so much Thank you WHIT LEVENBERGER: Oh, no, no, no CAITLIN MORRIS: Thank you for your– WHIT LEVENBERGER: I’m avenging you This is very– CAITLIN MORRIS: Give him back the ring Come on That’s worth more than your fucking savings [LAUGHTER] Thank you so much WHIT LEVENBERGER: Very true CAITLIN MORRIS: We’ll talk later WHIT LEVENBERGER: Tybalt! Take back that villain again which latest thou gavest me, for Mercutio’s soul is but a little ways above our head staying for thine to keep him company Either thou or I must go with him MIKE SAUSE: Thou wretched boy which did consort him here shalt with him hence WHIT LEVENBERGER: This shall determine that! [MUSIC PLAYING] MIKE SAUSE: Ooh, yeah CAITLIN MORRIS: Here you go, daggers It’s so important WHIT LEVENBERGER: Oh, don’t lick it I licked it UNISON: Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! WHIT LEVENBERGER: I am parrying, I am parrying, I am parrying Oh, we ran out of stage Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! WHIT LEVENBERGER: And oh! MIKE SAUSE: Yes! WHIT LEVENBERGER: No! UNISON: Spin move, ah, oh, ha Another spin move Ah! CAITLIN MORRIS: Break it up! Break it up! WHIT LEVENBERGER: I was so close MIKE SAUSE: I’m going to kill you WHIT LEVENBERGER: That’s not fair Don’t you tell me what to do CAITLIN MORRIS: You’re both so important to me WHIT LEVENBERGER: Caitlin, drink some water CAITLIN MORRIS: I don’t want anyone to get hurt! WHIT LEVENBERGER: How are you feeling? Whatever MIKE SAUSE: Five, six, seven, eight [MUSIC – MICHAEL JACKSON, “BEAT IT”] [LAUGHTER] CAITLIN MORRIS: What? What? Dance break? Boom! Shake, shake Mm Dish it out Dish it out Body roll, body roll Woo! WHIT LEVENBERGER: [SCREAMS] Ah! MIKE SAUSE: Oh UNISON: Oh Oh WHIT LEVENBERGER: Ah MIKE SAUSE: Ah WHIT LEVENBERGER: Gah MIKE SAUSE: Oh WHIT LEVENBERGER: Yeah Gah! MIKE SAUSE: Ah! WHIT LEVENBERGER: Gah! Dah! Oh Oh Gah Oh! CAITLIN MORRIS: Oh, my gosh! Oh, my god! WHIT LEVENBERGER: Ah! CAITLIN MORRIS: Stop it So graphic Just so graphic Get off of him So we get the point, right? Tybalt is slain And also, my husband, Mercutio– actually this is for you Thank you for your service Drink that after work

Don’t be weird [LAUGHTER] So everyone is dead There’s blood everywhere It’s like the Red Wedding up in here But Juliet does not know any of this has happened, because she is in her bedroom reading “Fifty Shades of Grey,” trying to figure out how her machinery works [LAUGHTER] Gallop apace, you fiery-footed steeds, towards Phoebus’ lodging Such a wagoner as Phaeton would whip you to the west and bring in cloudy night immediately Come, civil night, thou sober-suited matron, all in black And learn me how to lose a winning match played for a pair of stainless maidenhoods Come gentle night Come loving, black- browed night Bring me my Romeo! And when he shall die, take him, and cut him out into little stars [SPEAKING SPANISH] MIKE SAUSE: That’s my entrance line? CAITLIN MORRIS: Oh yeah You know it You speak the Espanol MIKE SAUSE: Yeah CAITLIN MORRIS: OK, so the nurse comes in, right? And what’s important to note is that the role of the nurse is like the consummate character actor role, OK? So Mike, I think you should deliver it as the consummate character actor, Christopher Walken Thank you so much MIKE SAUSE: OK (AS CHRISTOPHER WALKEN) Wow, Juliet baby Tybalt is gone CAITLIN MORRIS: I know MIKE SAUSE: Romeo is banish-shed Romeo, that killed him, he is banish-shed Pound sign, banned Sorry, baby, boom, I’m crazy CAITLIN MORRIS: I can’t make sense of anything you’re saying because your syntax is so weird So anyway, moral of the story is that, like, Romeo has been banish-shed from the area And he’s super bummed about it WHIT LEVENBERGER: [YELLING] Banish-shed equal than or greater than death, hashtag angry, hashtag all caps, hashtag pray for Houston [LAUGHTER] CAITLIN MORRIS: Mm, super MIKE SAUSE: That went over great WHIT LEVENBERGER: Just for you CAITLIN MORRIS: So Romeo finds out that he’s about to be exiled, too He’s, like, before I go, before I go, I should see Juliet one last time So he sneaks into Juliet’s bedroom window so they can catch the last train to Bone Town [MUSIC – MARVIN GAYE, “LET’S GET IT ON”] WHIT LEVENBERGER: Ooh, yeah CAITLIN MORRIS: Oh, show me that dongle, baby WHIT LEVENBERGER: Ooh Let’s suspend the disbelief and forget that we’re 14 years old and all we know about this was taught to us by a gym teacher CAITLIN MORRIS: Yeah! Bring it WHIT LEVENBERGER: You ready for this? Here we go UNISON: Simulated sex! WHIT LEVENBERGER: Sex! UNISON: Sex! Sex! WHIT LEVENBERGER: And– CAITLIN MORRIS: Sex! Sex! Wait, is that it? WHIT LEVENBERGER: Ooh, yeah, that’s it [LAUGHTER] Woo! CAITLIN MORRIS: Man, it really is so much worse than I thought it was going to be WHIT LEVENBERGER: That’s life, baby CAITLIN MORRIS: OK So needless to say, they do the deed Juliette’s parents are downstairs They have no idea that Romeo is currently mining her back end for dirty data [LAUGHTER] But because they have no idea about the relationship, they’ve already betrothed her to someone else, to one of Lord Capulet’s golf buddies, Paris And Paris is like– Paris is like the Verona equivalent of Paul Ryan, right? Like he’s handsome enough, he’s got a nice set of abs, but he has no spine MIKE SAUSE: [LAUGHS] Oh! CAITLIN MORRIS: Juliet is not about that life She’s, like, I just spent the best 14 seconds of my life– WHIT LEVENBERGER: I’m 14 years old Leave me alone CAITLIN MORRIS: OK, well, a second per year And she doesn’t want to get into that So she goes to the Friar, right? Now, the Friar is the lovers’ mutual drug dealer– think, like, Jesse Pinkman from “Breaking Bad”– and he’s always providing Romeo with grass, Juliet with oxy He’s just generally way too involved WHIT LEVENBERGER: Very dark CAITLIN MORRIS: I know It is– it’s a tragedy! So he comes in He’s like, I’ve got a plan Hit it! MIKE SAUSE: Yo! WHIT LEVENBERGER: God MIKE SAUSE: Listen, Juliet, I got a perfect plan You’re going to take a potion, bitch And then, it’s going to be like you’re dead But you’re actually asleep Science, bitch! CAITLIN MORRIS: First of all, I am offended by the B word Second of all, with a plan like that, she’s like, what could possibly go wrong? Turns out “everything” is the answer Because Romeo does not get the DM about the potion plan WHIT LEVENBERGER: Oh, I should have trusted all of my data with just Google Drive Fuck Microsoft Office Suite, am I right? CAITLIN MORRIS: Yeah, that’s what did it So he doesn’t know that she’s just sleeping and not

actually dead He shows up to the tomb, thinks she’s really dead Freaks out Kills Paul Ryan And then he stands over her lifeless body WHIT LEVENBERGER: Right CAITLIN MORRIS: Let’s make a tomb WHIT LEVENBERGER: A tomb MIKE SAUSE: Why are you– CAITLIN MORRIS: I’m going to do it this way WHIT LEVENBERGER: Yeah, that would make sense CAITLIN MORRIS: Great Great I’m just going to get in my tomb pose Hold on a second I have to look pretty while I’m dead Also, I have Spanx on, don’t worry OK, thank you MIKE SAUSE: You good? CAITLIN MORRIS: Thank you, yeah I’m sleeping WHIT LEVENBERGER: Oh, my love! My wife, death that hath sucked the honey of thy lips have had no power yet o’er thy beauty Thou art not conquered Here will I remain Here, in this gawdy auditorium with more collective wealth than the country of Liberia Here, with worms that are your chambermaids Here will I set up my everlasting rest and shake the yoke of inauspicious stars from this world-wearied flesh Eyes, look your last CAITLIN MORRIS: [GIGGLES] WHIT LEVENBERGER: Nice I’m 14, be cool Arms! Take your last embrace And lips, oh you, the doors of breath, seal with a righteous kiss a dateless bargain to engrossing death CAITLIN MORRIS: [KISSING SOUND] WHIT LEVENBERGER: Oh, that must be the rigor mortis pucker setting in That’s good That’s good And mwah! OK, here’s to my– I didn’t– I did not bring a potion with me for this CAITLIN MORRIS: Oh, no! You don’t have a potion? I like drinking buddies WHIT LEVENBERGER: Green apple, thanks Here’s to my love CAITLIN MORRIS: Give it a chug, yeah UNISON: Chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug MIKE SAUSE: Chug, chug– CAITLIN MORRIS: You’ve been iced MIKE SAUSE: Chug, chug, chug CAITLIN MORRIS: Yeah, pink in the face MIKE SAUSE: Chug, chug, chug Yeah! CAITLIN MORRIS: Wow, what a man [APPLAUSE] WHIT LEVENBERGER: Oh, god! Oh, true apothecary! Thy drugs are– very sugary Thus, with a kiss, oh, I need that MIKE SAUSE: You need that WHIT LEVENBERGER: I die Oh! CAITLIN MORRIS: [GASPS] What’s this? A cup? Thank you Closed in my true love’s hand? Poison, I see, hath been his timeless end O churl, drunk all and left no friendly drop to help me after– can I just get up for a sec? WHIT LEVENBERGER: I’m dead CAITLIN MORRIS: I’m just– but my legs– WHIT LEVENBERGER: I’m a method actor! Fine CAITLIN MORRIS: Both legs are going to sleep Thank you I will kiss thy lips Happily some poison yet doth hang on them to make die with a restorative MIKE SAUSE: Oh, god Oh, no! CAITLIN MORRIS: Really worth it, guys Wow Thy lips taste of green apple Yea, noise? Then I’ll be quick WHIT LEVENBERGER: Yep, right there CAITLIN MORRIS: O happy dagger, this is my sheath Thus, there rust, and let me die Ah! Come, tears confound, out, sword, and wound the pap of Pyramus WHIT LEVENBERGER: This is not “Romeo and Juliet” anymore CAITLIN MORRIS: Ay, that left Pap, where the heart doth hop Thus die Can I sit on your lap? Thank you so much Die, die, die, die, die, eh! It’s so much more comfy to die like this So good MIKE SAUSE: A glooming peace this morning with it bring CAITLIN MORRIS: Now am I dead WHIT LEVENBERGER: Oh, damn it Damn it CAITLIN MORRIS: Now am I fled My soul is in the sky Tongue, lose thy light Moon, take thy flight Get out of here, moon Thus die I. I’m going to die on you again MIKE SAUSE: The sun, for sorrow– CAITLIN MORRIS: OK, now I’m really dead MIKE SAUSE: –and all– CAITLIN MORRIS: Is this comfy for you? AUDIENCE: Yeah MIKE SAUSE: Are you dead yet? CAITLIN MORRIS: Yeah, I’m dead [LAUGHTER] MIKE SAUSE: For never was a story of more woe, than this of Juliet– CAITLIN MORRIS: What’s up? MIKE SAUSE: –and her Romeo There, we did it! WHIT LEVENBERGER: Hey! CAITLIN MORRIS: Buddy! Nice to meet you You smell amazing! MIKE SAUSE: The fastest, drunkest Shakespeare’s “Romeo and Juliet.” Now we’re going to have a quick Q&A here in a second But make sure you go to online DrunkShakespeare.com Also, check us out at our hidden library at 43rd and 8th for a show And please check us out on social media @DrunkShakes And let’s bring up Henry and the gang CAITLIN MORRIS: Henry and the gang! MIKE SAUSE: Henry and the gang! CAITLIN MORRIS: Cuckoo! WHIT LEVENBERGER: I’m going to– HENRY FAULKNER: One more time for our cast, Mike, Caitlin and Whit [APPLAUSE] MIKE SAUSE: And the Sause HENRY FAULKNER: Not only incredibly entertaining and informative– CAITLIN MORRIS: Where do I sit? HENRY FAULKNER: –but probably one of the greatest challenges our transcriber has ever encountered [LAUGHTER] CAITLIN MORRIS: Nailed it Nailed it HENRY FAULKNER: My favorite was just the parentheses, the part where they just gave up, “speaks foreign language.” [LAUGHTER] WHIT LEVENBERGER: America has no official language, just saying LISA KLAGES: That’s true HENRY FAULKNER: All right Do we have questions? Oh, so many questions AUDIENCE: Hey, there Thank you for coming out This was wonderful How do you decide which show you what to do each night, for each show? SCOTT GRIFFIN: It’s a secret

So we don’t actually say what the show is until after the first four shots of whisky AUDIENCE: To each other? SCOTT GRIFFIN: Oh no We know what’s going on MIKE SAUSE: We know CAITLIN MORRIS: Oh, I like your shirt [LAUGHTER] MIKE SAUSE: Just in case– just in case you ever forget where you’re at, you know AUDIENCE: Kind of a thing we wear here HENRY FAULKNER: No one here pays for their own clothing CAITLIN MORRIS: This is a caramel brownie HENRY FAULKNER: Other questions? CAITLIN MORRIS: You guys have great snacks HENRY FAULKNER: Those are the hazelnut meringue from La Place? CAITLIN MORRIS: So good They’re so good HENRY FAULKNER: They’re on fleek, as the kids say CAITLIN MORRIS: They’re fleek, yeah HENRY FAULKNER: They are [LAUGHTER] Now, this has got to be, like, this is probably what you guys enjoy every night, is that you’ve done this whole thing and you have this adrenaline And you have a drunk friend who’s just hanging out CAITLIN MORRIS: Yeah What’s up, Columbia? HENRY FAULKNER: Yeah AUDIENCE: Do you guys have after parties? And if so, what do you do with the flat tire? [LAUGHTER] CAITLIN MORRIS: Listen, I’m the transmission of that car [LAUGHTER] I don’t know anything about cars, but that seems important WHIT LEVENBERGER: That’s cool, yeah We don’t really have– we do cast outings, which, much like an event like this, is about bringing everybody together, or sharing a different experience than what we do on a day to day A cast party is usually, like, after you wrap, after you end the show And our little independent-show-thatcould just keeps rambling onward We do go out after the show We went out– MIKE SAUSE: We went out last night It started out as fun drinks, and then as my Bengals started to suck and suck more, it was sad drinks for me WHIT LEVENBERGER: Sad drinking, a lot of sad drinking A lot of yeah, yeah, yeah CAITLIN MORRIS: I’m so sorry LISA KLAGES: Also, the flat tire gets a car home at the end of the night [LAUGHTER] MIKE SAUSE: It’s all about that Uber, you know HENRY FAULKNER: And parents, please, don’t be shy You’re also welcome to the mic CAITLIN MORRIS: Parents are so important WHIT LEVENBERGER: Let’s just answer the first one I’ll answer the first question from the parents who are at the back– huge disappointments Huge MIKE SAUSE: To our families WHIT LEVENBERGER: No problem CAITLIN MORRIS: Do you have a question? AUDIENCE: Yeah, I have a question CAITLIN MORRIS: Hi AUDIENCE: Awesome show– I wonder if you guys have ever heard of Shakespeare Improv from Chicago WHIT LEVENBERGER: Yes Oh, my god They’re good AUDIENCE: It’s my favorite show And you guys are now up there [LAUGHTER] HENRY FAULKNER: Wow MIKE SAUSE: Oh CAITLIN MORRIS: Drunk seconds AUDIENCE: But I’m kidding MIKE SAUSE: The treasured “up there.” WHIT LEVENBERGER: Take that Whoo! AUDIENCE: No, no You guys are amazing Do you guys ever want to do a collaboration or anything? MIKE SAUSE: I would I mean, because I’m an improviser, that’s my main background, I saw them in Chicago two months ago And I was just blown away that anyone would have an hour and a half show with an intermission for improv And it was, by far, one of the top improv things I’ve ever seen I mean, I would die to do something with them AUDIENCE: If you guys could make that happen, that would be– WHIT LEVENBERGER: Yeah? CAITLIN MORRIS: We’re on it We’re on it Do you know any people? HENRY FAULKNER: So are we officially challenging– MIKE SAUSE: Producer? CAITLIN MORRIS: Make it happen, Scott MIKE SAUSE: He’s the one that’s gonna make it happen HENRY FAULKNER: A Shakespeare off Or a Shakes off WHIT LEVENBERGER: A shakes off? HENRY FAULKNER: Shake it off MIKE SAUSE: That sounds dirty HENRY FAULKNER: Oh This is where we’re drawing the line on the show, now? CAITLIN MORRIS: Yeah, yeah, yeah We don’t make dirty jokes here Come on What’s up, Vinnie? MIKE SAUSE: Do you know his name? CAITLIN MORRIS: Yeah, we’re friends WHIT LEVENBERGER: Jesus CAITLIN MORRIS: I died on him I have to know his name Come on HENRY FAULKNER: Oh And this is great, now that we have– you guys are going to live forever on YouTube Oh, no! [LAUGHTER] WHIT LEVENBERGER: Well, it will definitely be the first time any portion of our show has appeared on YouTube CAITLIN MORRIS: My grandma is so proud HENRY FAULKNER: Which begs the question, how often do your parents come and see the show? And if you know you’ve got parents, do you want to especially be drunk or not be drunk that night? CAITLIN MORRIS: Yeah, my parents have come a lot WHIT LEVENBERGER: Yeah CAITLIN MORRIS: I think maybe they’re just checking in on me But they come– oh, my god It’s the same guy HENRY FAULKNER: We actually all look the same AUDIENCE: Yeah CAITLIN MORRIS: Google shirt! Google shirt! MIKE SAUSE: Freaking me out, man AUDIENCE: I have a twin who also works here I’m not the same guy CAITLIN MORRIS: You’re wearing the same shirt AUDIENCE: I was wondering about the impersonations Do you guys give each other the set-ups to do characters that you know each other can nail every time, or are you really, like– HENRY FAULKNER: And can you answer that question in voices? MIKE SAUSE: Like? What voices do you want? WHIT LEVENBERGER: I mean, it kind of works out, like, we try a bunch of stuff And some stuff works, and some stuff doesn’t And so the next time– HENRY FAULKNER: That happens here, too WHIT LEVENBERGER: Yeah And the next time we do it, we will keep most of the ones that worked and then try new ones for the ones that didn’t work And then, over time, you just kind of learn We always want to keep a few wild cards, just to keep exploring and keep finding new material for the show MIKE SAUSE: (AS GEORGE W. BUSH) Yeah Sometimes you gotta just throw spaghetti at a wall WHIT LEVENBERGER: All right

MIKE SAUSE: And whatever sticks, that’s what you keep That’s my life philosophy CAITLIN MORRIS: Thank you, W WHIT LEVENBERGER: Thank you, W CAITLIN MORRIS: We also had one show where someone made all of us do Michael Caine impressions WHIT LEVENBERGER: Oh, my god CAITLIN MORRIS: And that was really bad WHIT LEVENBERGER: That was really, really spectacularly– CAITLIN MORRIS: All I could say was Master Bruce Master Bruce WHIT LEVENBERGER: You sound like– CAITLIN MORRIS: Oh, Master Bruce She was only 16 [LAUGHTER] MIKE SAUSE: She was only 16 WHIT LEVENBERGER: She was only 16, Master Wayne CAITLIN MORRIS: Yeah, we sort of made a rule that that bit was never allowed again MIKE SAUSE: Oh, yeah That bit was banned WHIT LEVENBERGER: Forever in our hearts, mate HENRY FAULKNER: If you could keep one thing for posterity, that was it MIKE SAUSE: Oh AUDIENCE: Hi CAITLIN MORRIS: Hi WHIT LEVENBERGER: Hi AUDIENCE: How are you doing? CAITLIN MORRIS: Great WHIT LEVENBERGER: So good So good AUDIENCE: OK, so have you ever done a show with two people drunk? [LAUGHTER] CAITLIN MORRIS: Not on purpose MIKE SAUSE: Officially? CAITLIN MORRIS: Not officially DAVID HUDSON: There certainly, early on, were several shows where the entire cast started drinking midway through the show, which turned into crazy, crazy nights of chaos We try to do a good job now of limiting it Because there is drinking– they are already drinking enough each week So we try to make sure that– and we want to keep that single flat tire and not the whole car just slow rolling down the– WHIT LEVENBERGER: On fire on the side of the road, yeah [LAUGHTER] AUDIENCE: Thank you MIKE SAUSE: Thank you HENRY FAULKNER: Have you ever thought about a matinee of just, like, hungover Shakespeare? MIKE SAUSE: Oh, baby CAITLIN MORRIS: Oh, man That would be brutal That would be– SCOTT GRIFFIN: Just coffee for everyone WHIT LEVENBERGER: Just so angry CAITLIN MORRIS: And lots of bagels and fried eggs WHIT LEVENBERGER: We could do “Titus” that way, just scream the whole way through SCOTT GRIFFIN: So we’re actually about to launch a new show, which we haven’t announced yet But we can announce it now MIKE SAUSE: A Google exclusive! HENRY FAULKNER: As good a time as any LISA KLAGES: I’m excited CAITLIN MORRIS: And YouTube SCOTT GRIFFIN: We get a lot of requests from teachers, high school teachers, who think this is a really fun introduction to Shakespeare Of course, we can’t bring all the drinking into the classroom, as much as the teachers would like to So we’re launching a new show called “Junk Shakespeare.” And it’s kind of like extreme food challenges meeting Shakespeare CAITLIN MORRIS: Adam Richman, watch out SCOTT GRIFFIN: With a lot of opportunity for revenge from the performers So this will be for high school students, similar to the kind of thing that you’re seeing today But taking out the alcohol and replacing it with things like a shot of– DAVID HUDSON: Mustard! SCOTT GRIFFIN: –espresso with soy sauce DAVID HUDSON: And mustard LISA KLAGES: Pickle juice CAITLIN MORRIS: Boo MIKE SAUSE: Ew DAVID HUDSON: That sounds super-fun CAITLIN MORRIS: Pickleback DAVID HUDSON: A lot of eating chilies LISA KLAGES: Pop rocks WHIT LEVENBERGER: Yeah, oh, yeah LISA KLAGES: Barbecue sauce WHIT LEVENBERGER: We did that That was fun SCOTT GRIFFIN: We’ve been experimenting LISA KLAGES: We’ve been playing HENRY FAULKNER: Like, wow, that’s– CAITLIN MORRIS: Do you need a minute, Henry? HENRY FAULKNER: You’re just basically letting high schoolers dictate the show? Right? SCOTT GRIFFIN: Yeah So it’s high schoolers giving challenges But it’s also the cast giving challenges to each other So there will be challenges set up, and then revenge challenges that come back throughout the show HENRY FAULKNER: So there’s a whole meta arc to this theater company WHIT LEVENBERGER: Yes HENRY FAULKNER: You’re drinking together You’re sort of all over each other And then the next day– CAITLIN MORRIS: What? HENRY FAULKNER: –you’re, like, challenge WHIT LEVENBERGER: The dagger HENRY FAULKNER: Yeah CAITLIN MORRIS: Oh, it’s my new hair accoutrement You guys should try it It’s very cute HENRY FAULKNER: Well, thank you very much This has been absolutely one of the– certainly, one of the best Fridays we’ve had in a while Actually, no, If you’re a parent here, this is every Friday This is formal It just works as intended Another big round of applause for the cast of “Drunk Shakespeare.” [APPLAUSE] CAITLIN MORRIS: Now do we get to ask them questions? MIKE SAUSE: Yeah DAVID HUDSON: Caitlin wants to ask the audience questions HENRY FAULKNER: Oh, yeah That’s– totally CAITLIN MORRIS: I’ve got questions for all of you involving my SEO situation Anyway, I’m kidding I have to pee OK I gotta go pee WHIT LEVENBERGER: Caitlin Morris, ladies and gentlemen HENRY FAULKNER: She’s a peach All right Well, thank you very much We look forward to seeing more from you guys And yeah, come back again We have nine cafes So there’s all sorts of weird food challenges you can make here Bring it back We come up with some weird dishes WHIT LEVENBERGER: Cool HENRY FAULKNER: All right MIKE SAUSE: Thank you so much Thanks for having us HENRY FAULKNER: All right Cheers [APPLAUSE] MIKE SAUSE: Thank you